MeMoRiEs Of YoU and Jade Puget
by XDeliciouslyxEmOriFicX
Summary: You play a girl named Jesse who lives with her roommates and ends up getting in a car crash involving jade puget from AFI. little do you know he's a huge part of your past. Lot's of music referral so study up on the bands I put in.
1. Character Descriptions

Name: Jesse Hansen

Nickname: None in particular, might get one later

Age: 20 going 21

Height: 5'5, short and petite. Skinny yet curvy

Hair color: Hot rod red

Hair style: Short, pixie like, spiky in back, layered

Eye color: Golden tint green a.k.a. piercing green

Style: Unique. Not really punk but never preppy. Herself. Artsy. The ordinary. Whatever you make of her.

Personality: Caring. Sensitive. She cares a lot about people and she can really be funny when she wants to but sometimes she's quiet when she has a lot on her mind. Scarred like every one of us.

Name: Sarah Schilling

Nickname: Schilling

Age: 25

Height: 5'6

Hair color: Black with purple streaks

Hair style: Thick, Chin-length, straight

Eye color: Warm Brown eyes

Style: Hardcore Punk

Personality: Strong and bold, can be bitchy at times, but an all around caring individual with an opinion that could break your arm

Name: Nick Geiger

Nickname: Geiger

Age: 26

Height: 5'11

Hair color: Black, naturally brown

Hair style: shaggy and in his face

Eye color: Blue eyes

Style: Emocore yet somewhat nerd

Personality: Nagging, yet fun loving and hilarious big brother type


	2. Car Crash

"Jesse, we need you to go to the grocery store. I know it's shitty weather but we're starving!" You sighed and grabbed the car keys and walked out the door into inches of pouring rain. You put the key into the ignition and backed out of the driveway. Sometimes your roommates bugged you. They always made fun of you for being younger than them and they always nagged you about their own needs but they are the only 'friends' you have. You had always somewhat admired Schilling and Geiger. You called them by their last names because it seemed like that was the cooler thing to do. Cool in a nerdy sense, you guess. But anyways, you were driving in the interstate. It was slippery as hell outside and you could hardly see through the front window. You kind of spaced into your own thoughts before the light turned green. It took you a minute to notice before screaming, "Oh shit," and hitting the gas. But by the time you hit the gas, the light had turned yellow and even quicker to red. And there you were flying through the intersection avoiding every car until that one. You then found yourself collided with another car. At the time, you in general were in a minor amount of pain. You head hit the steering wheel before the airbag hit you in the face. There was a cut right above your left eyebrow and because it was a head wound, large amounts of blood were being deposited. "Curse you short attention span…who'd I hit?" You thought as you pulled yourself out of the car and leaned against the bumper before sliding to the ground. You looked up clutching your stomach as you noticed the driver of the other car. He was less beat up then you other than the scar on his right cheek. You could hear him cussing to himself as he surveyed the damage. He took a look at you and his eyes widened as he ran over to help you up. "Oh my God, are you okay?" He asked as he pulled you up. "Uh, yeah, I'm fine. I'm just a little light-headed." He grabbed your waist to keep you steady so you wouldn't fall. "Thanks. My name is Jesse." He smiled. "Jade. Nice to meet you," he paused, "Sad that it had to be in a situation like this." You laughed. You were slightly out of it while talking to him but attempted to converse while waiting for the ambulances.

Eventually the ambulances came and tended to your wounds. "Well, Jade, I guess I'm really sorry for my short attention span. I really didn't expect to hit you. Maybe we'll meet each other in the future if we're lucky. But for now, this goodbye." You said as you bowed to him in a polite manner. You looked up at his eyes one last time but as you turned to walk away to your car, you felt something make you want to turn around and look at his eyes. When you turned around, you noticed he had a sad look in his eyes. "Are you going to miss me that much?" He pouted his lip and made a cute face and said, "I don't know. I believe in fate and running into your car couldn't just of happened for no reason." He smirked. "You cocky bastard. I'm not giving into that crap." You laughed and said your final goodbye before driving home in a wrecked up car with no money to pay for it and shitty insurance.

"Oh my god, Jesse! What happened?" asked Schilling when you got home. "Car accident," you moaned. "No groceries?" asked Geiger as you walked into the kitchen. "Shut up. I'm not in the mood. My head hurts and I nearly died on the way to the store. My omen tells me to avoid driving for awhile." You then take Tylenol before heading upstairs and falling asleep. But only so you could wake up to the loud music of your LOVING roommate. Geiger was an emo kid and he always blared his music and pissed off the neighbors. Right now his obsession was Atreyu. But this band didn't sound like Atreyu.

You get up and walk into his room, which was across the hall, and ask him what he was listening to. "AFI, they are fucking great. Especially that guitarist. He comes up with some sweet rifts." You nodded like you understood even though you didn't. You had more on my mind. "Hey, let me show me this picture of him. Maybe you've heard of him. His name is Jade Puget." Geiger was more like a big brother to you. He gave you shit when you didn't want it and then tries getting you into the stuff he likes.

He grabs a picture off of the computer desk and holds it up to you. "Isn't he great?" You take a good look at the picture. "Hey, I met a guy today that looks just like that and his name is Jade too! What are the odds of that?" You laugh. "Jesse…oh my god! Are you stupid? They're performing here in Berkeley in 3 days! Oh my god, you got to meet Jade Puget! I'm jealous!" You shook your head. "No I'm not stupid, I just got in a car accident because of my idiot roommates call for hunger! Sigh. You scare me sometimes, Geiger. Yet you never cease to surprise me when it comes to your sexuality." He makes a face like he was to argue but you backed out of the room and walked downstairs. 'Wow, I met a guy from AFI. Maybe I should go see him at the concert,' you think to yourself. "But where could I get tickets?" You whined out loud. "I know where you could," you heard Schilling say. "Oh my god! Where?" She sighed. "It's not going to be easy but I can get them at a cost."

"I'll do anything!"

"Alrighty then. Just follow my lead and Jade Puget will be yours."

FASTFORWARD

At the concert

You were standing in the middle of the concert hall. No one was there yet. You came way to early but it was completely worth it. It was dripping wet outside and the guards let you in because they didn't want you to get sick or something. You sighed and sat on the stage. "At least I'll get a good spot," you say to yourself.

"Excuse me, are you looking for someone?" You hear someone say from behind you. "Oh no, I'm just," you start to say but as you turn around, you realize it's Jade. "Oh, hey! I thought I'd visit you one last time before I probably never see you again. You never told me you were in AFI." You laughed.

"Ahem, sorry to correct you but you never asked therefore I never told." He said really snobbish. "Well, I got tickets so we could 'bond' after our little incident. I figured we'd might as well check up on each other before you disappear."

He smiled and said, "I hardly know you yet when we talk, it's like we've known each other for years!" You smile and look up at his pretty eyes and kind of gaze for a while. When you realized you were gawking, you snapped yourself out of it and stood up. "So, I see you have a guitar on your shoulder. Show me what you can do and I might show you some secrets of my own."

He raised an eyebrow at you like he swore you were flirting. You probably were on accident but something about him made you feel confident enough to speak like that.

He started to play something on his les paul as he started to softly sing the words to the Bleed Black chorus. You felt like your insides were melting. You thought that sounded cheesy but it was true. Soon he stopped and asked you, "So what are you into? Music? Art?" You looked at the ground and said softly, suddenly feeling shy, "I really like drawing. I don't think I'm that good but I'm trying to get somewhere with it but I haven't gotten much inspiration. I also am really into writing and singing too but not many have heard me sing."

Jade hopped up at this and exclaimed, "Well now is your time to shine! Sing something for me and I'll tell you honestly what I think about it." You stand up, blushing, but you say, "I could never just sing on the spot. That'd be so awkward. I get so nervous sometimes, it makes everything so complicated."

He frowned a little and then said, "Well, what if I gave you something to sing. Maybe, it'll give you the inspiration to sing as loud as you can!" You shrugged and you suddenly got chills down your spine.

"Here, this is a really good song I heard on the radio the other day. It's called Breathe by Anna Nalick."

"You listen to Anna Nalick?"

"Yes…but never mind that, just sing it. I can play the piano part for you."

He put his fingers on the keys and started to play and you felt obligated to sing for once in your life. Your voice came out crisp and soft as it sang the lyrics to one of your favorites songs, shockingly.

"2 AM and she calls me 'cause I'm still awake,  
"Can you help me unravel my latest mistake,  
I don't love him. Winter just wasn't my season"  
Yeah we walk through the doors, so accusing their eyes  
Like they have any right at all to criticize,  
Hypocrites. You're all here for the very same reason

'Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable  
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table  
No one can find the rewind button, girl.  
So cradle your head in your hands  
And breathe... just breathe,  
Oh breathe, just breathe

May he turn 21 on the base at Fort Bliss  
"Just a Day", he said down to the flask in his fist,  
"Ain't been sober, since maybe October of last year."  
Here in town you can tell he's been down for a while,  
But, my God, it's so beautiful when the boy smiles,  
Wanna hold him. Maybe I'll just sing about it.

Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable,  
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table.  
No one can find the rewind button, boys,  
So cradle your head in your hands,  
And breathe... just breathe,  
Oh breathe, just breathe

There's a light at each end of this tunnel,  
You shout 'cause you're just as far in as you'll ever be out  
And these mistakes you've made, you'll just make them again  
If you only try turning around.

2 AM and I'm still awake, writing a song  
If I get it all down on paper, it's no longer inside of me,  
Threatening the life it belongs to  
And I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd  
Cause these words are my diary, screaming out loud  
And I know that you'll use them, however you want to

But you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable,  
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table  
No one can find the rewind button now  
Sing it if you understand.  
and breathe, just breathe  
woah breathe, just breathe,  
Oh breathe, just breathe,  
Oh breathe, just breathe."

As you finish off, you smile at him. "I did it. I've never been able to do it but I did it!" You started jumping around in joy. You've never been able to just sing out in public. You sounded good! You didn't choke! Your body was filled with excitement and the concert wasn't even started yet. "Honestly, I think you sounded incredible. It made me feel good to listen to you sing. Thank you," was all jade had said to you after you performed. "Well, I really need to do some sound check. I don't mind if you watch but beware, I tend you crack when I sing so you've been warned." He smiled at you one last time before turning around and walking towards the mic. It seemed like he was really trying hard to impress you. As you sat down near the stage, you felt someone come up from behind you. "Hey, are you Jesse?" You looked up at him and said yes. He continued saying, "You're that chick Jade crashed into! Oh man, I told him he couldn't drive worth shit but does he listen to me? No. Oh by the way, my name is Davey."

You smiled but added, "Oh, nice to meet you. But it was my fault. I ran into him because I spaced out during a green light." He smiled but leaned over and put his arm on your shoulder and whispered, "But Jade doesn't have to know that," and laughed. "So, you're the famous Davey Havok that I got filled in about by Geiger." Davey stood and smirked, "The one and only. Now excuse me but I feel the need to give Jade shit about everything he does." He then walked off, laughing maniacally as he plotted his evil schemes. You sighed and then got up to go to the bathroom to check your makeup to make sure it wasn't smeared.

As you walked into the ladies room, you looked at yourself in the full-length mirror. You suddenly felt inferior. "Why does that Jade give me chills? I feel like I know him from somewhere in my past, but where?" You sighed again, and smudged one of your eyes and used three fingers and smudged it down. It looked kind of neat.

As you exited the bathroom, you walked around the concert hall to get a feel for what you were going to see when the concert started. Jade was so cute and nice. But you just met him. 'Don't push your luck, Jesse,' you told yourself. 'Keep it friendly but not flirty.' You sighed and walked over to the stage and waited for the concert to start.

The Concert

You were standing in the front of the crowd surrounded by thousands of people as you heard the band start to play. The familiar guitar as "Days of the phoenix" began to echo throughout the concert hall. Thousands of screams started as you realized the lights had gone up and the band was witnessed on the stage.

You started shaking as a moshpit started right behind you and sucked you in. You were being crammed between two guys as you fought to get out. As you finally got out, someone ran up to you and flung you out into the pit again, but someone lifted you up before you fell and threw you on top of the crowd seeing as you were light enough.

You felt thousands of people underneath you as you neared the stage. Jade was standing on the amps like always, and as you came near you reached out to touch his hand as he reached back. You were about to touch hands but then someone dropped you and you landed on your head. You blacked out.

You woke up and found yourself backstage on a couch in a dressing room. "Ow, my head," you said when you remember what happened. "Do you need another ice pack?" you heard a voice behind you. You turned around and noticed someone somewhat familiar but you're sure you never met him. "Oh my name is Adam."

You then remembered where you knew him. "You're the drummer of AFI. Duh, I should've remembered that. Geiger wouldn't shut up about you guys." You laughed. Then he said, "Yeah, we get that a lot surprisingly. So, how's your head. You had quite a fall back there. Jade wouldn't shut up about it. But yeah, the show is over now. Sorry you had to miss it."

You smiled at him and said, "Oh no, it's fine. I'm just glad I'm here backstage. Where is the rest of them?" you say referring to the rest of the band. "Oh, they are screwing around in the lounge. You can come join them if you think you're feeling well enough." You nodded and followed him out into the lounge. You noticed a lot of fans screaming and getting autographs from them. All of the guys had a look of somewhat despair as if they really didn't want to do this for them millionth time. Nothing against their fans though, it's a living.

"Hey Jesse, you're okay!" said Davey as you walked up. Jade was still focused on autographs. When he looked up and saw you, he stopped for a second and stared but then snapped himself out of it. "Jesse, you're okay. That's good. You scared me back there! I thought you died!"

You then heard some yells. You turned and looked to see two kids screaming at the guards to get in. "She's our roommate! We need to see that she's okay!"

You walked over and said, "Geiger? Schilling? What are you doing here?"

They stopped shoving the guards and stood up straight. Schilling was first to speak. "We came to the concert too!" Geiger then said, "We came to make sure you were alright after that fall. We could see that all the way from where we were standing!"

You smiled as Jade walked up from behind you and grabbed your shoulders and whispered, "Who are they?"

You smiled and said they were your roommates. Jade had the 'OH' expression on his face as he asked the guards to let them in. They ran in and nearly knocked you over as they smothered you in hugs and made sure you were all right. "I'm shocked that you guys would worry about me that much," you said. They picked you up and put their arms around your shoulders. "Oh, come on. You're like our little sister! We have to watch out for you! It's our priority," said Schilling smiling.

"Eh, sorry to break up the family reunion but can we be introduced to these 'roommates'?" said Jade uneasily. You laughed and said, "This is Schilling and Geiger. She's 25 and he's 26."

He nodded and then asked, "Then how old does that make you?"

"I'm only 20!"

Jade stopped to think about this. He was 32 going 33 and she's only 20! That's like almost 13 years apart! "Wow, you really are just like their little sister." He said with an uncomfortable expression.

"Yeah, except these guys are lazy asses! I have to be the only responsible one in every situation! What would you guys do without me?" You said in defense. "Interesting. I feel old." Said Jade. "Lucky, I haven't even hit drinking age! Haha, doesn't stop me from drinking. Age is only a number."

"If only it were that simple…" thought Jade. He continued thinking, "Can I really like someone I've only known for two days? I need to slow it down or else I might be getting into something that none of us are ready for…"


	3. Freaky dreams and overdosing

"Hey kid, what are you drawing?" asked Jade as he sat down on the chair next to you. "I thought I told you not to call me kid. It makes me feel small."

"But you're 12 years younger than me." You frowned and said, "Well that makes you 12 years OLDER than me so I can physically call you gramps!" He made a face and said, "Aw! You go to your room little missy!"

"One second, I'm not done with my drawing..." He leaned over your shoulder and took a look at what you were drawing. It was a sketch of a person with large brown eyes sparkling in the moonlight sitting on a roof. It sort of looked like Jade but a little younger. "Wow, that's really good. It looks all Anime-ish." You looked up at him and smiled before saying, "Manga was my first type of drawing I mastered. I've gotten really far in it though. It makes things seem more realistic to me so I try drawing a lot to get better."

You looked down at the paper. It felt incomplete. You then started to draw a little girl next to the young boy. The girl looked like you. For some reason this felt like déjà vu. As you sat in your chair, you started to drift off into a dream...

DREAM

You were only 6 years old and you were panting and running through trees and bushes as fast as you can. They were scratching you but you had to keep running. The smell of lake water filled your senses as you kept dashing through the woods. You were crying. When you had gotten to the other side of the forest, you had fallen to your knees and sobbed by yourself. Then a young boy about 18 had walked out of his house. He had dark brown hair and large brown eyes. He lifted you up from the mud and carried you up onto the roof of his house. Once up there, he spoke to you, his voice soft yet stern. "We're not going to let them do this to you anymore. There's going to be a man that will take you away from all this pain. But then I'm probably never going to see you again. But that is the cost of your freedom. Do you understand?"

I couldn't have nodded because I was far too young to take it in but I nodded anyway as he said one last thing, "I won't forget you. You are the only thing I've cared about. You are my family, Jesse. I love you, and this is why I'm sending you away. Maybe someday we'll see each other. You never know. But for now, can we at least watch the moon one last time?" You smiled through your tears and sat with your knees to your chest while he kept you warm. You had dozed off...

REALITY

You woke up and looked outside. "What was that all about?" you asked yourself out loud. You shook your head and got up to down into the lower part of the hotel. You were staying at the hotel to hangout with the band after the show. You had just fallen asleep in their room while drawing and you were wondering what time it was. It was 4:45. You had been sleeping for an hour. "I wonder where they are all at?" you questioned as you walked into the elevator. You hit the button to the first floor as the doors closed. But instead of going straight to the first floor, it went up to the 4 floor and stopped. You stood there conspicuously and waited for someone to walk in. When the doors opened, Jade walked in. "What were you doing on the fourth floor?" you asked. "Oh I had some business to take care of. Where are you heading?"

"Um, I was looking for you guys. I accidentally fell asleep when I was drawing." You answered. You noticed the elevator had stopped for some odd reason. You looked at the dial to see if you were at another floor. You weren't. "Why'd the elevator stop?" You asked Jade. "I don't know but it better start up soon."

You stopped and sat down and pulled out the drawing from earlier. You stared at it a long time. Jade sat down next to you and said, "Hey, who did you get this idea from? It kind seems familiar but I can't place my finger on it."

You looked and him and said, "I got it from my memories. I can't think of it either but I just had this dream that I was running and this boy told me that I'd be all right and that I'd be saved and I'd never see him again. It was so strange... But it was probably nothing." You both turned away from each other both thinking, "No, it couldn't be..."

"It's probably just a coincidence," you say. Jade sighs and says, "but I feel like I should remember something in those limits but I blocked out my life from 18 and up and I feel like something important is coming back to me."

"Then maybe this will refresh your memory possibly. I'll give you the whole story of my dream." So you told him everything. By the end of it all, he said, "Wow, I feel like this refreshes some of my past that I can't remember. I remember moving out of my parent's house when I turned 19 but before that...I remember helping this little girl because her Aunt was physically abusing her with knives and fireworks. I remember, she had this burn on her leg. It was so bad; we had to take her into the hospital once. The last day I saw her was the day we laid on the roof." He looked up at the ceiling of the elevator. "I wonder if we'll get out of here sometime soon. I'm hungry," He said. You sighed again, and said to him, "I'm wondering if I'm the chick you're talking about. I didn't think I had a bad life n the past. I know my parents died and I know that I lived in a foster home for a few years but I don't ever recall being abused. That time of my life is a complete blur." Jade then stood up. "But anyways," he started, "are you ticklish?"

"What? Why?" you asked. Because right then he attacked you and tickled you on your stomach. "Jade! Stop it! No, hahaha" you screamed, It was right then that the elevator turned back on and the doors opened revealing the rest of AFI and nearly the whole hotel staff. "God Jade, talk about a Pda. Now everyone knows about your new girlfriend!" shouted Davey. Jade stood and helped me up. He then said, "What? She's not my girlfriend..." He says that yet he held your hand the entire time he explained what happened.

"Jade, I really better get going. I need to go home and take care of insurance and bills and I need to go back to my job but I promise you I'll try to keep in touch okay?" you said as you grabbed Geiger and Schilling. As you walked out of the hotel, Schilling said, "Wow, to think we met AFI and befriended them all in one night. Jade is a nice guy, Jesse. You should date him."

"What? What are you talking about I'm way too young for him plus he only thinks of me as 'family'." You said as you all crossed the street. "Our little girl dating? I don't know...I think we might need to step up and look into this Jade guy and make sure he's worthy for our little Jess," snickers Geiger. You pout and scream, "Oh guys, would you shut up already? I hate it when you treat me like a kid. I'm 20 years old, damnit!"

You all laughed as you finally made your way towards home even though you had to walk.

You came home to an empty and quiet house. "Wow, none of us have been here for awhile. It's just how we left it," you paused, "A shithole."

You all walked in and sat on the couch and watched a little bit of TV. Then that's when Geiger and Schilling decided to invite some old friends over. The next thing you knew was everyone was stoned, including yourself. You were so hazed that you didn't even care that you were making out with someone who is practically your brother. That's right. Geiger. You had your legs around him as he had you pinned against the wall. He had his hair in his face so you couldn't really identify him instantly. He was just so good as he chewed your upper lip and you nibbled on his the same way. He had you so you were so comfortable in his arms that you were easily taken advantage of. He lightly brushed you face with his hand as he started kissing your neck. He then put his hand behind your neck to keep you up but instead that just made you more unbalanced so he just laid you on the couch. He started to unzip your pants but you mumbled to try and keep him off. Geiger looked up at you sadly but you shoved him off of you and ran up to the bathroom. "What have I done?" you say as you look into the mirror to see your smeared makeup and hickeys on your neck. "How am I going to explain this to Jade?" You opened the cabinet and grabbed a large bottle of pills. "It's not like he's my boyfriend...Like that would ever happen," you say before slipping a handful of pills down your throat.

It took a few minutes of walking before the pills kicked in. Your vision started to blur as you were nearing the steps. You slipped and fell down them but there were only 5 steps and they were carpeted. But you had cut your head on the railing but you were feeling numb so you weren't in shock. You pulled yourself down the hallway and propped yourself up against the wall as you lay in a pool of your own blood rushing from your head. You felt like concrete. You couldn't lift your arms or move your body. Your vision slipped as your head fell into the puddle of blood. You see blackening walls as you fall into an unconscious state.

Jade's point of view

All you can remember was that her face was pale and there was blood down the side of her face. You were trying to remember what she looked like when she was full of life and her eyes were always light. She had marks all over. "What had she done?" you asked aloud. "Jade, what are you doing here?" screamed a voice from behind you. It was Schilling. "I was coming to make sure you got home alright. I looked up your names in the phonebook to get an address. What the hell happened?"

She looked down and sighed, "Well, we kind of had a party and well she apparently was all over Geiger and she ran upstairs," she paused and pulled out a medicine bottle, "I found this empty upstairs. She must have overdosed."

You said, "So why are you still standing here? She needs to go to the hospital!"

She looked down at Jess and said quietly, "We can't afford to go the hospital..."

Jade opened his mouth to say something but nothing came out except, "Come on. We're going. I'll pay for everything as long as she gets better."

You and Schilling were waiting in the waiting room. None of you knew where Geiger was but Schilling said that he was a private person and never showed up when things happened. "He is always blank but there's something about his eyes that always showed that he has gotten hurt. His blue eyes are so cold and shadowed. But he seems so happy most of the time. Who he is, is something even I don't know."

You later found out that Jesse had suffered minor concussion and would have to stay in the hospital for a few short days. You visited her occasionally. You would always fill each other in on what had happened during the week.

"Yesterday, Geiger came to see me. We talked about a lot," she paused, "I guess there something between us now...ever since that night. I guess it could work and I'm willing to give it a try. I get so out of the whole dating system after awhile of being single...Hey are you okay?" she asked as she noticed you frowning. "What? You're dating him?" She nodded but made a face of confusion of why you were freaking out so much. "I can't believe this..."

"Why is it such a big deal that I'm actually dating someone? I'm not a kid, you know? Maybe I shouldn't have told you at all!" She yelled. You yelled in frustration before walking out of the room. "Why am I so mad about this? It's not like I like her or anything! She's too young!" You screamed when you got outside. "Keep telling yourself that but I know how you really feel," said Davey as he came up from behind you. Jade turned around and looked at him. "Is it that obvious?"

"Just a little but I can mainly tell from your eyes. You really light up when you look at her and she makes you laugh. What more can you ask for? Hey, maybe you might even end up with her someday."

You sighed and said, "Yeah right. Not as long as she's with Geiger. But whatever, I need to get out alone for a while. I'm just really frustrated."

Davey looked up and said, "Don't do something stupid that you'll regret later."


	4. Good girls lie through their teeth

Back to normal view

You looked the sky as you walked out of the hospital. You were deep in thought. Maybe you were a little too harsh for yelling at Jade but you didn't understand why he was so angry about it. Even though Geiger was nothing but a brother to you, you knew you wouldn't be able to ever be with him. So you took what you got. Geiger was all you had.

You walked up to Geiger as he waited fro you on the sidewalk. "Hey," he said as he kissed you on the cheek. Your eyes hit the ground but you didn't let him see that you were objecting. "How are you feeling?" he continued. "I'm feeling a lot better but I think I might want to return home for rest later." You lied. You weren't feeling tired at all. You wanted to go home and soothe your emotional complication. But Geiger couldn't know that you didn't want to be with him. You relentlessly gave in.

"Do you want to go to lunch? I can take you anywhere you'd like."

You looked up and said, "I don't care where we go. Take me anywhere."

He grabbed your waist and walked you to the car and opened the door for you as you drove to the restaurant. You sat on the outside tables and ordered as you casually talked. You held hands over the table as people unwillingly passed by you.

You then stood up and told Geiger you were going to go to the bathroom. You bent down and kissed him lightly on the lips as you turned to leave. You then looked up and saw Jade standing with a group of girls. His eyes were dull and distant, and he looked at you like you were invisible. He saw right through you. The group of girls were skimpily dressed and you understood his intentions. You felt a pang in your chest as you turned around to leave. You felt your eyes well up and you ran before anyone could see.

In the bathroom, you screamed at the mirror. "What's wrong with me? Why do I feel so horrible? I just fucking met him!"

You then broke down and cried as you thought of everything he's doing. "Why does he hate me? I didn't do anything. I don't want him to look at me that way..."

You then got up and washed your face. Your eyes were swollen. How were you going to explain this to Geiger?

You walked out and kissed him strong and hard this time. It took him by surprise. You needed to get over Jade. You were out of his league and you needed to convince yourself you were.

You pulled away and sat down as the waitress gave you your food. You sat across from him and stared into his blue eyes. "You have really sensitive eyes. I like them."

Fast Forward A Few months

AFI left for recording their new album a few weeks ago and you're starting to move on. You and Geiger are going pretty strong and everything seems to be coming into place. Or so you thought.

You were dreaming. You could hear his voice saying, "I love you, and this is why I'm sending you away...but you mean more to me than anything. I don't want you to leave either but you have to," he paused and pulled out a guitar pick, "Here. Keep this with you always. It doesn't matter if I die someday; I'm always with you. You may not know it now but I'm here for you even if you hurt me."

You looked down at your shoes and asked, "Why are you saying this to me? What did I do for you?"

He smiled warmly and said, "You set me off to follow my dream. I want to help people. Someday I was hoping my music would help make people realize how genuine the life of a child is. And I want you to have the chance to live like a child should. Every child has someone who loves them."

Reality

You woke up and looked around. You couldn't get back to sleep so you decided to take a midnight walk. You started to walk downtown as you past the nightclubs and bars. You shivered as the night air-cooled your skin as you walked past an alley. You heard a gagging sound as you saw a shadow trip and fall onto a garbage can. There was a loud clatter as the cans hit the ground.

You walked and hid behind a corner so you could spy and see what was going on. You then realized that the figure was Jade! You ran over to him and saw that he was lying on the ground. Drunk, you assumed. "Jade, are you okay? Look at yourself! Why are you doing this?"

He mumbled a bit and tried to get up but kept falling. You said everything you can to convince him to stay down so he wouldn't pass out. He then stood and slurred, "Why do you care...? You're just some kid I found...somewhere..."

You stood up and yelled, "Jade, I'm here because I care, okay? I'm not here as a kid from a show; I'm here as your friend! I love you!"

"You're not my friend...you hurt me so bad...you don't' love me...I don't deserve your love...I didn't even tell you how I felt..."

You looked at him confused as he continued; "Everything was great when we were friends. I got mad about Geiger because I liked you but I know you didn't have a clue. I still do like you but I'm holding back because I'm scared and it's depressing me. Why would you love someone like me? I'm a loser without a backbone..." You swallowed as you tried to take it all in. You then said, "Every child has someone who loves them."

His eyes widened as he remembered how he'd said it 14 years ago. "It's you? But...how? I had the feeling it was you but why? How was it that fate let us find each other? It wasn't supposed to be a happy ending...I thought I wouldn't see you again," he cried out and sobbed as you took his hand and sat by his side. You inhaled his scent as you wrapped you arms around him lay your head on his shoulder and said, "I love you. You deserve everything and more. I know the real you. The one with no secrets. Tell me everything from the beginning to the end of time.

"This is all so sudden for me, you'll have to excuse me if I seem nervous or something. But I feel some connection with you, Jade. I don't truly know the answer to whether I really do love you or I just really like you. What is this all going to mean when we wake up tomorrow?"

You looked down at the ground and so did he. He sighed. You put your hand on his shoulder and said, "I didn't know I meant this much to you. I didn't think you'd be so upset about it because I thought it would be better for me not to try for your heart if I was just going to get hurt. My heart is damaged just like everyone else's."

He nodded and smiled at you. His tears were wiped away and he stood up, appearingly sober now after your long conversation. "Jade, I waited so long questioning my faithfulness to Geiger. I only love him as a brother but he's so secretive...I can't bring myself to hurt him." You wrapped your arm in his and continued walking down the street.

"Eh, I don't remember where my car is..." he said as you led him towards your house. "I know this seems weird but until you remember where your car is, you're staying at my house."

You pulled him up the stairs and laughed as he stumbled up silently. As you got into your room, you told him he'd have to stay on the couch. He laughed and tried to put up a fight but you overcame him. You sat cross-legged on your bed as you two shared secrets of everything you didn't know about each other.

"Virgin?" You asked, when it started to get quiet.

"No. I didn't want to be the next 40-year-old virgin. What about you?"

"Eh...no?"

"Liar, are you serious? You're a virgin, aren't you? Oh I can't believe this!"

You stood up on your bed and yelled, "Shut up! It's not funny!"

He covered up his laughs with his hands and spat out, "Dude, I lost my virginity when I was in high school!"

You jumped off the bed, and yelled, "It's different for guys, you know? It actually hurts for us. It's not a matter of simply 'screwing', it does a whole lot more on our side of it." You shuddered.

"Oh you mean, it pops the..." He trailed off as you interrupted him.

"Shut up already! God, this is the last thing I wanted to talk about with you!"

He lifted his finger up and said, "You started the conversation though."

"So what? Now I'm ending it!" you said and smacked him on the back of the head. He giggled girlishly and said, "Okay...new topic. Favorite sad song?"

You stopped to think about it. Hmm. "Um, I think the best sad song is "Tonight I want to cry" by Keith Urban.

"I don't think I've heard but maybe you can sing the chorus for me and maybe I'll know it."

You sat up on your bed as you remembered the words, "And I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show, and I thought that being strong meant never losing your self-control, but I'm just drunk enough, to let go my pain, to hell with my pride, let it fall like rain from my eyes, tonight I want to cry."

He smiled and said, "I like it. Those are pretty powerful words."

You nod. "Yeah, I listen to that song when I'm feeling sad."

He frowned, "When do you feel sad?"

"A lot more than you'd think." You said sadly. "Oh yeah, with the overdosing. I meant to say if you do that ever again, I will seriously kill you. Or worse."

You sighed and changed the subject. "What am I going to do when you're gone on tour? I'm not going to survive without your bed head every morning!"

He stopped. He most likely didn't think about that side of it. "Hey, how'd you know about my bed head?"

You swallowed. "Internet."

"Stalker." He smirked. But really, what would you do if he left?

"Hey Jess, I think there's something I should ask you...will you go on tour with us? I know it's sudden and you'd have to leave your roommates here but I'd love it if you came with us. You'd meet a lot of new people and it'd be great to get away for awhile," he spat out all at once.

You stopped to think about it for a few minutes before saying, "I need more time to think. I want to go but I'd have to talk to Schilling and Geiger before I agree to anything. I'm not sure if they'd manage without me for a few months." Jade nodded in understanding. You then lay down and stared at the ceiling for a while before falling to sleep.

You woke up the next morning to Schilling and Geiger arguing over something. You moaned and turned over and put your feet on the floor. You rubbed your eyes and stood up and walked downstairs to see Schilling screaming at Geiger. There was broken glass on the floor.

"You idiot! I am so fucking sick of this! You always do this! Break one more of my great aunts vases and I will seriously kick you out because as of now, I have that authority!" she spat all at once as you held your head from how loud she was and it was only 7 in the morning. "Whatever happened to peace and quiet? And since when did you have the authority to kick him out? I'm the supplier and I'm not going anywhere."

She gaped because she didn't hear you come down. "Oh hey, Jess. I overheard what you were saying to Jade last night so I assumed..."

"What? You heard that?" You stared as she grabbed your arm and pulled you into the kitchen. "Yes, I heard. Geiger doesn't know yet. You might want to fill him in before he gets suspicious. Is Jade still sleeping?" You nodded and said, "Is it okay with you? I want to go...and I want you to go with me."

She shook her head in disbelief, "Why do you want me to go? I have no reason. I know about you and Jade. It doesn't take a genius to know that. But I don't think it'd be right if I went and left Geiger here."

You sighed and walked out of the kitchen. "Hey babe, did you sleep good last night?" said Geiger as he came up from behind and put his arms around your waist and kissed you on the lips. "I slept like a log to be dead on. I went on a walk last night and I ran into Jade so I figured he could just stay here. I let him sleep on the couch." Geiger made a face like he knew that would happen but he put it off and smiled. "Well that's nice. What'd you all do for the rest of the night? I heard you screaming at him."

"Oh haha, yeah. I was yelling at him because he was being mean to me because I'm a virgin."

"You're a virgin?" He smirked. "Not again!" you yelled as you pouted your lip at him, "I can't help it."

You then heard footsteps as you turned to see Jade walking down the steps, his hair all messy. You smiled to yourself and said, "Good morning, sunshine. You look like shit. What'd you do last night?"

He groaned and said, "I'm never drinking again...got any cheese bagels?" You laughed and said, "I somehow knew you'd say something like that. That's why I bought some yesterday!" Jade jumped up and made this high-pitched "eeeee" noise. You shook your head smiling as you turned around and looked at Geiger. He looked agitated as you gently grabbed his hand to reassure him. Jade noticed this as he walked out of the kitchen with a plate in hand. You saw a sad look in his eyes but he knew that you weren't going to leave Geiger quite yet. You were going to act like nothing happened and then when you left for the tour, and then when you came back you'd tell him you thought of him only as a brother. And that you knew that he thought the same thing but was trying to make it work just to see if it would. It almost did.

A few weeks later you pulled Geiger to the side to tell him you wanted to go with Jade on Warped tour. "But why? When will you be back?" he asked. "I'll be back in a month. I don't want you to feel tied down so while I go on tour, I think we should take a break. It'd be easier and no one would cheat accidentally." He sighed. "But a month is so long. How am I going to survive being without you for that long? You lighten everything up here. It'd be a depressing month." You smiled sympathetically and said, "I know but I think you'll manage. I'll be leaving in 3 days. I better get packing soon." He nodded and left you to pack.

As you went upstairs into your room, you grabbed a pile of clothing and laid it down on the bed. You packed 2 pairs of tight blue jeans, A from first to last Teeshirt, your favorite long sleeved fitted hoodie just in case, 4 pairs of dickies pants/shorts, a pair of black and pink converse, and a bunch of shirts and tank tops. This was going to be a long month.

Three days later you woke up at 9 and met with Jade who drove you to where the bus was. It was the largest tour bus you'd ever seen. "How many people have you crammed in there?" you asked worriedly. He made a face and said, "about 28. And that includes the back room and the couches." You sighed and walked up into the bus to meet the manager. "Jess, this is Smith. He's our manager and my brother, sadly." Smith punched Jade in the arm as they headed back to claim a bunk. "I call top bunk!" You yelled as you ran to the end and jump up only to hit your head on the ceiling. "Jess are you okay?" asked Jade as you lied on the ground, your head throbbing from the impact. "Owwww...You didn't tell me there was like zero space in those bunks."

"My bad."

And on with our amazing tour journey.


	5. Painting and Warped Tour

You've been on the road for hours staring out the window and searching for something interesting.

"I'm so bored!" you yell as you walk around the bus. You walk past Jade's bunk and check in to see that he is sleeping peacefully with his hand over the edge. You smile and walk down 3 bunks to your own bunk. You climb up and sit against the side of it and grab your notebook from underneath your pillow and begin drawing some pictures. You are hoping that maybe, just maybe, someone will pay you to draw them, thus leading on your cartooning career.

You started drawing an anime of Jade smiling lovingly at a mirror with a reflection of you. When you finished up, you grabbed some colored pencils and started doing some shading. Then you started on another picture. This time, it was of Jade sleeping peacefully. You then decided to draw some freestyle. You drew some pictures of people you never knew, but felt like drawing. As you ended your last few sketches you heard a voice from behind your curtain. "Hey, what are you drawing?" said Davey as he hopped up and sat next to you. "Oh, wow those are really good. Are you considering selling them?"

You nod but then say, "Well, I plan to sell some but not these ones," you then start to hide all the Jade ones. "You really like him, don't you?" he smiled warmly then said, "Well, that's good to know. Now he has someone to play pattycake with him at night!" You laughed and then he continued talking, "Yeah, I would've been hitting on you earlier if Jade wasn't so finicky about his picks. I just wanted to be friendly, is what I said." You then scooted away from him. "I was just kidding. I'm thinking of finding myself someone to settle down with this coming year. It gets lonely being on tour, you know?"

"What? Davey doesn't score? There'd be tons of chicks who would sleep with you!"

He frowned and said, "It's not cool to sleep with random people. It takes the excitement out of it all. Hey, you have that roommate Schilling, right? She looks like my type..." You then replied instantly, "Wow, hands off. If you are going to meet someone special it is NOT going to be through me. Just wait, I bet you'll meet a girl when you reach warped tour."

He sighed and said, "Fine, but if you're wrong, I'm so going to get you back for it. And I don't mean verbally."

You shuddered as you put away your drawings and stepped down from bunk. You had forgot it was the top bunk so you slipped. You then felt someone's hands around your waist. You looked up and said, "Thanks Davey. I owe you."

"Hell yeah, you do," he laughed and put you down and signaled for you to follow him to the back of the bus.

"Man, Jade is crashed. Oh well, I guess that just means you're spending the day with good old David."

You laughed and sat down on a red leather couch. He sat on the one across from you. "So tell me," he started, "What are you really like? I haven't personally gotten to know you other than Jade's obsession. What do you like to do?"

God he never stops talking. You laugh and answer, "Well, I really love singing and I like to draw a lot. I'm kind of small so people use me as an easy target and most people thinks it's awesome. I hear guys like petite girls. It makes them feel stronger. Um, I'm pretty playful and I can be pretty funny at times but when I'm serious, it's kind of weird. It's like I have a split personality. I'll be all avoidant one day and the next I'm up with everyone and having a blast. It's how I am sometimes."

Davey nodded in some understanding. "Interesting," he said, "now I see why he likes you. It makes him feel like he can protect you and he can have a great flirtatious conversation as well."

You stood up in disagreement and yell, "I am not flirtatious!"

He just shook his head and said, "Denial. Have you seen how you guys act. Oblivious much? Yet stubborn as they come."

You sat back down in defeat and asked, "Have you ever considered being a therapist? You sure watch over me and Jade a lot. You're like an older brother."

He smiled widely and said, "I feel like that sometimes. Even though Jade is older than me and is usually more responsible than me, he can do some stupid things he regrets. I am just the guy that says, "I told you so"."

You smiled. "Cute," you say as you get up to play video games for the rest of the trip.

When you get there, you decide to change your clothes due to the extreme temperature change. You put on a black spaghetti strap with metal rings on the sides and then a pair of dickies knee length shorts on as you put on your sunglasses and walk outside. You might as well look around.

As you start to walk around, you notice there are hundreds of booths of pretty much everything. But as you continue walking, one booth catches your eye. You notice several paintings of members of nearly every band on warped. "Excuse me can I help you?" says a girl who looked about 18 or 19 years old. She had long dark brown hair with and an almond shaped face. "Um, are you the girl who painted these?" She nods which surprises you because she seems so young. "Wow, these are incredible. If I had money I would buy them in a heartbeat." She smiles from the compliment but frowns when she finds you can't buy them. "My mom is suffering from lung cancer. I'm selling these so I can raise money for our hospital bills. Plus I'm trying to raise money for better researching for cancer patients." You then say, "Oh, I'm sorry to hear about your mother. That's a pretty good plan you've got there. I know some guys who might want to take a look at these but I'd have to go get them. Do you know the band AFI?" Her jaw drops and she nods. "Well, I came here with them and I'm almost certain they'd buy you out."

You turn to go get them when she grabs you by the shoulder. "Can I come with you? No one has been coming to my booth anyways so I can probably just close it down for now. d..do you know...Davey Havok?" she asked shyly. You smiled and nodded. "Would you like to meet him?" She nodded excitedly and ran to close down her booth and then met up with you as the two of you started walking. "My name is Emily." She said. "Jess. Nice to meet you. I liked your paintings. I was considering selling my drawings here but I don't think anyone would like them."

"I bet I would like them. I'm pretty good at drawing too but it's the only thing I'm good at other than singing, which I'm okay at. But I'm not the best." You smiled. She was so pretty. She had warm brown eyes and a delicate face that was naturally beautiful without much makeup. Her lips looked soft and they were pouty looking and had a pink glow to them. She was really thin and had beautiful curves. You knew Davey would like her. The only thing was that she was really shy. You wondered how things would go.

One thing you noticed was that you and Emily were like twins. You had nearly everything in common. It was great "How long have you liked AFI?" you asked as you entered the tour bus. "About 4 years now. I've liked them since I was 15. I'm 19 years old now. I've always wanted to meet Davey. But I know I'm too young to ever have anything more than meeting." You laughed and said, "Trust me, I doubt he'd freak about age."

As you entered the bus, she piped up and wasn't talking much as you walked to the end of the bus where Davey was having a huge video game match with Adam. "Hey guys, I want you to meet someone," you said as you stepped aside revealing Emily with her legs turned in and with her hands behind her from being nervous. The room got quiet and you could hear the sound of crashing from the video game. Blink. Blink. Awkward silence. You spoke up. "Um, yeah, her name is Emily. I met her at one of the booths she had set up. She has all these wonderful paintings of bands and I was thinking you could maybe buy some because her mom has cancer and they need the money."

Davey stood. "Sure, show me where it is. But first," he walked up to Emily, who was awestruck, "My name is Davey. It is a pleasure to meet you." He stuck his hand out and Emily slowly reached out but he snatched her hand and pulled her into a hug. She was blushing like mad. "Loosen up, sweetheart. We don't bite...much." He then walked up to front and we willingly followed him outside. "Oh my god," was all Emily could say after her first encounter with Davey. "Was that real or was I dreaming?" she asked. You then heard of voice coming from behind you guys. "Babe, I do believe that was real and so was this," and Davey came from behind her and kissed her on the cheek. She kind of stopped and was stunned. "Davey, knock it off, you're going to give her a hard attack!" you laughed.

As you reached the booth, you noticed that a few of her painting had been stolen. "Sigh, this isn't the first time this has happened." She said as she collected the few left. Davey walked up and said, "I'm sorry that happened. I'm willing to buy the rest of them. Give me your price." She screamed and hugged him then pulled away after she realized what she did. "Um, yeah...they're 5 bucks a painting and there are 10 left."

"You need to raise those prices. These are quality paintings."

"Oh no, just the 50 dollars alone would be fine..."

"150 dollars it is." He said as he pulled out his checkbook and handed her a check. She was too shocked to say anything. "Thank you," was all she could spit out. "It's no problem, really. Consider it a gift."

As soon as we hauled all the painting to the bus, Jade was awake and had asked, "What'd I miss?" We laughed and told him everything about Emily and all that Davey did to make her nervous. "Hm, maybe this time Davey will actually settle down." Jade had said. "I'm pretty sure he will. I talked to him earlier since you were asleep and he told me everything." Jade sighed and complained, "Why do I always miss the fun stuff?"

You pouted your lip and then said, "Because you suck."

Jade then faked a shocked expression on his face and said in a really girly voice, "Fine. If that's the way it going to be, then I just won't talk to you this entire trip. No more Jade love for you! Hmph."

"Well fine. No more Jess love for you." You said while Jade fake cried the whole time you said that. "Was it the sex? I'll stimulate you more next time, I promise! Don't leave me; I get so lonely!"

"You bum." You said and smacked him on the head as you walked to the back of the bus to eat lunch with Davey and Emily. Emily was actually starting to get used to Davey hanging all over her even though it was still a shock for her that she even got to meet him. But as good as our day went, nothing turned out as good as the concert that night.


	6. Butterflies need Medical Attention

You were just preparing to go see AFI. You were rushing while putting on your eyeliner but you managed to put it on just perfectly. You put on some black mascara, which completely brightened your face up. You had picked out a black tank top and put a ripped white half shirt over it. You then picked a pair of tight dark blue jeans. You grabbed your converse and quickly slipped them on as you ran towards the stage to meet Jade in back. He said he wanted to talk to you privately before the show.

As you approached the guards, they eyed you suspiciously as you showed them your ID badge. They shook their heads at you and handed it back to you as they relentlessly let you in. You saw Jade right away standing by a guitar rack filled with cords. "Jade!" you yelled as you tried to get his attention. He looked up and smiled and signaled for you to come over. As you approached him, you noticed his clothes immediately. He was wearing an all white suit. You took great notice to how tight his pants were and for a second you found yourself staring. "Jess, are you listening?" he asked wearily.

"Yeah...what'd you say?"

"Pfft. I said, you looked amazing. Me and the band thought it'd be a good idea if you and Emily sang the "I will wait for you" part of Endlessly, she said. It'd make more sense if a girl sang it, ya know? I think it'd be great since both of you guys aren't used to singing publicly. It'd be a new experience"

You stood there with your jaw dropped. "No, I can't do that! Not in front of all those people! The only reason I can do it at all is because I'm in front of you!" you screamed. You started hyperventilating. "I'm going to die. I'm going to get freaking slaughtered," You said over and over until Jade grabbed you by the shoulders and said, "No you're not! You're going to sing great! If you get scared, just keep your eyes on me! I promise you I won't be taking them off you." You looked at the ground then back at him. "Thanks Jade. I'll try. Now teach me what I have to sing."

He smiled and did exactly that. Then he went over it with you and Emily. You figured out that after Davey sang "Though in time they finally bent every word" the first time that you would sing "I will wait for you" loudly and you'd hold the ending note until Davey sang "She said" then Emily would sing would sing with Davey on the second "She said" after you sing it the second time through. Then you alone would have to sing the part after Jade's solo.

After moments of arguing your parts you finally put your foot down and claimed yours. Emily would not sing alone. She utterly refused which left you doing a solo. You sighed and practiced quietly to yourself as Jade approached you from behind. "Jess, I'm really proud that you're doing this. I really want you to be confident. Is there anything I can do to boost it up?" he said. He was so close to your face when he said it, you could already feel his lips on yours. You looked at the ground and he backed off but before he walked away, you turned him around and kissed him straight up on the lips. It took him by surprise so he had his hands in the air but he slowly lowered them and put them on your hips. The kiss was everything you thought it would be. Soft and gentle. You could feel him breathing as you lifted your arms and put them around his neck. He smiled as he pulled away and looked up at you shyly. "I don't know if that boosted your confidence but it sure boosted mine!" he said as he grinned widely. "5 minutes before you're on!" you heard someone scream at Jade. "Well, looks like you have to go. Which song do I go up on?" you sighed.

"Um, you go on the 5th song. It's called "Endlessly, she said" and you get up there just as we finish Rabbits are Roadkill on route 37, okay? Just get a mic from our roadie and run up and stand on the amp. Kind of do a wave to the crowd as if you're famous and in a band. But keep your eyes on me. Okay?" He said and grabbed your shoulders and kissed you lightly before he ran and strapped his guitar on. He gave you thumbs up before running onstage. You walked up to Emily and asked, "Are you nervous?"

She nodded and said, "Just a little bit but not really. I have Davey singing with me and that gives me a little bit of confidence. I can't believe I get to do this at all. I just met them today and already they're putting me onstage? I feel lucky."

She smirked at you then said, "I saw you and Jade back there. How long have you been together?"

"Oh, we're not together. I don't think we are at least. That was the first time I ever did that. I don't know where it came from. I thought we were just going to play it cool but I don't know. I have to ask him that after the show." You answered.

She smiled and looked onstage as Davey and Jade switched off on "the interview".

"I'll grow pale...without you." They both ended as the song stopped.

You were up next after this song. You took a deep breath as you watched Jade sing, along with Davey's impetuous screams. You were in awe as you watched Jade's incredible guitar rifts. Then the song ended.

You then ran up on stage with Emily as you grabbed your mics and ran to the amps. You looked at the crowd with a sudden burst of energy as you waved and did your bow as Davey introduced you and Emily. You took a deep breath. You looked up at Jade who was watching you like he promised. You breathed in.

"Walked into our world and made horrible sounds. I can still hear them today. Strangely, they seem beautiful now though they outlast my love. Still, each time I always meant every word, every one. Though, in time they finally bent every word, every one"

"I will wait for you,"

"she said, endlessly," Voices echoed back.

"I will wait for you,"

"She spoke misery,"

It repeated like that twice before a guitar solo busted out from Jade. You hopped around the stage and reached out to the crowd and tried to rev them up. Then the solo stopped and Davey sang "I will wait for you. I will wait for you. I will wait for you!"

"I will wait" then the whole crowd sang the next "I will wait" with you. The whole time you sang on parts, you never took your eyes off Jade. As the song finished up, you opened your eyes to see the audience in awe as they clapped and cheered. As you walked offstage passing Jade, you stuck your hand out and gave him a low five as you drifted into the corridor leading you to the water fountain.

You were still in shock while drinking. When you rose up from the water fountain, Emily noticed you were crying. "Why are you crying?"

You shook your head and smiled, "I've never ever done that in front of so many people. I can't believe it happened. It doesn't feel real!" You just started crying. "I don't know why I'm crying so much. I feel stupid but I'm so amazed and I just felt so free..." Emily shhh'd you and gave you a long hug. She continued to comfort you until you were at a state where you could control yourself.

As you waited for the concert to be over, you tried to collect your thoughts about you and Jade. What was going to happen after this concert? You continued to tell yourself that you would not pull away like you always do. You hated it. Every time someone tried to get close to you, you left them because you're scared. There's always these doubts that come along and convince you that you're better of alone even though you're dying inside. You sighed and leaned back in your chair as you waited.

"Hey," you heard a voice from behind you and turned around to see a sweaty Jade with a guitar on his back. "Hey," you said you stood up. "I would hug you right now but I'm all sweaty," he said laughing. You giggled (yes giggled) and put your arms around him anyways. He smiled and put his arms around you and on your lower back. You just kind of stayed like that until you heard a voice say, "Yeah, just forget I'm here! God, you two." Emily rolled her eyes and smiled as she walked out of the room to search for Davey, you presumed. "Oops," Jade laughed out as you both started laughing. "So Jade, what does this all mean?"

He stared up at the ceiling then said, "Um, I don't know. What would you like it to mean?"

"Well, I want it to be something but if you're just palling around then I don't want o even bother."

He sighed and said, "I really want it to be something to but I'm not sure it's right to move too fast. I've known you for a few months now but I really haven't gotten to know the you I want to know. I want to know everything but that's more than I deserve."

You smiled and looked up at him. "My last name is Hansen. My favorite color is green. My favorite make out song is light sleeper by Hawthorne Heights. Not sure you can call it a make out song but I love it. I'm a fake redhead and my natural color is dark brown. I have two pet peeve movies. High School musical and Raise your voice. I love being teased when it comes to kisses. And kinkiness isn't all bad in some aspects. Oh and I secretly listen to song in Japanese so I can sing along." You smiled as you ended.

"Hmm," was all he said before licking his lips a little.

"Hey you guys, come on. We need to get to the bus unless you want a little more private time," yelled Hunter. "I want to take you somewhere first. Follow me," he said as he grabbed my hand and pulled me up a flight of stairs leading to the roof. When you reached the roof, he grabbed your hands and said, "You may not know it now but I'm here for you even if you hurt me."

You blinked and said; "You said that to me 14 years ago,"

"And it still hasn't lost his value. I mean it. Why do you think I'm still here? Let's go up and sit on the edge. We could look at the moon like old days."

You smiled as he put his arm around you and kept you close to him. You laid your head on his chest as you both looked into the sky while hearing soft music from the bands in the background. You shut your eyes and prayed this wasn't a dream. For a few seconds, you were truly happy. Nothing could overcome this feeling of being wanted and accepted. You closed your eyes and felt his warmth as you drifted in to a sleeping state.

What? You fell asleep? You woke up and looked around to find yourself in your bunk and dressed in pajamas. "W..what?" was all you could say as you heard the sound of rustling from someone waking up. You lowered your head outside of your bunk as you turned around to see Adam getting out of his bunk 2 beds down. You quickly got up and jumped out and screamed, "What happened last night?"

He covered his ears and glared at you before answering, "Damn, it's only 8 o clock. Tone it down a bit before you wake everyone up. What do you mean what happened last night?"

You smacked him on the arm and said, "You know what I mean! What did we do last night?"

He sighed and said, "You sung in front of everyone and then you and Jade disappeared somewhere and he came back with you sleeping in his arms. He changed you into some more comfortable clothes,"

You stood back and said, "So that was all real...he changed me? What the hell?"

Adam laughed and signaled for you to quiet down before whispering, "It's not like he took advantage of you or anything. He just took off you pants and put you in some sweats. Then he just put one of his teeshirts over you. Nothing to freak over."

You sighed. Then Adam said, "Now if you'll excuse me, I only woke up so I can go take a piss." He said as he bumped past you. You moaned and went back to your bed but not before visiting Jade's bunk. You looked in only to find him lying on his side breathing peacefully. You pulled yourself up and sat on the edge and bent over him and kissed him lightly on the lips. You smiled and hopped down and started towards the door. Since no one was awake, you figured you'd take a shower since you wouldn't have time to later. You grabbed a robe and some bathroom stuff before walking across the gravel in bare feet.

The bathrooms were empty like you assumed so you took a shower. As you walked back to the bus in your robe, you walked quietly to make sure no one would get up. You walked into the bathroom and grabbed a towel to dry your hair. As you pulled the towel off your head, you heard a creak. You swiftly turned around and saw Jade right in front of you. "Ahhh!" you screamed as you slipped and fell into him. You both then were on the floor moaning as you landed hard on the floor. "God, I didn't think I'd scare you that bad." He smiled as he helped you up. "Thanks for the thought." You smirked back. "Sometimes I just wanna," you said and made a motion with your hands like you were snapping someone's neck.

He made a face and backed off. "Oh I see, is it that time of the month?"

You closed your eyes and raised your fist and said, "If there's one thing you never say to a girl, it's that because trust me you don't want to know about our periods. But if you're interested, I can give you the whole tour."

He shuddered and made sassy comments about how he didn't want to get cooties.

"Keep worrying about those cooties and I doubt you'll be in luck for the next few days," you said as you sat down on the couch and shook your hair once more. He smiled and walked over and sat down next to you. Davey walked in and sat at the ps2 and turned it on. You ignored him. "I look like shit," you muttered.

He smiled and said, "Baby you're beautiful," And kissed your cheek.

"Suck up," you mutter while smiling.

"It's working isn't it?" He smirked while you stuck your tongue out at him. "Sometimes I just want to hate you so bad but I can't."

"You got that from a song."

"Damn you."

You smiled and laid back and got comfortable. "Your hair smells so good, I could just eat it."

"Passion fruit smoothie, hun," you say.

"Oh God, you two! Wait until I'm out of the room!" screamed Davey as he stood up and turned the ps2 off. "Man, it's so not worth playing when all I can hear is the two of you acting like a couple!" He shrilled. He then twitched several times and gagged in disgust as he walked out of the room.

"What a drama queen," says Jade.

"Maybe he's jealous. He wants to settle down too."

He looked at you funny. "Really? I never knew that."

"I talked to him the other day. Maybe he's thinking about Emily."

Jade raised an eyebrow and said, "Since when did you and Davey bond? God, what the hell did I miss when I fell asleep?"

You snickered a little before getting up to start your day.

You sighed and got dressed and walked outside on the arm of your new 'boyfriend'. It felt so weird calling him that but you didn't know what else to call him. You were both wearing sweet sunglasses. You were rocking the aviators. Heck yes!

As you walked around the hundreds of merch booths, you noticed tons of different people. A group of girls all in black approached you and asked, "Are you the girl who sung with AFI last night?" You lifted your sunglasses to question whether they were fans or haters but you nodded either way. "We just wanted to say that we thought you did really great. Ignore anyone who says anything else, they're all jealous."

You smiled at them and said "thanks" but then they asked who was with you. "Um, this is my 'best friend' Jade!" They smiled when he took off his sunglasses. "Wow, I don't want to seem like some freaky fan girl but can I have a picture with you?" asked one of the girls. Jade smiled and said, "Of course I will. Anything for someone as polite as you girls." He agreed and too pictures with all of them and we waved goodbye as we continued walking.

"Wow, those were really nice fans," You said. Jade nodded but said, "I wish all of them were like that. There were some girls last night that wanted to slaughter you when I carried you home. I had to run from them! They tried to take my socks!" He cried in a threatened voice as he reenacted what happened. You slapped him on the arm and yelled, "Jade shut up, you're making a scene!"

You turned him around to see all the people staring. He made a chuckle and walked away really fast. "Wait for me!" you said as you ran after him but tripped on a rock and scraped your knee. "Jess, are you okay?" Jade called as he ran up to you. You lifted up your knee, which was covered in blood. "I'm fine...wow I must've looked pretty stupid doing that." You laughed. He looked at you funny and asked, "Do you always laugh when you get hurt?"

You smiled and said, "Most of the time. It's funny when you think about how you looked when you fell. But yeah, I can't bend my leg,"

He then lifted you up and said, "We better find you something so you can clean it off so it won't get infected."

You walked until you reached a first aid booth where it started dripping. "Oh crap. Hmm, maybe if I do this," you said before licking your knee. "Oh stop that, Jess! You're scaring the non-vamps!" Jade laughed as he came back with some ointment tubes and bandages. He wiped your cut clean with some peroxide, which stung like hell. He then put some antibacterial cream on it before he wrapped it tightly with bandage. The nurse in charge looked at him and said, "I'm very impressed. It feels good to know that youth nowadays know proper medical procedures."

He smiled and said, "My mom was a wonderful lady. She taught me all I know."

"Wow, I'm shocked that you put so much effort into it. A Band-Aid would have been enough."

He shook his head in dismay and said, "No, a band-aid wouldn't work because you hit it hard enough so you could bend your leg and a band-aid wouldn't support your muscle."

You stared at him wide-eyed and said, "Wow, you sure know a lot of medical stuff."

He stuck his tongue out and said, "Lifeskills 101. My mom made me take home- ec 3 years in a row for middle school."

"Aw, that's sweet. I don't know but seeing you take care of my leg with all that precaution reminded me of how I always wished I had a dad that would dad that would take care of me like that." You sighed and looked at the ground. A sad look grew across his face as he put his arm around your shoulder and said, "Well, I'm sorry that you missed out on child hood but I promise you that I the future, if we're still together that I will be the best fatherly figure there ever was. I love kids! They're what make everything the way it is. Without kids, you wouldn't have adults."

You chuckled as you listened to his philosophy on children. He put his hand on your cheek. "You still have a child's face. I will always remember that. Yet you have the beautiful features of a developing young woman."

You blushed and said, "Stop it. You make me all nervous when you say that. Now you sound like a rapist!"

He made a mischievous face and made a deep cackle. "Don't even start with that." You laughed and walked away.

"Sigh, we really do act like a couple. Listen to us talk. It's like no one else is around. What the hell? We're not even trying!"

You made a shocked look and dipped your finger in some face paint as you passed the booth. You lifted up your now black finger and made a thick line across your right cheek.

"What'd you do that for?" asked Jade.

You looked at him then at the sky and said, "Wow, I don't know but it seemed funny."

He laughed and dipped his finger randomly in some pain and put a line across his face, except little did he know that the paint was bright pink. "Lookin sexy, Jade!" you coughed out before laughing unbearably. "What's so funny?" he asked looking around. You then got up and said, "It's nothing. Let's go get some food."

"Um, okay!" He didn't have to know right now. He'd figure it out eventually.


	7. So much inflicted pain to say goodbye

You smiled as you walked over to a building where they served food. You ordered your food before sitting down at a small picnic table. When your food was done, Jade walked up and took the tray and brought it back and set it down on the table in front of you. You smiled and grabbed a French fry and threw it at him. It landed in his hair. You laughed at his struggle to try to get it out. "Great, now my hair is all potato-ey." You laughed at his sad attempt to create a word. You ate most of your food and flung the extras at each other only making it so you both were covered in ketchup and pickles.

As you both got up to start walking, you asked, "What day is it?"

He looked around then said, "Um it's July 26 I think." You smiled and started jumping up and down. "My birthday is in 2 days!"

"Wow your birthday is coming up? Sweet! July 28...hey mine is November 28!"

You smiled and stuck your tongue out and said, "What 'cha gonna get me? Huh huh?"

He shook his head and looked at the sky. What was he going to get you?

You then both walked back to the bus. You were exhausted from walking around all day so you plopped on the couch in the back. "Where is Davey?" you asked.

"Um, I think he went with Emily to go give the money she made to her mom. He should be back by now, though."

Jade then walked into the bathroom to find that he had a pink line across his face. "Hey! Are you telling me I walked around like this that whole time?" You nodded as he washed his face.

"You suck," he said as he plopped down next to you. He turned you head so that you were facing him. You smiled as he playfully nuzzled your neck. You sighed in exhaustion and laid you head on his head.

"I'm assuming you guys had a rough day?" said Davey as he entered the bus with Emily at his side. They sat next to you.

"Emily is as pure as snow! She's never tried drugs, never had sex, and she's never made out with anyone! What is wrong with you?" screamed Davey.

"I'm sorry. I haven't gotten much experience. I mean I would LOVE to go out and do stuff but I just don't have time. "

Davey smirked and said, "Well trust me, I will guarantee that you will have a few firsts this week...hehe." She smiled utterly clueless.

Jade sat up and pointed out, "If you didn't get what he meant by that, let me clear it up. Unless you WANT to make out or do such things with Davey, I suggest you start to look at things cautiously but hey, be my guest."

She made a confused look. Jade just shook his head at Davey before saying, "God Davey, just take advantage of the poor girl!"

Davey sighed and said, "Well, she's just so innocent. I want to loosen her up a bit and maybe show her the other side of life."

Emily made a face before saying, "I'm right here and I can hear everything you're saying!"

"Yeah, we know."

You smiled and leaned back. "What should I do for my birthday, you guys?" you asked. Davey stood up and said, "Well since you're turning 21, I think we should do some special that will last forever! How about a tattoo or piercing?"

You smiled and said, "Wow I've always wanted to have my lip pierced! And maybe we can get me an AFI tattoo."

"Yeah, the piercing can be like an initiation and the tattoo can make it permanent!" screamed Davey before yelling to Jade, "We are SO going to do that! You think lip rings are hot, right?

He nodded and said, "I've never made out with a girl with a lip ring,"

Emily smiled and said, "Then this should be new experience for you then,"

He then smirked and said, "I said I never made out with a GIRL with a lip ring. I didn't mention anything about boys," while eying Davey.

You made a shocked look as you smacked him with a pillow. Emily had a weird look on her face like "I so had that coming,"

You sat around and shared laughs before falling asleep later that night.

The next few days nothing really happened. AFI played a few shows then and now but when your birthday came, you didn't know what to expect.

You woke up to Davey shaking you. "What?" you yelled at him. "Come on, get up. We have to hurry!" he said grabbing you and dragging you out of bed before you had any time to rub your eyes. You moaned as he continued dragging you to the back of the bus. "Get dressed," he said while throwing you a bag of clothes. "What's this," you say as you open the bag to see a pink pleated plaid mini skirt which was way shorter than you'd usually wear. There was also a black button up blouse. The buttons were the same color pink as the skirt. There was also a pink tie. "I wonder where they got the idea that I like pink," you asked aloud while you shook your head, "My favorite color is green. Oh well, pink works,"

After you got dressed into your new clothes, you walked outside only to see Jade, Hunter, Davey, Emily, and Adam all wearing the same themed outfits but all different colored. The guys had black button up shirts with the same colored buttons as their ties and wore tight black pants. Jade's tie was purple, Davey's tie was blue, Hunter's tie was green, and Adam's tie was red. You smiled as you laughed at their outfits. You walked up to Emily and saw she was wearing the same outfit as you only hers was light blue colored.

You snickered as you walked up to them and asked, "Who picked the skirts?"

They all looked at each other and pointed to Jade who was blushing red, while yelling, "They were the only skirts they had!"

You smiled and kissed him on the cheek and said, "They're nice either way,"

"So what are we doing first?" you asked.

"First of course, like we planned, we're going to make you get a tattoo and a lip ring. But I have a question. Do you want it in the middle or to the side?" asked Davey.

"Um, I don't know. I wanted a side one but I think the middle ring looks more appealing."

"Middle ring it is. Good choice though. It's nice either way," said Jade.

When you arrived at the parlor, you asked, "What AFI design am I getting?"

"The rabbit logo for the new album. You wouldn't mind getting it around your wrist, would you?" You shook your head. "Hell, do both wrists," you said. The guys smiled as they told the Tattoo guy. "Is she over 18?" They nodded and you sat down on the chair. All of the guys left and it was only you and Emily in the room as the tattoo guy prepared his tools.

You looked up at Emily and said, "If I cry, it's on your conscience," as you rested your wrist on the arm of the chair.

You watched as the large revolving needle moved closer and closer. You flinched barely as it touched your skin. After awhile, you started to not feel it and had a whole conversation with Emily as he did both arms. You stopped talking though as he went over the bone.

After he finished. He wrapped the large Band-Aid over your wrists. You stood up afterwards and walked into the entry room to show the guys you did fine.

"I'm so proud of you. I feel like a father after his 4 year old learns to ride a bike," said Jade as he kissed you on the lips. "Okay now for your lip ring. This part may not be so easy if you fear needles," said Davey. You sighed and sat in the chair yet again this time with Jade in the room. You watched thoroughly as the man sterilized the needles. You felt the nerve to ask, "Do you use numbing tactics or heated needles?"

The man said, "Neither. We do it the old fashioned way." You swallowed as he laughed and said, "No, just kidding. We use heated needles."

You smiled unevenly as he sat down and put his gloves on. You grabbed Jade's hand as the man lifted his needle and told you to keep your head straight and lean into the rest he had set up. You did so and shut your eyes when he asked, "Countdown or surprise?"

You sucked in and before you could say countdown, Jade said, "Surprise."

You looked at him pleadingly as you screamed at him in your head. "So today's your birthday, huh?" the man asked. Before you could say yeah, he stabbed the needle through. You panicked a bit before he grabbed the ring and stuck it through. After he cleaned up the blood, you sat there and moaned and whined about how it hurt.

"Oh, quit whining. It wasn't as bad as it would've been if you did countdown," said Davey You moaned and said, "But it's going to hurt all day and it's going to be hard to eat and kiss," you trailed off.

You attempted to give jade a light kiss but instead ended up biting your lip. Jade panicked as you screamed about how much it hurt. "Ahhh, it hurt's so bad. I can't even do anything. It's all swollen and," Jade put a finger to your lips to silence you. You sighed and laid against him hoping that it would maybe numb the after pain. You grabbed his hand as you got into the van. You'd barrowed it earlier from NOFX since they were out with concerts all day and you had a free day. You sighed as you nuzzled Jade's forearm. He looked at you and said, "I have never seen you so clingy. Do you have something on your mind?"

You sighed yet again and said, "I don't know. I have chills for some reason and all of a sudden I'm really sad. I shouldn't be sad; it's my birthday! You guys did all this for me and I couldn't be more thankful," you then added, "plus, we're all going to get piss drunk tonight!"

This was followed by a chorus of "no, I can't. Straight edge."

"You guys suck. I'm going to go find a better band that I can get drunk with!" you yelled. They all sighed as if this was to be expected. "It's all good. I love you guys." You smiled as they laughed before you headed towards home.

As you approached the bus, you noticed that Smith was standing there with a piece of paper. As the other guys loaded onto the bus, Smith stopped you and said, "You had a visitor today. He left you this message and it seemed urgent," and handed you the slip of paper. It said, 'I came to follow through with our promise. Hope you're not married.'

You suddenly got chills as you remembered something else about your past. High school.

Torrey Hubner.

You remembered him. Your first love. You met him when you were 16. He was 18 and preparing to join the military. He wasn't really the type of guy to join the military. Something told him he had to; it was probably because his father was a general. He was very smart with computers and was very attractive. You remembered he had mid length strawberry blonde hair. A light pale red. He had beautiful hazel eyes.

You remembered the promise you made to each other. "Promise me that if we ever meet up when I get out of the army, even if you're off and married by then, that you would love me like you did when you first met me. I know it's hard to keep a secret like this and it's corny for me to even ask you to keep this promise but please, give me something to look forward to when I get out."

You stared at the piece of paper. "He's back," you whispered. You walked up into the bus and went up and sat on your bunk. "Hey speck, why the long face?" asked Jade. You faked a smile and said, "It's nothing. I'm just tired, that's all. Be sure to find a keg before tonight okay'? I have a feeling I'm going to be singing some sorrows tonight!" you smiled at your crappy AFI joke. But inside you were afraid of what was going to happen with Jade and Torrey. But you weren't ready to tell Jade. You didn't know when you would be ready. But it'd have to be soon.

You made sure to keep a close eye out for Torrey in case he came unexpectedly. I wasn't like you weren't happy to heard from him, you just didn't think it would happen now of all times. When you suddenly heard a knock on the bus door, you immediately knew it was him. You left everybody alone at the back of the bus as you opened the door and you were shocked to see not the boy you remembered, but a man. "Jesse?" he asked, his voice low toned. You nodded as he smiled. "How are you? It's been too long!" He said and hugged you.

"Thing have been going good," you paused, "When'd you get back?"

"About 4 weeks ago. I figured the first thing I'd do was track you down." He laughed.

You didn't recognize him. His hair was short and cut behind his ears but it was still that pale red. His eyes were a lot more sunk, as if he aged more from under stress but he still had those light eyes.

"It's been so long. So much has happened," you sighed.

"Well, you have plenty of time to tell me all the details! Fill me in,"

You grabbed his arm and lead him inside. "Whom are you staying with?" he asked.

"Some guys," you say as you walk into the backroom interrupting everyone as they were either eating or laughing or playing video games. "Hey guys, I want you to meet my old friend, Torrey,"

He looked at you and laughed and said, "Old friend? Oh come on, it was more than that!" you stood there uneasily before sitting next to Jade. "So, who is this?" he asked. "This is my...fiancé, Jade Puget." You lied. Jade turned and looked at you confused and you mouthed, 'go with it'.

Torrey seemed taken aback and said, "Wow, fiancé huh? When is the wedding?"

You panicked and said the first thing that came to mind, "October 31,"

"On Halloween?"

You nodded.

"So how did you guys meet up?"

You then explained to him everything about how you and Jade were child hood memories and ended up meeting each other through a car accident then recognizing each other later on after a huge amount of bonding. "We've been together ever since."

"Have you guys written your vows?" asked Torrey. You and Jade looked at each other like, "oh crap'.

"Not yet but we're really waiting for the right moment to complete them. We've got few basic ideas though. But what about you? What are you to be doing now that your job in the military is over?" you said trying to change the subject. He looked up and said, "I'm really not sure. I think I'm going to try and settle down. I'm considering buying a house down in Phoenix. Maybe I'll find myself a fiancé as good as yours Mr. Puget."

Jade made an awkward laugh as he tried to pick up on what was going on. "Where are you staying?" you felt the need to ask. "I'm really not sure but I'm one of those people who go with the flow. I'll end up somewhere. I'll just wait and see what happens. But I don't think I'll be hanging around here much longer. This is a different place than where I'd fit in. You've changed a lot Jesse, and I mean that in the best way possible. I hope you two end up happy together. I will see you guys someday in the future. Later," he said as he walked out. "Wow, that is one nice guy." Jade said. "So what was up with the whole fiancé deal?"

"We made a promise back in the day that when he came back we'd try to stay together but we both knew that would never happen if I was to be married."

"Oh I see. So what was he to you? First love?"

You nodded.

"He didn't seem your type. What were you like in high school?"

"I was kind of a valedictorian. I made good grades and I always was in the library. Of course, that all changed when I met Schilling one year after Torrey left. My life was changed. Music was amazing to me because it was something I'd never had before. Ever since, I've had kind of an alternative personality. I'm all over."

Jade laughed and said, "I wonder what it'd be like if we really got married. That would be so weird! Nothing against marriage but that would be scary!"

You grabbed his hand and held it strong. "You never know what may happen."

Eventually warped tour was coming to an end and you would have to go home. You didn't want to go back to work at the diner. You were having so much fun. It wasn't fair.

You had to say goodbye to Emily first thing. You sighed immediately as you walked outside into the heat, remembering everything that happened here. Right now, home was the last place you wanted to be.

"Emily, what's going to happen after we leave? The chance of ever being able to hang out like we always do is going to be really hard."

She nodded but smiled sympathetically. "Yeah, I know. But I plan to move to San Jose in a year and that's over near Berkley so I could visit you once in a while. I'm so happy I decided to come to warped this year or none of this would've ever happened. I'm going to miss you guys so much. Here's my mom's number. I'll be living at her house until she gets stable and then I'm getting an apartment until I plan on moving." You nod as you hugged her. Davey walked up from beside you and gave her a soft kiss on the lips along with that loving embrace.

After you all gave your goodbyes, you watched as she left in her Subaru.

Then you turned to each other as you asked, "What happens now? I don't want to go home."

Jade sighed and pulled you to the side and said, "It's not really going away forever. Think of it like we're sending you away and we're going to meet up again in the future. We're going to be doing multiple amounts of TV appearances and touring all in the course of a year and I don't want to just drag you along for the ride if you have better things you could be doing. I want you to pursue a career and be famous for it because I know you have that ability. " You felt a tear go down your cheek as you stared at the ground. One year. Can you survive one year without Jade?

"I know you're hurting. I'm hurting too but I'm always going to be thinking about you whenever I'm doing an interview or anything. I'm not going to be able to call you that often but I promise I'll call you...we're going to be in town a few days before we set off so I want to make those days really special."


	8. News flash, he's gone

When you got home, the first thing you did was hug Schilling and Geiger. "I missed you guys!" you said as you pulled schilling to the side. "It's been a mess since you haven't been here. I had to work a second job to help manage. How do you do it?" You shrugged.

"So what has been going on? Did you and Jade hook up?" You nodded and said, "What has Geiger been doing lately?" She smiled awkwardly and said, "He says that he has a new girlfriend and he told me to tell you that he feels bad for trying it with you because he knew you two were only friends and he knew you liked Jade."

You sighed. "Well now Jade is leaving for a year for touring and TV interviews. I don't know what I'm going to do but I know I have to occupy myself to keep him out of my mind. He's going to spend the last few days with me but I don't even know if I want to now because I know when I see him, I'll just get sad again."

"I'm sorry. But I'll do something so you two can spend the last days well."

You smiled and turned around to see the bus leave. Jade would be over tomorrow bright and early. You sighed and walked inside and looked around. It was messy still. Was it never clean? You walked upstairs and took in the familiar smell of your room. You plopped onto it seeing as you tired from the long drive home.

You stared at the ceiling trying to take in that you were returned to your old routine. You sighed. You didn't want to forget everything that happened. They'd be overrun by all the new memories you'll have over the course of this year. You had to be responsible again after taking the most laidback trip of your life.

You didn't want to think about this anymore. You then fall asleep.

You woke up and heard silence. This was new. It was never quiet in this house.

You got and changed into some casual clothes and went downstairs. You thought it would be nice if you cooked something for Jade when he came over.

You prepared the food and set the timer on the stove.

As you carried out the finishing touches, you heard knocking on your door. You yelled for them to come in. "Hey, what's up? What are you making?" Jade said.

"It's a secret. Here, try it." You put a spoonful of it in his mouth as you mused for his reaction. He smiled and said, "It's very good I love it,"

You smiled. "Hey, this is random I know but it's kind of like a test of skills. Can you dance?" He looked up and said, "What kind of dancing? I can ballroom dance and slow dance and I can sort of tango except it comes out more like 50s dancing." He laughed. You loved it when he laughed.

"Good, you passed my test." You laughed. You sat down with your food and watched a little TV before Jade found something of yours in the couch. "What the hell? What is this for?" he said as he held up a little baggy. "Oh Jade, it's not what you think," you tired to say but were interrupted by him. "You're not into that stuff, are you? The whole drug world? That doesn't seem like you at all," he sighed. You looked at your feet and said, "It's not a side of me I'd ever like to have you ever see. I don't know why but a lot can happen when you're 'in the moment'. It sounds pathetic but even though I try not to act like a kid, I am a kid. I was high when I overdosed and went to the hospital. I'm so shocked they didn't do any drug tests or you would've found out back then. I don't want you to look down on me because of it."

He then said, "I wouldn't look down on you. I'm concerned. I mean, it's scary for me to know this is what you're doing when I'm gone. I'm leaving for year now and when I come back I don't want you to be a drug addict. Now this obviously isn't all your doing. Who put you up to it in the start?"

You smiled awkwardly and said, "Schilling,"

He sighed once again. You didn't want him to feel worried so you said, "Jade when you leave, I'm not exactly sure what I'm going to react like. I would say that everything will be fine but I don't know. But I'll listen to you. I won't smoke any more pot. This is where this becomes a big deal. I don't normally listen to other people because I'm stubborn but for some reason I listen to you. It's like you've been there and know what it's like," you smiled as he grabbed your hand.

"Forget about me when I'm gone. Act as if nothing has happened. Live your life like you did before you ever met me. But this time, I want you to be happy. I want you to go out and find yourself something in life to enjoy. Quit the diner. You have connections now," he said as he slipped a card into your hand. On the card was the name's of several different talent-seeking agents listed in your area. You looked up at Jade and smiled widely. And hugged him for a long time and whispered, "It's not going to be the same without you here to see me rise up. But I'll listen to you. Stay in my dreams and I'll love you forever."

Then you thought of what you said. "I'll love you forever," meant love. Real love? Did you just say you loved him?

He looked down shyly then said, "It doesn't hurt to know I'm leaving for a year. In fact just knowing you said that will make me happy for a long time. I love you now more than I ever did at the beginning."

This shocked you but you felt so happy you jumped up and kissed him hard on the lips. You opened your mouth a bit so he had access. You felt him breathing down your throat as his tongue light grazed against your lips. His taste filled your mouth as you passionately frenched on the sofa. It didn't matter that you were in a messy mobile home; all that mattered was that you were in love and you were happy.

Even if it all washed down on the day he left, you felt him with you always. As months went by, you continued taking his advice through it all.

Randomly in the middle of the year

You scrubbed at the dishes while you watched the news in the other room. Your hair has gotten a lot longer since he left. You noticed lots of news covering the whole Israel and Lebanon stuff. You sighed and questioned the country's authority. You finished your last dish and changed the channel to MTV. You noticed TRL was on. You also noticed 'miss murder' was playing. You smiled and looked down as you turned the TV off as you grabbed your keys and walked out to your car. You had a meeting with an agent to go to and you were a little off track.

You drove cautiously as you pulled into the parking lot of a large record company building. You were heading towards the front door when a flashy looking guy opened the door for you. You were surprised that a man of his status would even give you a second look but you said, "thank you" and kept walking. You heard "A little less sixteen candles a little more touch me" by fall out boy playing lightly in the background as you walked up to the front desk and said, "I have an appointment with Martin Svennings."

The secretary nodded her head towards the left and pointed out the office in between typing.

You walked over down the hall and noticed a girl punching the wall. "That fucking asshole! He didn't even have to hear me sing to tell me if I'm cut out for the industry," she yelled to herself.

You walked up and said, "Sorry to listen in, but what happened? I'm supposed to go in next,"

She smirked and said, "Good luck. He's a fascist prick. By the way, my name is Lauren. Nice to meet you."

You smiled and said, "The name is Jess. So why exactly did he turn you down?"

She frowned and said, "Because I'm not 'star material'. He wouldn't even listen to me sing. It's kind of a letdown after the 5th time of rejection this week."

"Ouch, this is my third appointment so I'm hoping my enthusiasm isn't scarred after this," you say.

"Well good luck, really. I'll be waiting out here to see how you do."

You sighed and walked into the room. There was a man with dark black hair. It was combed in somewhat of an emo combover. It looked like the lead singer of 30 seconds to mars' hair. He had dark eyes. His business suit threw off his image.

"Um hi, Mr. Svennings?" you asked somewhat confidently.

"Call me Marten."

"Marten! Nice to meet you, my name is Jesse Hansen," you said nervously as you set your purse down as you walked in.

"Turn around." He directed as you did so without a word.

"You look like Hayley Williams from Paramore," he said blankly. You swallowed and asked, "Why did you say no to Lauren? She seems like someone who deserve this,"

You made a nod upwards and said, "She may deserve it but approaching with a scared look in your eye proves that there is no place for you in an industry as hard-headed as this. I am considered to be different than other agents and this is something I take deep pride in. I cannot accept everyone into here, even if they are talented."

You nodded sadly as you understood. He stood up with a remote control in his hand as he pointed it at a stereo placed on a shelf. "Can you dance and sing at the same time?" he asked. You said, "Well, I can but that's not really what I'm looking for. I want to be a singer in a band like Paramore."

He smirked and clicked a button and said, "Sing along to this seeing as you obviously know who the band is. Then I will give you the opportunity to show me your own song. Simply I just want to see how you'd act if you were on stage. Here's a microphone. Just pretend. It's unprofessional but it's easily established." "

Then suddenly, the sound of "Never let this go" filled the room. You grabbed the mic and shut your eyes. This was getting easier to do after all that practice. You curved your lips and sang, "Maybe if my heart stops beating, It won't hurt this much  
And never will I have to answer  
Again to anyone

Please don't get me wrong

Because I'll never let this go  
But I can't find the words to tell you  
I don't want to be alone  
But now I feel like I don't know you

One day you'll get sick of  
saying that everything's alright  
And by then I'm sure I'll be pretending  
Just like I am tonight

Please don't get me wrong

Because I'll never let this go  
But I can't find the words to tell you  
I don't want to be alone  
But now I feel like I don't know you

Let this go, let this go

But I'll never let this go  
But I can't find the words to tell you  
I don't want to be alone  
But now I feel like I don't know you

I'll never let this go  
I can't find the words to tell you  
That now I feel like I don't know you," you held the note and ended it.

He smiled and said, "I think you have a pretty good chance of making it. So far, I like your style. You're not really extreme but your not just another avril lavigne. You have something about you that makes you more down to earth."

You smiled and grabbed your song sheet.

"Alright, so I want you play your song with no music. Just sing like your home by yourself or something."

You sighed and looked down at the words you wrote down.

You breathed in and sang, "If you knew what it was like, being one beneath the earth

Would you see that I am miserable just moving on with life?

These are things that need to change

these are my words written down, on the pages of my mind

These are my memories that, I thought I'd never find,

And it just hurts when you say, that you could feel my aches, you never can feel my aches

If I told you what had happened when I fell down out of mind,

I just know that I would hurt again with lost fears and a knife,

These are things that need to change

These are my words written down, on the pages of my mind

These are my memories that, I thought I'd never find, never find

And it just hurts when you say, that you could feel my aches, you never can feel my aches

You are the one I want to keep so why do you keep taunting me

You're in my dreams

It's not what it seems

I'm painfully constant to you

These are things that need to change

these are my words written down, on the pages of my mind

These are my memories that, I thought I'd never find, never find

And it just hurts when you say, that you could feel my aches, you never can feel my aches"

"Very nicely put. We could work on some of those lyrics but all in all. I'm impressed. You can get started in a few weeks. We need to get you a band and maybe some gigs in the future but I'm not promising anything. Do you know anyone who might be talented enough to join your band?"

You thought about it. "Yes, I know that girl Lauren seems like she'd be good for it."

He sighed and said, "Do we really want to have her? I know I haven't heard her sing or do anything but she just seems so,"

"Never judge a book by its cover. You may be overlooking some good talent."

He smiled and said, "That is very true. Now just go tell your friend about it and I'll take care of the rest. I will make this as easy as I can for you. I'll call you in a few weeks when we need to set up the rehearsals/gigs."

You nodded and walked out and told Lauren all about what happened. "Wow, he said that? Maybe he's not a fascist prick after all," she laughed.

"So how old are you? How long have you been interested in starting a band?"

She tucked her long black hair behind her ear and said, "I'm 22 and I've been trying to start a band since I was 17. I guess you can say I'm a bit of a wannabe but I want to do this. I don't know what else I have in life. Plus I really would like to meet Adam Lazzara someday. I love him so much! If I don't meet him, I'll die unsatisfied!"

You laughed at her devotion. It was sweet.

"I'm probably going to have to draw some graphics for my album. I'm thinking of calling it Ridged Catastrophe. But I need to rite some more songs but I'm not good at songs and I need help. Do you think you can come over one day and help me?"

"Of course. I would love to. I'd never skip out on an opportunity," she said.

"Good, we can chill at my place anytime you'd like. You can meet my roommates."

"Sweet."

As you drove home, you thought about your day. You had gotten a talent agreement put together and you were on your way to getting a band together all in the course of a few weeks. You felt pleased to be able to go home to an empty house since Geiger and Schilling were visiting their families. You had all made an agreement that once every few months you would all visit your families. Of course, you couldn't visit your family seeing as your parents were dead and you didn't want to visit your foster family because they lived really far from California. You just didn't have the money to go out of state. So you agreed you'd stay here and maintain.

You plopped down on the couch and turned on the TV. You turned it Fuse and saw AFI sitting on the couch while Jade talked about the new album.

Then Steven asked, "Do you get homesick a lot when you're on tour?"

Jade then said, "You don't know the half of it. It is so hard to stay in touch with our family and friends and it really interferes with our moods during touring but we manage to stay upbeat and we still enjoy seeing the fans."

Then Davey started talking about how he missed his dog. Ha.

Then Marianela mentioned about a contest where you had the chance to play opening band for AFI. And you could also win a signed les paul guitar and amp. You sighed but smiled as you turned off the TV and went upstairs. You started digging around in Geiger's room. You didn't know what you were looking for until you found it. A pack of cigarettes.

'But I don't smoke,' you thought. 'Is this supposed to be some substitute for coping?'

You sighed and grabbed your lighter. You pulled out a joint and lit it and raised it to your lips. You sucked in and exhaled. You felt relaxed. You put the pack in your pocket as you grabbed your keys and walked out to the car. You needed some air and the park seemed like the greatest solution.

When you got there you locked your car and walked to a nearby bench. AS you finished your cigarette, you reached for the pack to grab another. You lifted it up to light it but a voice startled you.

"You shouldn't smoke those," you looked up to see a young boy who looked oddly like Jade. But something was different about him. He was very thin and had light jade eyes.

"You're very pretty. Pretty girls shouldn't smoke. It's obvious that you got a lot on your mind. What happened?" He said as he sat next to you. You sighed and said, "My boyfriend left for a year and I'm really having a hard time dealing with it still. Today I watched him do an interview on TV and now I feel sad."

He smiled sympathetically in a way that made you feel content.

"Oh, is he famous?" he asked smiling widely.

"Eh, sort of. I mean, I guess he's pretty famous being in AFI and all," you were interrupted by, "What? You're the chick that sung with AFI at warped! I knew I recognized you from somewhere. Is your boyfriend Jade?"

You nodded and asked, "How did you know?"

He eerily smiled and said, "I saw you two all over each other at the food place. It's actually kind of cute really. I haven't had a girlfriend in a while," he paused and sighed. You smiled and said, "It's okay, I understand. Really I do because I've been without my boyfriend for about 6 months now and I still have like 6 left. I wish I just could hug him again. You look like him and I'm resisting my urges."

He laughed and scooted closer and said, "I'll satisfy you for now," before embracing you in friendly manner. You smiled and said, "Thanks. By the way, my name is Jesse."

"My name is Caleb. Nice to officially meet you."

You giggled. He was so cute and nice. Must. Resist. Urges.

"I can't remember what it felt like to kiss Jade! My mouth is untouched and unloved! I don't know how I'm going to survive 6 more months!" You whined. You started to cry a little.

Caleb grabbed the cigarette you failed to light and lit it and stuck it in your mouth. You inhaled and suddenly felt relaxed again.

"Maybe it's better if you smoke. Then you're not as much as a wreck."

You smiled and said, "I'm not usually this bad. This is the first time I've really taken it in since he left. But now I feel a little better knowing that you were here instead of just me by myself. Um, don't take this wrong but would you like to come back home with me? My roommates are out of town and I don't want to go home by myself,"

"Oh, sure! That's cool; I understand what that's like. So how old are you?"

You bit your lip and said, "I'm 21."

He gulped and smiled and said, "Wow, I thought you'd be like 17 or something. You're older than you look. I'm 20."

You sighed and said, "I hate looking younger than I am. I'm short on top of that!"

You then asked him, "Do you live around here?"

He nodded his head and said, "I live by myself in those apartment buildings over there." He pointed towards some normal looking apartments across the street.

"Oh, that's cool. So shall we go then? It's getting pretty dark and roads get pretty crappy at night,"

He nodded and you both headed towards your car. As you got in the car, you said, "So, do you usually give advice to complete strangers?"

He laughed and shook his head. "No, I'm really shy so I don't really meet new people easily. I just kind of winged something at you. Whatever comes to my mind. That's why I don't have a girlfriend. I don't like to approach people if I have nothing to say."

You smiled as you started the car up and headed home.

"So what do you do?" he asked. You sighed and said, "I am getting a band together with my agent's help and we're going to try to get signed."

He grinned at this and said, "Really? I play bass and I can sing too!"

You then had an idea. "I know! I can get a few of my friends up here and maybe they can join the band!"

He beamed at this and yelled, "You mean you'll let me join?"

You nodded as he jumped up and down.

You laughed and said, "Hyper much?"

He nodded enthusiastically. You giggled at his frenzy. "Hey, I know this is weird again for just meeting you and all but would you want to stay over tonight? I can invite my friend Lauren over too so it wouldn't be just us." He agreed.

Honestly you were afraid for it to be just you and him. He was so nice and you were starting to grow fond of him and that CANNOT happen.

You called Lauren and she arrived 30 minutes later wearing a striped zip up hoodie and tight blue jeans. "Hey Lauren, looking good. Whom are you trying to impress?" you joked as she walked inside. "Oh, you know who. There's your hippy lampshade, your video camera, your," she paused as she saw who you had over.

You intervened into the staring contest and said, "Hey Caleb, We're going to go upstairs to get a movie to watch. We'll be right back." You grabbed Lauren and went upstairs.

When you reached the top of the stairs, she screamed out, "You didn't tell me you had a guest! My god, I've never seen anyone look that good in a long time! So his name is Caleb?"

You nodded and she said, "Did you call dibs? I call dibs!" You nervously smiled and looked at the floor and said, "I already have a boyfriend...who looks just like that,"

"Really who?"

"Jade Puget."

Her jaw dropped and she yelled, "Are you serious?"

You nodded and said, "He's been away for 6 months and now this guy comes along who looks just like him."

"Wow, this must be killing you."

You nodded and held up a cigarette pack. Lauren smiled as you both went to look for a movie to watch.

You grabbed Moulin Rouge and ran downstairs.

Later

"No! Why'd she have to die! That's not fair!" Emily screamed as you all watched the ending. You sniffed and wiped the tears from your eyes. "Every time I watch this movie I cry. At first I thought it was just sad but now I have a boyfriend and I can just imagine what I would do if that was him," you said. You looked at Caleb, who was sniffing quietly to himself.

"Oh my god, are you crying?" said Emily who then continued with, "That wasn't sad! It just pissed me off that it ended so wrongly! Why are you guys so sad?"

You laughed to try and cheer yourself up. "So now what should we do?" asked Caleb. You thought about it.

You then stood up and walked to the refrigerator and pulled out a six pack of beers. You didn't really like beer but it worked. You threw two cans to each of them and grabbed two for yourself.

You all opened your cans at the same time and made a cheer as you all drank at the same moment. You figured you might as well drown some sorrows.

Of course, 2 beers wouldn't get you completely wasted unless you were a lightweight. But they might put a few things off your mind.

"Lauri, do you play any instruments?" you asked randomly.

"I've been playing drums for 6 years." She replied. You smiled and said, "Well this idea is coming together nicely."

The next morning Emily called and left a message that said, "I'll be in townin a fewweeks. I hope to see you soon! Tell the boys I said hi next time you talk to them!"

You sighed and shook your head smiling. You then turned on the TV and saw AFI again. "Why are they always on whenever I want to watch TV?" you asked to no one in particular seeing as everyone was still asleep.

You then had an idea. You check to see if the show was live. You then grabbed your phone and dialed Jade's cell phone. You doubt he had it turned on but to your surprise, the idiot left it on. You saw a phone ringing on the TV as all the band turned and looked at Jade. He looked at the number on the phone and looked at the guys. "Can I please take it? It's kind of important,"

"I'll let you take it this time but next time, turn it off before we walk out!" yelled Davey. Jade smiled shyly and walked off camera. You then heard his voice on the phone. "Hello?"

You grinned. "Oh did I interrupt your interview?"

"You did that on purpose, didn't you?"

"Maybe I did. Maybe I just wanted to call you and hear your cheerful voice."

"Cheerful eh? This cheerful enough for you? I'm a wreck without you here. How are you doing?"

"Okay, I guess. I'm getting a band together and we're going to try to go for a record deal but otherwise, I'm doing shitty health wise."

"What? What did you do?"

You paused. You couldn't tell him you started smoking and drinking. That'd just make him worry.

"I have a cold, that's all. It's killing me. But I made friends with someone who looks just like you. I'll manage a little longer but if you don't come back, don't expect me to be in one piece."

"Oh, yeah. About that, the company is planning more stuff..."

"No, you're coming home. You have to; I'm hardly standing it how it is! I can't do this anymore! There has to be another way!"

"Sigh. I know this is hard. I'm already sick of this whole thing. I want to go home and be with you again,"

You then saw Davey on the screen yelling, "Come on, man. We're not doing this thing without you. You can call your girlfriend later!"

You heard him sigh and say, "Jess, I have to go. I promise I'll call you as soon as I can. I love you,"

"I love you too, bye."

You then watched him walk back on screen and sat down with an agitated look on his face. Davey smiled sympathetically and put his hand on his shoulder.

You frowned and felt a tear roll down your cheek. "What's wrong?" you heard Caleb say as he walked down the stairs. He looked at the screen and said, "Oh," as he sat down next to you.

"I called him. He says he might have to be gone longer than we thought."

"Aw, I'm so sorry," he said as he put his arm around you and pulled you close to him. Then he said, "It must be killing him too though. Look at him. He's all depressed,"

This caused you to cry more. Caleb frowned and raised his hand and wiped your tears away and kissed you on the forehead. You felt calmer as he shh'd you quietly.

"Why are you so nice to someone like me?" you asked.

He sighed and said, "I like you, and you're a nice girl. I want you to smile more often and to be happy. I have a good feeling about what you're going to do with this band. It's a good idea and I want to take part in it as much as I can."

You flashed him a bright grin. "Now that's what I'm talking about." He laughed.

You smiled and stood up. You walked into the kitchen and for some reason you started singing a song from high school musical. It was some part from 'start of something new'. "What the hell? I don't even like that movie..."

You opened the refrigerator and grabbed a can of coke. You sat down and felt more relaxed as you took a sip from your drink.

"In a few weeks, my friend is coming into town. She's the chick who sang with me on stage at warped. Well, I was thinking that maybe we could all meet up and maybe talk to my agent about the band. We could figure out a name and maybe see if we can actually make music together. You know, stuff like that. We also need a few more people. But he's taking care of that this weekend. Right now all we need is a guitarist and maybe Emily can play keyboard."

You shrugged and discussed further into detail. You the heard Lauren come down the stairs. You looked at Caleb who was smiling very widely as she came down wearing a black halter top with black jeans with plaid suspenders on the back.

You could feel his eyes whizzing past you and staring straight at Lauren. You sighed and stood up and went upstairs and looked at yourself in the bathroom mirror. Your red hair was vibrant and cropped in a side part with some bangs in your face. You tried to smile but your smile just dropped into a scowl. You shut the bathroom door and sat down on the toilet seat. You rested your head on your fist as you thought about a lot of things.

This was really hard for you going on like this. It was really breaking you down.

But why was it that big a deal? I mean, you loved being with him and all but why was it this terrible without him. You were doing fine before you met him. Men. Why do they this to you?

You wrapped your arms around yourself to keep yourself from collapsing. You then felt vibration in your left hand, which was holding the phone. You answered, "Hello?"

"Jess! Hey I called to see what you were up to. I'm sorry I had to hang up on you earlier. I really didn't want to, you know,"

"Oh Jade, of course I know that. I was watching the show when I called you. I just miss you so much..." you said nibbling on your lip ring.

"I miss you too. More than you know. It's so weird. I don't know how I got around before I met you. But man, it gets lonely being on tour."

"It gets lonely no matter where you're at. Why did you make me love you so much? It's hurting me so much being without you."

He sighed.

"I know that it's going to be hard to convince you that everything is going to be fine when I come back. But I promise you that it will be so worth it."

"What are you going to do? Wrap me up in bondage or something?" You joked.

He laughed and said, "God, kill the serious moment why don't you? Hehe, I'm just happy that I can hear you beautiful voice over the phone. You should sing me something so I can go to sleep with a smile on my face."

"No way, that'd be like a corny movie repeat."

"So? It'd make me feel happy...in my boxers,"

You lost your breath for a second hearing him say that. You shook it off and said, "Ah, you made me have one of those teenage first syndromes. You know, where they lose their breath and feel like their stomachs drop."

"Deary, I get those every time I talk to you."

"Damnit, you made me get another one," you twitched.

You heard him snicker as he asked, "Do you have an e-mail address?"

"Eh, sort of. I only go on it once in awhile because its only on an old laptop."

"Well, give me the address. I'm going to send pictures from my cell. Do you have a digital camera?"

"Yeah,"

"Good send me pictures of you. I can take some from my cell."

You gave him the address and got onto your computer but before you got your computer, you noticed some action on the couch. "What are you guys doing?" you asked. Lauren looked up and said, "We're having a pity party. This is how we get over it." Then they both cracked up and sat up from the couch. "God, when I go out of the room, you two are all over each other. Tsk tsk." You said as you sat down on the kitchen table with your laptop. You grabbed your digital camera and hooked it up to the computer.

"Did you get them yet?"

"Not yet...oh here they are!" you yelled as you opened the file. "Aw Jade you look so lonely in these pictures."

"I just took those a few minutes ago."

"Oh. Why do you look so sad?"

"I'm here without, baby! But you're still on my lonely mind!" he squeaked/sung out horribly.

"Oh god, my ears!" you yelled.

"Oh, I got the pictures you sent. Let's seen now...wow, your hair is so long! You have such pretty eyes, I wish you'd try to smile a little in these pictures."

"How can I ever smile again? It hurts to grin."

"Ha, I know what that's like. Well, I got to go. People are screaming my name everywhere I go and everyone needs me for something so I'm going to leave with, "I love you," and I'll see you soon hopefully. We might have a concert there so if we're lucky we can visit. Talk to you later."

"Bye," you said as you hung up. You walked in the other room and saw your roommates walk in the door with a bunch of suitcases in their hands. As soon as Geiger saw your friends sitting on the couch, he said, "Jess, what'd I tell you about renting the house out while we're gone?" You laughed as you looked at Caleb and Lauren. They were sitting close to each other and had a feeling they would be going out sooner or later. Good for them, you thought.

Later, after everyone left and it was just you and your roommates, you sat and relaxed and thought about a lot of stuff. You wondered about what Jade was doing right now.


	9. The Killing Lights

Jade's point of view

After you hung up with Jess, you walked over to Davey. He was in the middle of a very deep conversation with Trish, the new executive producer, about the studio. You sighed and waited for them to finish up so you could talk to Trish about an idea for a new music video. You really wanted to make a video for The Interview. But you also had an idea for the killing lights. You really needed help with what to choose.

As soon as Davey finished talking, you filled her in on everything. The final decision ended up being The Killing Lights because the fans were already assuming it'd be The Interview ahead of time. She told you that she'd let you know what the director had to say about it. You nodded and continued thinking up ideas for the video.

You got a call later from Marc Webb saying that he liked the sound of it and that you should keep updating him with a basic story line.

A few weeks later after some adaptable planning, you were all ready for the video shoot. For the storyline, the video would start out with all of you guys in one room in separate corners of an all-wooden room. Davey would be leaning against a window singing the first line while the rest of you are propped up against the wall and/or lying down like a drag. When the words "Am I beautiful?" came up, you would stand up and run out of the room at the end of "Am I useable?" as a light comes in and blinds you all. Then the scene would just change to you running down a series of hallways and looking in doors and seeing weird things happening in every room. By the time it reaches the end of the chorus, you look in one room and you'll see the band including you playing your instruments and such. You stare confused seeing yourself in front of you. Then you continue to run past another room where you notice a winter-like scene with a tree in the middle of the room. There are a few lost kids staring distantly, none of them acknowledge you. Except for one. It's a girl and she seems to be trying to say something to you. But you can't understand her and ignore her and run away. Then at the part where the songs changes a bit and you hear the breathing intro to the 'cut you up' part. This is where you stop running and find yourself at the end of the wooden hallways and in a winter setting. But this one is a whole world of winter. You then realize you found yourself in DecemberUnderground. That's when the guitar solo breaks out and the scene changes to the guys of AFI all wearing white playing in the middle of the snowy atmosphere. Of course it gets all emotional and stuff and the band goes crazy and starts kicking snow all over when the chorus breaks in again. Then as Davey sings the last long note, they all turn and see the kids from before all standing and watching them. But only one is smiling. You can guess who that one person was. The girl you ran away from.

The only problem you've overcome so far in the video shooting process is that you haven't been able to find any people to play the kids in DecemberUnderground. You wanted them to look a little roughed up but at the same time, you wanted them to be a little normal.

All you knew is that you wanted a special person to play the girl. You wanted Jess to do it. You didn't know how you'd work it out. But you really wanted to make it work the best you can.

Jess' Point of view

"You want me to do what? I can't, Jade! People will think you're giving me some special treatment or something because I'm always involved with your band! I want to be famous, Jade, but I want to do it on my own!" you yelled.

He sighed. "Jess, I really want you to do this. You fit the part perfectly and I know that we haven't seen each other in a while but I am in the position of doing anything to persuade you,"

"Jade, you're going to have to do a lot of persuading because I think this will just piss people off if I'm in another one of your gigs. I just don't know. I've never done anything like this and I'm working on getting together a band and this is just so sudden."

"Yeah, I know. But maybe you can bring that Caleb guy with you and he can do a part as well. Can he stand not smiling for a long time?"

"I don't know," you said before adding, "Why him?"

"I don't know. The way you described him made him seem good for this video. I can't wait until you figure out the whole plot! And to think, I made it up by myself!"

You sighed and said, "Well whatever. I'll do it but you owe me big time as soon as I get there. So where are you filming at?"

"Somewhere between Sunnyvale and San Jose. I think it's at this weird warehouse building. Oh yeah, there will be a lot of green screening on your part so be prepared. You don't have to meet us anywhere. Just go to the Hampton inn and say that you have a reserved room under Puget. That should work as long as you say you're my wife or something."

"Okay then? So I'll drive down there tomorrow night. I think I'll be ready by then."

"Alright. I'll talk to you soon. Thanks so much for doing this! I will love you lots when you get here!"

" Yay! Bye!"

You then got everything packed and ready as you tried to think about the kind of stuff you'd need for a video shoot. You didn't want to think about what kind of stuff they'd make you wear so you just decided that you dress down a bit. You brought 4 long sleeves even though you knew you wouldn't wear them because it was so hot out. You brought 3 teeshirts and like 3 pairs of jeans. You didn't think the video would take too long.

You then called Caleb and told him about it all.

"Wow, really? I don't know if I want to accept an offer that great. I don't know what to say,"

"Don't say anything. Just get your stuff together and be here at 6 tomorrow night."

"O-Okay" he stuttered out before hanging up.

You then wondered if he was as shocked as you were. You were going to be with Jade again. Only for a short period of time but there'd be hour spent at a time. You sighed dreamily and finished your packing and looked at the clock and saw that it was 10:20 at night. You then got ready for bed and brushed your teeth before going to sleep.

The morning you woke up and went into the bathroom and did your makeup. Today you applied it strangely thicker than usual but it still looked really good.

You got dressed in a small army green shirt with a skull on it surrounded by jewels. The sleeves were a little poofier than you'd like so you flattened them a little. You put on some skintight dark blue jeans that are flared at the bottom. You then put on your black and green starred converse. You grabbed a few wristbands and wrist cuffs and put them on one arm and then grabbed a camouflage arm sock and put it on your other arm. You were set.

You had a whole day before leaving so you decided that you would go out and run a few errands. You grabbed your keys and jumped in your car and backed out of the driveway.

When you came to the first red light as you come out of your neighborhood, you remembered how you spaced and hit Jade's car. You then shook out of it and drove through with ease as you drove towards the gas station. You'd need some snacks and stuff if you wanted to drive without stopping. Plus, you'd need gas as well.

After you put gas in, you walked up to the store and bought some food and paid for everything. But as you walked outside, you accidentally bumped into someone and knocked them down. "I'm sorry, are you okay?" you asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Man, for someone who is so small, you sure managed to knock me over easily. My name's Seth and I'm a total lightweight, apparently."

You laughed and said, "My name's Jess. Sorry for knocking you down. I'm just kind of antsy for this gig I'm doing,"

He smiled, as you looked him over. He seemed normal. He had mid length light blonde hair. He had light blue eyes and a real friendly face. His clothes seemed decent. They were simply a black hoody and jeans.

"Well, nice to meet you, Seth. I'm just going to be heading down to San Jose tonight with my friend, Caleb. We're doing this video thing and I guess we're in like a serious role or something,"

"Caleb? Does he have brown hair with blonde streaks all over?"

You nodded. "Oh my god, that's sweet. He's one of my friends. He told me about the video shoot yesterday! You guys are so lucky. I would kill to be in something like that."

You thought about inviting him but you didn't know if that would be alright with Jade and the rest of the band. You figured you'd take the risk. "Maybe you can come with us?"

"What? Oh no, I would have to take off work and It'd be so sudden and I don't want to take advantage," you interrupted him with,

"Oh come on, it'll be great! We always could use another person in DecemberUnderground."

He made a face and said, "I don't know. I just met you and this is kind of too great of an offer to accept. I mean, I would love to go but...December underground? What's the video about?"

You sighed and explained all what you knew about it. "Oh I see. Okay, I'll go but only so you don't have to be alone with Caleb the whole time. Man, he gets annoying on long trips! Trust me, I know!"

You laughed and explained to him where you live and told him to be there at 6. "Well, it was nice to meet you. It's good to know you'll come with us after I made you fall. Haha, I'll talk to you later," you said as you walked to your car and drove home. You found yourself in a quiet house and you were wondering what your roommates were up to. It had been so quiet since they came back and you remember never having quiet before they left.

You walked upstairs and found Schilling in her room listening to The Used. "Sarah, what's wrong?" you asked using her first name to show you were concerned. "Nothing. I just feel sad lately is all. You have so many new friends and it seems like you have a life and now you're leaving for a video shoot...it seems like we're losing you."

You sighed. "You're not losing me. I still will come home and things will be just like they always have been."

She shook her head, "No, they won't. You're getting a band together and once you do finally form one then you're going to go on tour and forget about us. This all happened because you met Jade."

"But, Jade is the greatest thing in my life. Things were so hard for me before and he's completely made my life so much easier. There are still things I can do on my own. If it weren't for him, I wouldn't be pursuing this career at all. But now I feel confident that I can do this and make it. Now I've made all these new friends on my own. The feeling of having friends who can back me up and be there for me. You guys were enough for me but now I have more than I need. You and Geiger will always be the ones who brought me up to who I am now. Thank you."

She smiled and stood up. "It's really not going to be the same without you. I know someday you're going to move out of here and start a life on your own but, just don't forget about us. We're always going to be here thinking about you."

You smiled and said, "Thanks. But don't change for me. Live life how we did before where we'd laugh and listen to music really loud."

"Okay. We will."

The next thing you knew, it was 6 and both boys were at your house. You grabbed all your stuff and put it in the trunk as you all piled into your tiny car. Caleb was in the passenger seat next to you and Seth was in the backseat by himself. You drove until you reached the exit onto the freeway.

"Hey Jess, did Seth tell you he played guitar?" asked Caleb randomly.

"No. You do?" you asked Seth.

"Yeah, I've been playing for as long as I can remember."

"Wow, that's great. Are you in a band?"

"Nope, I don't know anyone with a band." He said completely clueless.

"Well, I'm starting a band with my agent and I think we have an opening for lead guitar," you smiled widely.

"Are you serious?" he asked.

"Completely."

"Dude, I'm so in."

"Sweet. We now can officially name our band as soon as we get home and meet with the others."

It was a good hour and a half drive there and you were feeling rather tired. As you pulled into the parking lot of the hotel, you turned and found both Caleb and Seth sleeping peacefully. You smiled and parked you car and climbed in the backseat and lightly shook them.

"Are we there?" Caleb asked as he awoke. "Yes, now wake up Seth. I'm going to go inside and get our room. I'll give you the signal when I get one okay?"

He nodded and you turned and walked to the lobby.

"Hi, I have reservations under the name 'Puget'." The man looked into his computer and then said, "Yes, that is the suite. Um, are you family?"

"I'm his fiancé and I'm here with his two brothers. We're meeting him here," you lied.

The man nodded and handed you the room key. You then made a signal outside and waited for them to get the stuff. As soon as Seth and Caleb walked in, the lobby seemed to get quiet. You ignored the utter silence and walked towards the elevator with them following. When you were all loaded in the elevator, you said, "Jade got us a suite. He didn't need to do that."

Caleb looked up and pressed the button to get you to the last floor and then said, "I don't know. Maybe it's not as nice as it sounds." You shrugged and waited until the elevator stopped. As you approached the suite, you grabbed your key and slid it through. The little light turned red. "What the..." you then proceeded to slide it through several times before Seth grabbed it out of your hand and slid it through properly. You glared at him as you walked into the room and dropped your stuff. You all kind of stared at it for a while before unloading.

The room was large and had 3 beds near the windows and 2 full couches. It also had a large window that had a beautiful view of the city. The walls were white with rose wallpaper bordering the corners. There were a lot of end tables that had roses on them to go along with the theme.

"Dude, check out this bathroom!" screamed Caleb to Seth. "They have separated toilets and urinals. Look, they're gold plated!" You shook your head and walked past them to look at the bath. It was one of those really big ones that are like a hot tub. It was deep too. "I could have fun with this," you whispered as you picked up the bath massager. You then laughed and shook your head as you laid on one of the beds. You then got up and noticed a cabinet above the bed. Then you noticed there was a large TV in there! "Oh wow, this is incredible. Jade really outdid himself!"

"Oh, but you're worth it," you heard a voice from behind you. You turned around and lost your breath for a second as you saw Jade standing there with his arms open. You ran up to him and lovingly embraced him for the first time in a long time. "I missed you so much," you said while taking in his scent.

"I missed you too. That's why I got you this room for you and your friend!"

You pulled away and said, "Um, yeah. I met someone else before we left and I brought him along. Is that a problem?"

He shook his head and said, "Not at all. I made sure there were enough beds, just in case. Plus, I know that there's an after party and they're most likely going thrash this place." You laughed and kissed him on the lips. He started to kiss back, until you heard a voice.

"Aw, how cute," said Seth.

"Sorry to break up the family reunion but man, I'm feeling vaguely unloved over here," said Caleb with a smirk. You smiled and looked at Jade and said, "Jade, I want you to meet my band mates, Caleb and Seth."

Caleb stood up and shook his hand as Seth did the same. "Nice to meet you guys. So have you been looking out for my little girl? Thank you, at least she had someone to entertain her," Jade said smiling. Jade wrapped his arms around you from behind and comfortably leaned into him. You felt so small compared to him because he was so much taller and bigger than you. But you felt so safe with him.

"Um, I'm going to go check out the hotel. I'll just leave you two to catch up," said Caleb grabbing Seth by the collar and dragging him out. "But I want to stay!" you heard his cries. You snickered and wrapped your arms around Jade's neck. He backed up a little bit and fell onto the bed dragging you with him. You smiled as you found yourself sitting on top of him. Then you felt a little awkward. You then looked down at him and then to the floor. You climbed off of him and sat on the pillow and sighed. "Not ready?" he asked. You shook your head and he patted you on the back and said, "It's okay. No pressure. It's completely up to you and if you're not ready, then I'm not either." You smiled sadly at him. "It's not like I don't want to. I just don't think it's time yet. Plus I'm still scared. Sometimes I hate my emotions." He sighed and gave you a hug. "We start shooting tomorrow at sunrise. You might want to get some sleep because they're most likely going to wake us all up at like 4 in the morning. But there is this warehouse out in the countryside and the sun hits it perfectly in the morning. It's going to be such a sweet I looked at the costume they're making you wear. You'll love it. I know I did."

You smiled and said, "I can't wait. I just hope I'm good at acting."

Jade smirked and said, "Well, if this helps, Davey is the worst person to work with when it comes to this so if you screw up you won't be alone."

You started laughing.

Skip to tomorrow morning

You opened your eyes to someone violently shaking you. You looked over and saw Jade lying beside you staring at the ceiling, obviously pissed that someone woke him up. "What?" you asked the person shaking you. He backed up and you saw that it was Davey. "Oh, its you. Do we have to leave?" he nodded. You sighed and got out bed and changed into a black teeshirt and jeans. You brushed your hair and didn't do your makeup because there would be people at the shoot who would do your makeup for the video. When you walked out, Jade was already ready. So were Caleb and Seth who woke up earlier than you. You sighed and walked out into the chilly morning air. You then got into a van filled with equipment and drove to the warehouse.

When you got there, you noticed there were cameras everywhere and there was a large green screen setup in front of the far exit door. As you walked through all the hallways inside, you found a lady who had your costume all ready. She led you out to a trailer and sat you down inside on a chair. A lady then came in and started doing your makeup. They brushed your newly dyed hair and made it lay down flat. They applied thick dark lines on your eyes and used loads of mascara until you had beautiful gothic eyes. Then they put pale foundation on your face and made you look almost deathly. Then one of the ladies came out with three dresses in their hands. They were all so beautiful.

She then explained that you'd be featuring in more than one scene and that'd you'd be wearing a different dress each scene. Your first scene you would be wearing a black dress that went down to your knees and had no straps. This was the scene where you'd look up at Jade in the first DecemberUnderground scene. You were going to wear black and white striped tights underneath with black high top converse.

Your second dress was a white satin one with no straps as well. But this one had a pretty design on it. This one went to your middle shin and was a lot more feminine than the last one. This one was for a scene Jade failed to tell you about. In the scene, you were in a dirty bathroom with a mirror on the wall to the left. It starts out with you making yourself look pretty for prom or something. As you apply the eye shadow, the light comes in and you're on the ground crying with cuts that's go up yours arms and on the mirror it says, "Am I pretty enough for you now?" This all happens during the chorus.

Then the third dress was for the ending where the band turns and sees you and the others all watching them. But you alone are smiling.

You sighed as you got ready for the first scene with you in it. You changed into the first dress and looked at yourself one final time in the mirror. You look so deathly white and the way they did your makeup made you look like you've spent your whole life crying. Your hair, you noticed, stood out vibrantly with the dark clothes and pale skin. You had such pink lips though. You chewed on your lip ring as you walked out of the trailer. You walked up to the room you were supposed to be in and asked the director what you were supposed to do.

"Well, we just got done with Jade's whole running scene and the beginning scene. Now it's up to the scene where he stops at the room that is a part of DecemebrUnderground. So pretty much he's going to walk in there and no one else is going to even look at him. Except you. Just kind of glance up distantly and stare. Then you start crossing your arms over your heart like you're tearing it. Act like you're trying to talk to him with your hands and try to tell him what happened without making it look funny. Then when he runs out, just lean back against the tree."

"Tree?" you asked. He pointed to the middle of the room where this realistic tree stood. The room was filled with fake snow and there was a fan blowing to make it seem like it was windy and cold. "Yeah, we're also going to edit this so you can see your breath in the air." He added. You took a deep breath before taking your place. When Jade walked in, you were mesmerized. He was wearing a black turtleneck with tight black pants and boots. His makeup was beautifully done and his hair was somewhat spiky in the back part and the blonde patch was split so it covered his eye more. When he glanced at you, he smiled warmly and said, "Wow, you look...amazing," You smiled and said, "So do you," You then noticed that Caleb and Seth both had the hair slicked over their eyes. Seth was wearing knee-length green shorts with a black shirt with a black trench coat over it. Caleb was wearing stretchy black pants with a white collared button up shirt with a black tie. He had a fitted black hoody over it. He wore it with the hood up.

Then Jade walked out of the room for a second. There was going to be a camera following him as he walked into the room so they could use that and then switch to the other camera view of being inside the room. Makes for good editing.

"And action!" The music started playing loudly as you started the scene.

Jade ran and almost passed the door when he stopped and looked inside. He then walked up into the doorway and looked in at you. You stared at the ground and looked up with a pained look on your face. You tried to pull yourself up using the tree, and you held on to a spot on your dress that symbolized where your heart was. You then made your fingers touch and pull apart. You reached your hand out to him and mouthed, "help"

He shook his head because he couldn't understand you and he ran away. Then the camera was on you alone as you slowly acted as though your heart was disappointed as you sighed and fell to the snowy ground. "Cut!"

Of course, you only had to reenact that over a million times before they finally moved on to the next scene.

You changed into the second dress as you wiped off the makeup from earlier. This time you would only have eyeliner and eye shadow and not as much mascara. Your hair still stood out beautifully as you put in a white headband. You were also wearing a corsage around your wrist as apposed to the scene. You wore white heels.

You then walked to the gross looking bathroom. It kind of looks like the bathroom from that from first to last video "Note to Self"

As the music started up, you automatically looked in the mirror and acted as if your prom date would be here any second. You were so happy. You didn't even realize Jade was in the scene. "It's killing time again, put on your face and let's pretend these killing lights won't kill us all again."

"Cut! Next scene," the director yelled. You sighed and went for make up. They did horror movie makeup all over your arms and legs and face. It looked all bloody and stuff. You had to cry in this scene. You sighed and went back to the scene. It was now completely covered in vandalism of "I hate you" and "Ugly" all over the wall. And in lipstick on the mirror said, "Am I pretty enough for you now?"

You sat propped up against the wall and stared at the camera. "Action!" Then there was a large flash before you were seen staring at the camera. Three tears rolled down your cheek as you wiped the blood from your face.

"It's killing time again, Cover your face and we'll pretend these killing lights won't kill us all again,"

"Cut! Redo!" You sighed and continued to redo the scene. You were only 4 hours into the days so it was 8 AM. You figured you'd get done today since it's not that complex of a video other than the editing. The next scene was where Jade would walked up to the exit and see the winter place and he'd get all confused of why he's in DecemberUnderground and he'd be holding his head and freaking out.

"You see, they always remember. They never forget a face when they cut, cut you up. They remember." Then it'd cut to a scene that the band recorded earlier where they play their instruments in the snow. They got it all up to my point of entry where Davey turns around first before they all do and I stand there smiling with my Seth and Caleb watching.

So by the end of the day, you had recorded the ending sequence and the dress looked beautiful. The video was going to be edited and we'd hear more about it later in the week.

Eventually you all got to help edit certain parts until it was completely perfect and went in sync with the song. But the after party was the one thing you wish you could remember.

Jade's Point of view

You were standing around with everyone with a drink in hand. You had only had a few sips though since you were cutting down on drinking. You looked around and asked Davey, "Hey, do you know where Jess went?"

He shook his head and said, "No, I haven't seen her since we got to the hotel. Sorry."

You nodded you head and turned as you scanned over the large amount of people in the room. You then saw bright red hair in the far right. You started heading her direction but stopped when you realized she was laying on the couch with her head hanging over the edge. You ran over to the her and put her head on your lap as you sat down.

"J-Jadeyou look so sexy," she slurred. You shook your head and said, "How much did you drink?"

Her eyes seemed to wonder around curiously as she held up four fingers and said, "This many,"

"Wow, I didn't think you could hold your liquor so well," you laughed. Then you sighed and picked her up and walked out of the crowded hotel room. You walked into the open hotel room next door and laid her on the bed. You turned around and sighed again as your mind developed rather obscene images of what you could do with her in this state. You shook them out though, as you walked to the bed and started unzipping her corset so she could be more comfortable. You tried to look away as her top slipped off but your heart was racing as you fought to keep your eyes on the ground. "Jadeyou know how much ILoooove you, right?" She garbled. You nodded as you continued to take off her corset. Then she slipped out, "Well, I've been thinkingand I think I might be readyIt's what you want, riiiiight?" She then sat up on her knees revealing to you her body as she sat in her bra and jeans. She put her arms around your neck and tried to kiss you but you remained there twitching. "This isn't right, Jess." You said as you pushed her off of you.

She then started to giggle and spread herself out onto the bed. "Silly Jade!" she yelled repeatedly in a childish voice. Then as you tried to walk out she grabbed your arm and whispered, "Please? I can't control myself any longer,"

You pulled away disgusted and ran out of the room and into the elevator. You didn't like this side of her at all. It drove you crazy that you were pulling away from her when you had all the opportunity but if you were going to do anything with her, you wanted it to be when she's sober.

You held onto your pants as you were trying to resist all urges but man, that was harder to do than say. As the elevator reached the lobby, you decided you'd go for a walk.

As you came back, you felt like something was wrong. You went up the elevator and walked down the hall and looked inside the hotel room and saw Davey lying on the bed, with Jess face down in his crotch. "Dude, what the hell?" you screamed in dismay, "Dude, this is sooo not what it looks like!"

"Bull shit!" You yelled.

"Oh come on, why would I hit up on your chick? She's the one who's drunk as a skunk! Did you ever think that she might be a little more reliable on the stuff since you left?" Davey screamed in reply. Then it hit you. She turned to alcohol because of you leaving. "Oh shit, I had no clue." You said as you sat on the bed. Davey sighed and said, "Dude, for you information, she laid down on me. She was all sad because you walked out on her. What happened anyway?"

You moaned and said, "She was trying to force me to sleep with her."

"And you denied, why?"

"Because I'm not going to sleep with a drunk virgin!" You screamed louder than you meant to.

"Wow, she's a virgin?"

Your hand immediately hit your face.

"Eh, I'll be leaving now. Make good choices and use a condom." Said Davey as he kissed you on the cheek and ran out of the room. "Idiot..." you mouthed as you went and laid next to your passed out girlfriend. "You're going to be a handful," you sighed and lay down and fell asleep.


	10. Video killed the radio star

Jess' point of view

As soon as you opened your eyes a little bit, your head started throbbing. You couldn't remember anything that happened the night before.

You felt a pair of hand wrapped around you. You turned to find Jade there, with his shirt off. "Oh my God! What did I do last night?" you screamed realizing you were only in your bra and jeans. You then fell off the bed from jumping up immediately. Jade's eyes lightly fluttered open as he looked and found you on the floor. "What'd I do last night, Jade?" you yelled. He rubbed his eye and said, "You got drunk as hell and you tried to force me to sleep with you."

You frowned and asked, "Well, did you? I don't feel any different..."

"No, I didn't. I wouldn't take advantage of you like that, no matter how much I wanted to."

"I don't know what I say when I'm drunk so no one can really take me too seriously,"

Jade nodded and yawned before he stood up. "You're going to get a big lecture from me though. I can't believe you started drinking again. I thought we went over this."

You sighed. "I know but it got really hard to control it anymore,"

"Well, this is why I'm here. You're going through problems and I'm going to ring you through them because I love you and I want you to be happy," he said as he kissed you on the cheek while holding your hands in his. You had little hands compared to his big hands that pretty much swallowed you hands whole. You laughed as he pulled you onto the bed once more as you laid with him. "How do you step up in a seemingly perfect relationship if you're too scared to even have sex?" you asked hastily.

"I'll hold it out. Let's not ruin it by doing something we're not even close to approaching yet. Sure, it's hard sometimes because seeing you just makes me so happy inside. I mean, you're so thin and beautiful," he said as he ran his hands down your sides. You suddenly felt something inside like it turned you on or something but you smiled and simply waved off the sexual tension. "Plus, you have really nice boobs," he said randomly. Then he poked one and laughed. "You did not just poke my boob."

"Yes, I did. That's what they're there for," he giggled.

You smacked his hand and said, "Look but don't touch,"

He then made a look as if he were offended as you both slightly giggled at each other.

"So, you have to go back tomorrow, don't you?"

You nodded and sighed before saying, "Yes, sadly. But I'm going to be getting a band together so now I have something be focused on. I feel bad that there's nothing I can do for you before I leave with Seth and Caleb,"

"I don't know, maybe there is something we could do," Jade said as he started unzipping his pants.

"Ew sicko! Don't even think about it," you screamed as you hit him on the shoulder.

"I'm just kidding with you, babe. You just look so cute when you're mad!" He said pinching your cheeks. You waved him off as you lied down on the floor. You spread your arms above your head and felt a video camera. This gave you an idea.

"Jade we should make a video! It'd be cool and it'd give me something to remember before I leave!"

"That's a great idea! I used to make videos all the time with Smith back in the day."

You picked up the camera and turned it on and pointed it at Jade. "No, don't look at me! I'm so ugly right now!" he cried as he continued to make very horrible screeches of despair.

"Jade, you sound like a dying seacow," you said while giggling as you turned the camera around at yourself.

You then ran out into the hallway while Jade ran after you trying to catch up. As you entered the elevator, you noticed Davey and Adam were in there too. You handed the video camera to Adam.

"Say hi to the little people!" he yelled.

You stuck your tongue out and grabbed Jade and put your leg up against him.

"Suck on that, America!" you screamed as you flipped off the camera.

"Wow, for someone who just got piss drunk last night, you seem to be handling the hangover pretty well," Davey said.

You then stopped and held your head. "Wow, I didn't even think about a hangover. It completely didn't hit me until now that I have a huge headache," you laughed.

As you exited the elevator, you continued to walk until Jade stepped in front of you so you could jump on his back. You did so as Adam laughed and followed you with the camera.

"I feel so left out," Davey laughed.

"Aw, poor Davey. Don't worry, we'll give you love!" You jumped off Jade's back and ran up to Davey and gave him a hug but as you pulled away, you licked his face.

"Ah, gross!" he screamed in a high-pitched voice. You stuck your tongue out as Jade came up from behind you put his arms around your waist. You smiled as you turned you head to kiss him but as you did, you noticed Adam up in your face.

"Aw, look at the cute couple! Think I can cut in?" he said and laughed as you saw Jade playfully glaring at him. Just then, a man in a fancy suit came up to you and said, "Do you think you and your party can please keep it down or go outside?" You looked at Jade and smirked before saying, "Okay! Let's go outside and conduct hate crimes and street violence!"

You all laughed before going outside. Then the thought occurred to you, "Where are Seth and Caleb?" you asked.

"I think they were hanging with Hunter in the weight room," said Adam.

"Why?"

"Maybe they want to have sexy bodies," Davey implied.

"Hmm, maybe."


	11. Show but never tell

30 minutes later

"Excuse me, I asked for whipped cream and no sugar! Not no whipped cream and lots of sugar!" you screamed while trying not to laugh. Everyone started laughing as the waitress sighed and took back the coffee.

"That's so mean but I can't help it! I'll leave her a good tip because I know what it's like to have to deal with obnoxious customers," you said as you put a little money on the table. You looked across the table at Jade and your two newest guy friends. You then saw a little stage set up behind them in the corner. This gave you an idea. "Hey, do you know how to play guitar to Franklin by Paramore?" you asked Caleb. He nodded but said, "It's the only song I know by them. But I only know the acoustic version, though. Why do you want to know?"

"Because there is a open stage right behind you. "

He and Seth turned around and both looked at the stage with a smile. "Seth knows the bass line too. We could probably pull off a pretty sweet acoustic set up. Should we enter the open mic?"

You nodded.

"It's tonight at 6. But if you're in it, you need to be here at 5:30," said the barrister.

"Okay, thank you," you said as you left the counter and sat down at your table. "There, we're entered. You guys have your instruments, right?"

They looked at each other and made a face.

"It's okay, Jess. I've got you guys covered. We all still have our instruments unpacked so we can let you borrow them for tonight."

"Thank you," you said and kissed him on the lips for a second before getting up. "Alright. I'm thinking we might need some practice in seeing as we've never played or sung together. You all know the words, right?"

They nodded their heads and Caleb said, "I can do the first guy harmony. Seth can do the higher part because he hasn't hit puberty yet,"

"What? Dude, that's not true," Seth retorted before punching him on the arm. Caleb held his hands over his mouth to cover up his laughter. Jade then said, "I feel like an outsider in this conversation,"

You frowned and said, "Aw babe, I'm sorry for leaving you out!" You wrapped your arm around his neck and laid your head on his chest. "Are you going to come see us tonight?" you said while listening to his heartbeat.

"Of course I'll go. I'll bring Adam's camera with me too so I can have memory of your talent...along with your friends talent as well," He smiled awkwardly as he got glares from Caleb and Seth. Then they all laughed as we went back to the hotel.

You all found yourself in your suite as you bundled the acoustic guitars together so you could practice. As Jade started out the door, you said, "Where are you going?"

He turned around and smiled warmly before saying, "I don't want to see you practice or it'll ruin the surprise I'm in for tonight. I've always wanted to see you on stage but I can never be the on looker. I'll see you tonight, okay?" He kissed you on the cheek before leaving you alone with Seth and Caleb. You smiled and said, "Let's get started, then!"

That night

You smiled nervously as you saw the crowd grow around the stage. You looked out of the corner of your eye and saw Jade sitting on a bar stool smiling at you. You suddenly felt a pang of anxiety. You really hoped your voice blended well with Caleb and Seth's voices. You sighed as you walked up onto the stage and sat down on the stool. In front of you, you put the words on the stand so you wouldn't forget them and make an idiot of yourself in front of everyone. Not like it'd be the first time. You looked down as Caleb and Seth sat down next to you and set up their guitars in their positions.

As he played the first few chords, you sucked in and sang," And when we get home, I know we won't be home at all  
This place we live, it is not where we belong  
And I miss who we were in the town that we could call our own  
Going back to get away after everything has changed

Could you remind me of a time when we were so alive?  
(Everything has changed)  
Do you remember that? Do you remember that?  
(Everything has changed)  
Could you help me push aside all that I have left behind?  
(Everything has changed)  
Do you remember that? Do you remember that?

So we stand here now and no one knows us at all  
I won't get used to this  
I won't get used to being gone  
And going back won't feel the same if we aren't staying  
Going back to get away after everything has changed

Could you remind me of a time when we were so alive?  
(Everything has changed)  
Do you remember that? Do you remember that?  
(Everything has changed)  
Could you help me push aside all that I have left behind?  
(Everything has changed)  
Do you remember that? Do you remember that?

Taking up our time  
Taking up our time  
Taking up our time  
It's taking up our time again  
Go back we can't go back at all  
It's taking up our time again  
Go back we can't go back at all  
It's taking up our time again  
Go back we can't go back at all  
It's taking up our time, taking up our time"

Caleb started singing before we all joined in, "Could you remind me of a time when we were so alive?  
Do you remember that? Do you remember that?"

Your voices all blended beautifully as you finished In harmony. You then heard uproar of applause mostly from the corner where AFI and their people's were. You smiled and bowed your head as you walked off the tiny stage.

"You did incredible! Your harmonies we so perfectly timed! That was your first practice?" Jade yelled as he picked you up and spun you around. You smiled and felt color rise in your cheeks. "I was so scared, I'd mess up in front of you!" you said enthusiastically. You heard him sigh and whisper, "I'm so in love with you," into your hair as he embraced you and wouldn't let go.

This was the first time he'd ever said "In love". I love you is one thing but In love with you? You felt something in your heart suddenly. Like, you couldn't breathe for a second before getting your breath back twice as fast. Then you realized something.

"I need air!" you screamed as you realized Jade was hugging you really hard.

"Oh sorry," he said as he released you from his death grip. You smiled at him as you caught your breath.


	12. Shotgun Wedding

The Next Day

You sighed as packed up the rest of your things. It was time to leave. You felt Jade come up and hug you from behind and mumble, "I don't want you to leave,"

"Well, I have to. But don't worry; I'll make sure you call me more. Trust me, I have connections." You stuck you tongue out at him as you lifted you suitcase. "Here let me help you with that," he said before snatching your suitcase from you. "It's not that heavy, you know. I can handle myself," you smirked.

He simply shook his and head and continued to walk to the stairs since we never seemed to use them.

We walked down into the lobby where Seth, Caleb, and the rest of AFI were waiting patiently. You then pursued towards to the vehicle and unloaded your things into the trunk. You then sat in the drivers seat while Caleb and Seth got in. Then you put the key in the ignition. Then you rolled down the window and yelled, "I love you guys! Emily says hi!" Jade then ran to your window and gave you a quick kiss and said, "Be safe and please don't drink anymore."

You nodded and backed out. You then put in an AFI CD and blared "TotalImmortal". You rocked out as you drove out of San Jose and headed towards Berkeley.

A Few months later

You sighed as you put your notebook down. Nothing was coming to you as you failed yet another attempt at writing a song. You got up and grabbed a pack of

Cigarettes as you went into the kitchen to get something to eat.

"Hey, need some help?" asked Schilling as she noticed your struggle to reach the top of the cupboard to get the noodles. "Yes, would you please?" you signaled as she grabbed the noodles with ease. "Damn tall people," you snorted playfully.

You then heard someone walk in as you looked and saw Lauren and Caleb walk in holding hands. "Hey, you two are early!" you called as you put the noodles in the boiling pot of water.

Caleb sat down on your bar stool as Lauren sat up on the counter. He then asked, "Have you written a new song yet?"

You sighed and said, "Not yet. I don't know, things have just kind of been blah lately. What about you? Any new lyrics?"

"Notta. My mind is completely jogged; maybe inspiration will come if we just leave it alone for a bit. "

You shrugged as you heard Seth come in. You knew it was him because he tripped over the front step like he always does. He is such a klutz.

"Hey Seth! Did you bring your guitar?" you asked.

"Duh. I bring it even when I don't have to,"

You smiled as you prepared the spaghetti. You put it in the strainer and stirred the sauce. As you poured the spaghetti back into the pot, you heard Geiger and Emily running downstairs. Emily has been living with you for 4 months since she wasn't really prepared to live on her own.

It turns out her and Geiger had a lot in common. They both are very shy when it comes to new people but are open about a lot of things. They're both artists and enjoy drawing people. In other words, they made a great couple. But lately they had been acting kind of weird like they're keeping secrets from me but oh well. It's probably nothing.

Everyone grabbed a plate as you all sat down in the living room. After you all ate, you stood up and said, "This is our last practice before our gig tomorrow night and we still haven't written a new song!"

Emily sighed and asked, "What's wrong with the songs we have now?"

"Nothing. They're short and they introduce us as a band but we need a song that really puts us out there. It's not going to be a pretty sight if we do a cover again like last time. They're giving us 4 songs since we're opening band and so far we've only got 3 short ones."

Seth raised his hand and said, "How about we do a Fall out boy cover? They're easy to sing and play."

"Hmm, that's pretty good idea. I can sing, "Tell that Mick he just made my list of things to do today" pretty well. You know that one?"

They all nodded.

"Cool, should we practice?" you asked.

"Let's do it," yelled Seth as he stood up.

You then plugged in your instruments and crap and practiced for a good hour or two before you got a surprising announcement from Geiger and Emily.

"We're getting married next month," she said excitingly.

"What? Are you serious?" you screamed.

She nodded.

"Oh my god, I'm so happy for you!" you said and embraced her.

"There was something I wanted to ask you, as well."

You nodded as she pulled you to the side. "Well, I want you to be my maid of honor because, let's face it, if it weren't for me meeting you, I wouldn't have ever met Nick."

You smiled and replied, "Of course I'll be your maid of honor. What kind of wedding is it going to be?"

She bobbed her head and said, "It's going to be on Halloween so we want it kind of traditional and simple but at the same time we don't want it to be ordinary and usual. We want it delicate and beautiful. Nothing too over dramatic. We were thinking we could have it at the rose garden inn in Oakland. It's a little expensive but it is absolutely perfect."

You nodded and took a few minutes to take it in. Emily was getting married to Geiger. You had to call Jade and tell him.

But as you turned to go get the phone, Emily also added, "I also wanted to ask you if you could possibly see if AFI could come play for us. They're more the Halloween based peoples."

You smiled as you grabbed the phone and dialed Jade's phone. It rang twice before it answered, "Can it wait?"

"No, Emily and Geiger are getting married!"

"What? Are you serious?"

"That's what I said! Yeah, next month on Halloween!"

"Oh, wow. That's awesome." He then paused to say a few things to who ever I just interrupted.

"Okay, I'm back. I just told the rest of the band. Are we invited?"

"Do you think I'd be calling you if you weren't?"

"Point taken. Okay, I don't think we have any shows booked and if we do, I'm really hoping it gets cancelled because I'm not missing the sight of you in a dress again!"

"Hehe, I'm the maid of honor. Theme says strapless."

"Oh awesome!"

:"Yeah, you guys so have to come! I love weddings! This will be my first time actually going to one!"

"Serious? Then we so have to pitch in and make it the best wedding ever!"

"Oh you guys don't have to spend any money on it, we've got it taken care of...sort of. But please I'd rather you not,"

"No I want to. I have everything I need and I don't really have any use for much of it other than food, clothes, and makeup! I'd much rather spend it on giving our friends a wonderful wedding. Done deal. I get somewhat of a break in 3 weeks. Should I come and visit you?"

"Yeah, it's August 28 now so in a few weeks we'll be approaching the last minute hustle of getting everything together. So by then, I will be getting my maid of honor dress. I get to stick out! Woohoo!"

"Haha, yeah. I can't wait. Talk to you soon, Jess. I love you!"

"I love you too, bye!"

Weeks later2 weeks until wedding


	13. What a beautiful wedding

...NOTE ...Yeah, I understand that it'd be hard to picture all this stuff in your head so I have pictures on my website on the illustrated version of this whole story. Like, theres a band descriptions page that shows what evryone looks like and stuff about them, because I know it's hard to remember all the characters after reading this much. So if you want to see the pictures and stuff, go to my profile page thingy and go to my website! and go to the obvious link. It has the dresses from the killing lights video shoot and it even has descriptions so, i guess there you go. Oh and it also has a picture of what Shaquell looks like because I made the charcter of my real friend Shaquell lol. but yeah. go there buh bye. buh bye...

2 weeks until wedding

"That is definitely the one you want, Jess," Emily said as you approached a beautiful dark blue strapless A-line dress.

"Uh huh. Should I try it on?" you asked unsure of whether it'd look good on you or not.

"Go for it, Jess."

As you tried it on, you looked into the mirror and saw that it looked really good on you. You did a little spin as you saw it looked great on all angles.

It looked great with your hair as well. You decided that this was the one yo0u wanted for sure. You couldn't wait to see Jade's reaction.

Now it was time to pick the bride's dress.

"There are so many beautiful dresses; I don't think I could pick just one," Emily said uneasily. You smiled and said, "Don't worry, just find the one that describes you the most. You're somewhat shy and delicate, so we'd definitely have to go with something like this," you pointed to a soft white brazier with small embroidery down the front but continued, "But you also have an edgy side on top of that so we'd need something like this," you pointed to a beautiful white dress that thinly embraced the upper body before lightly flowing into the layered flower design on the hem. In the back was a lace up, almost like a corset but more basic and friendly. The dress flowed efficiently as you watched Emily go try it on.

"That is the dress you are getting, bottom line. Geiger will probably cry, he'd be so happy," you said to her as she came out looking drop dead gorgeous.

"Oh, I'm so nervous about everything! I'm not having last minute doubts or anything but just coming out by myself is just intimidating. I can't stand having all eyes on me."

You smirked and said, "I don't think that's the part you need to worry about. Did you ever think about what everyone does on their wedding night?"

She blushed a little and said, "Yeah, I know. It's scary but I want to, even if it hurts. It's because I know he's worth it."

You frowned and said, "I wish I wasn't such a wuss when it comes to sex. I don't know anymore. I love him so much but that doesn't stop the fear. Couldn't it be easier if I waited till marriage?"

"It's working for me isn't it? Marriage makes it official, so it gives you the confidence to take it there. I'll give you details afterwards, though. It's better to learn fom someone with experience."

You sighed and said, "Let's go pay for these dresses. We still have bridesmaid dresses to do but the ones here aren't good so we should go to David's Bridal or Tj formal."

The dresses themselves, looked a little similar except they were pink and had a black hem thing underneath the breast line. It went well with the theme, which was pink and gray. So far, Emily had only picked 2 bridesmaids so far and was unsure of whom to pick for the third.

"Does Geiger have any family? Like a sister?"

She shrugged and said, "I know he has a step sister coming. But I don't really know her but I guess since she's arriving early, I can get to know her a little better before I randomly ask her to be in my wedding."

You nodded. Then after the busy day of shopping for dresses, you plopped down onto your couch and lay there for 5 minutes before you heard a knock on the door. You jumped up and ran to it and opened it. "Hey, you're early!" you screamed as you embraced Jade and led him inside.

"Ugh, I've been so damn busy for this wedding, I'm going to die if anyone else asks me about catering," you complained. You sighed and sat next to Jade and leaned on him. You found yourself staring at him, for you were in deep thought. "What?" he laughed. You shook yourself out of thought and said, "Oh nothing, I was just thinking,"

"About what?"

You looked down shyly, and said, "Marriage and stuff. I was trying to picture myself in 10 years."

"Oh I see...I can't really predict anything like that for me. I'm going to be in my band. This is who I am. Like if I ever have kids in the future, would I really be good dad if I'm always on tour?"

You nodded and said, "Yeah. As long as you cherish the time you get to spend with them, that's all that matters. Don't be afraid to live a normal life because you're in a band."

He smiled and leaned in and kissed you lightly on the lips. "Thank you for clearing that up for me,"

You then hear a knock on the door. You run up and open it to see a girl who looked your age. She had dark brown eyes and somewhat straight dark hair. She obviously wasn't related to Geiger by blood. She was black but very, very lightly colored. She was short, like you but had a very curvy stance. This must have been Shaquell.

"Hey, welcome! You're Geiger step sister Shaquell, right?" you asked.

She nodded and stared distantly as you led her inside. "So, did you get here aright?"

She nodded and said, "Yeah, the only bad part was flying. I hate flying in airplanes. I'd feel safer with my feet on solid ground!"

You laughed as you sat down at the kitchen table. She sat down across from you. You noticed that she hadn't acknowledged Jade yet so you figured you'd say something. "I noticed that you're wearing an AFI shirt. That's really cool since I know those guys personally,"

"You know AFI? Oh my god! I freaking love them so much. I don't know why but if I ever met Jade Puget in real life, I've always wanted to slap him really hard to see what he'd say!"

You sat there for a second before cracking up like mad. "Oh my god, that's freaking great. Oh, I can't wait until I see his face when you do that! I'd die laughing!"

She then paused and asked, "What? What do you mean when I do that? Is he here?"

You laughed and nodded and pointed behind her. Her jaw dropped, as he was standing right behind her. Then she went quiet for a second before standing up immediately and slapping him so hard the whole house went quiet and all that was heard was the horrible sound it made when her hand hit his cheek. He stood there extremely quiet while she put her hand over her mouth, not believing what she did. Then out of nowhere came this high-pitched, "Eeeeeeeeoowww!" coming from Jade. "Damn woman! That hurt like hell!"

You walked over to Jade and wrapped your arms around him and asked, "Do you want me to kiss it and make it feel better?"

He pouted his lip and nodded. You kissed him on the cheek and pulled away from him and looked at Shaquell. She just stood there blinking. "Are you two serious? Jade Puget is standing right in front of me and I slapped him! Fuck, I ruined the first impression!" She screamed and looked like she was about to cry.

"Hey, it's cool I'm okay and you're okay therefore, the impression is yet to set! Hi, my name is Jade. Nice to meet you, Shaquell. Shaquell is a cool name."

She looked up and smiled. "Hey, nice to finally meet you, Mr. Puget," She then turned to you and said, "Mrs. Puget,"

Your mouth fell open and you said, "We're not married,"

She interrupted you and said, "Yeah, I know. I'm just messing with you guys. Um, by the way, where is rest of AFI?"

You looked at Jade questionably as he said, "They're flying in tomorrow. Why?"

She blushed a little and said, "I am so in love with Davey. It's not even funny. To meet him...wow, I can't believe I have this opportunity. I feel giddy all of a sudden. Beware me. I'm horribly random. "

Then she added, "Oh my god! What if I screw up my first impression with Davey! Oh my god! I will cry!"

You grit your teeth and screamed, "Don't cry. Davey is a nice guy and he would understand!"

"Thanks. I can't wait to meet him...honestly. I believe we are made together! He is so much like me. I just wish I could take advantage of it. But he wouldn't like someone like me!"

"He might. He wants to settle down, you know?"

"Maybe. I'm just lucky if I even get to meet him. But it's not really that easy for me to talk to new people."

You nodded.

Then Jade asked, "How old are you, Shaquell?"

"20. Why? It's because I look younger isn't it?"

Jade made a face but shook his head and said, "No, I didn't think that at all...em, a little help Jess?" He nudged you slightly.

"Nah, you're like me. I'm small but I'm older than most people, honestly."

Then you heard footsteps as Emily and Geiger appeared at the bottom of the stairs. "Hey, Shaquell! I had no idea you were here already! How've you been?" Geiger said as he hugged her. "Good, I've just been talking to Jade and Jess about my hugest obsession, Davey Havok."

Geiger smiled and said to you and Jade, "Yeah, you see, she's been stalking him since she was in high school and now she's prone on marrying the guy. She's a little on the stalkerish side but her intentions are good. Er, most of them are good, anyways."

Shaquell then made a shocked face and punched him in the stomach before turning to Emily and saying, "So you're the girl he's marrying? That's cool. At least you're not ugly. If you were ugly, then I'd have to take this wedding into my own hands," before kicking Geiger in the shin making him fall on the floor in pain. She smiled at Emily who was silently laughing to herself before saying, "It might be useful having you around after all. I'm liking what I'm seeing so far," she laughed as she looked at poor Geiger whining on the floor. "Hey, we're short a bridesmaid, can you help us out by being the third?"

Shaquell smiled, and gladly accepted.

"You don't mind wearing pink do you?"

"Oh dear god! I have to wear pink? Sigh. Oh well. I'll live."

The next day...AFI arrives.

"Oh my god! I thought I was going to die on that plane, Jade! You weren't there to hold my hand and I just so scared!" Davey said as he walked out of the hallway leading from the plane. You looked at Jade weirdly and shook your head. "David, we would like you to meet Shaquell. She is going to be in the wedding as a bridesmaid."

He looked up and smiled warmly before extending his hand and saying, "Well, it is a true honor to meet you. The name is David X Havok."

Shaquell shyly steps forwards and reaches toward his hand before he snatches her arms and pulls her into a hug.

"We're going to a wedding! Aren't you excited?"

You laughed at Shaquell's shocked expression. As he let go, she seemed to crumble onto the ground. She then stood up immediately and screamed, "Touch me again and you will be forced to experience my ninja skills!"

Davey kind of stood there for a second staring blankly. Shaquell then smacked herself on the head and screamed, "Oh, tell me I didn't just ruin the first impression!"

Davey smiled and said, "Nah, you definitely seem interesting. I'm not too sure about these ninja skills though, explain to me."

She smiled and said, "Well, me and my friend at home made up a thing and we would say you're our ninja sensei and stuff. We're immature but it's great fun."

Meanwhile, Adam and Hunter were in the middle of a war with the vending machine. "It ate my money!"

"Kick it then!"

Shaquell noticed their struggle and ran and did a flying kick at the vending machine. She then did three punches in thee different spots before three coke bottles came out individually.

"Wow, I only paid for one!"

Shaquell then smiled and said, "There's a trick to it. I came in yesterday and mastered that. Their vending machines are different here! It's weird,"

Then Davey walked up to her and said, "I love you. You are now my official Ninja partner in Ninjology. Do you accept?"

She paused for a few seconds to leave him on edge, before answering, "What is Ninjology? I accept but I laugh at your pronunciation of Ninjology."

He smiled widely.

Skip to the day of the wedding

You sighed as you got into your dress. You had arrived in Oakland a day before so you could check in on the decorations and the catering and make sure everything was perfect. You strapped on your black heals and did your makeup. You made a dark blue line around you eyes before you applied mascara. You then put on pale foundation to match your skin tone. Then you had to do your hair. You curled it in tight curls and put it in a bun. The curls fell from the bun and fell directly into place as you put on some lip-gloss. You then walked down to the room where the bride was staying. As you walked in, you noticed she was applying her makeup. Her hair was curled tightly in the back but was laid down and separated by a beret. "Wow, you look like Christine from Phantom of the opera," you said.

"Thanks, that was what I was going for," she said as she finished up. You looked into the hallway to see people coming in. "Wow, there sure is a lot of people out there, this is going to be a beautiful wedding."

She nodded and said, "I'm so nervous. I set up my vows already and I don't think I can read them aloud."

"Oh don't worry about it. It's only going to be in front of your family and friends. They wouldn't judge you," you comfort.

You and the bridesmaids all got ready as you walked out the door and began walking to the music and stood in your places at the altar. You looked to see Jade and the rest of AFI sitting in the front row. This made you feel self-conscience. You smiled seeing AFI so dressed up. Jade was wearing what he wore to the MTV movie awards, which was a black coat with a pinkish scarf like thing. You smiled as Emily came down the isle. You looked to see Geiger with his mouth hanging open. He looked funny wearing his tux.

As Emily stood up to the alter, she grabbed Geiger's hand and stood and face him.

The priest then started by saying, "We join here today in merry matrimony to dearly be wed this couple for a lifetime of warmth, health, and love,"

Then he continued with, "Do you, Nick Elijah Geiger, take Emily Marie Costello to be your wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do you part?"

He turned around and looked at his groomsmen questionably as they all gave him thumbs up for laughs. "I do," Nick said confidently.

The priest then turned to Emily and said, "Do you, Emily Marie Costello, take Nick Elijah Geiger, to be your husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do you part?"

She looked to ground and then looked up and said, "I do,"  
"Now that the vows are settled, we move on to the passage. The exchange of rings. A circle is the symbol of the sun and the earth and the universe, of wholeness and perfection, and peace and love. It is worn on the third finger, because of an ancient Greek belief that a vein from that finger goes directly to the heart. These rings mark the beginning of a long journey together. Wear them proudly, for they are symbols which speak of the love that you have for each other."

Nick pulled the ring out of his pocket and said as he put the ring on her finger, "Take and wear this ring as a symbol of my love. With it I wed you, and commit my life to you forever."  
Then she put the ring on his finger, and said, "I give you this ring as a symbol of our love. With it I wed you, and give you my body, soul, and heart."  
Then the priest closed out with, "May your days and years to come be filled with the kind of integrity and joy, that will enable you to live through those times ahead which may be tough.  
And may your affection for each other grow, thus enriching and strengthening all of us. Nick, go ahead and kiss the bride."  
Nick then leaned in and kissed her affectionately as the crowd applauded. You held onto your flowers tightly as you watched them walk to the end of the isle together before she threw her bouquet over her head. You felt yourself get pushed forwards as the bridesmaid all dove for it. You then ran up and jumped up and caught it at the same time Shaquell grabbed it. "It's mine!" she screamed.  
"No way! It had it first!" you yelled back before snatching it away. You stuck your tongue out at her as she glared at you. "Here, if you want it so bad, have it! I caught it in spirit," you said as you gave her the bouquet.  
You went and sat by Jade and said, "You look so good when you're dressed up,"  
He then eyed you and said, "I must say the same for yourself. You know, this is a personal opinion but I am LOVING the strapless!"  
You hit him on the arm and smiled as you watched Shaquell give the bouquet to Davey, who looked obviously flattered.  
Davey's point of view...  
You knew you had liked her from the minute you saw her. She's cute and she's hilarious. She's a little bit random every once in a while but she is completely smart. The second she gave you those flowers; you knew you had to step up a little.  
"The reception should be quite interesting, wouldn't you say?" you asked her.  
"I guess. I know that my brother is going to play a cover of "Best of me" by The starting Line and he's dedicating it to Emily. Is there going to be any alcohol?"  
You shrugged and said, "Most likely. Do you drink?"  
She shook her head and said, "No, I'm completely avoiding alcohol ever since that last time..." She seemed to glare at the air, obviously indicating that her plus alcohol equals a scary time.  
"The reception is by the pool. I wonder if anyone's going to get pushed in,"  
Shaquell laughed and said, "There might actually be a reason everyone is changing out of these dresses and tuxedos. These heals are so uncomfortable. I think I'm going to go change too."  
You nodded as she walked into the hotel to go change. You decided to do the same and walked towards the men's room with the clothes you brought. You then changed into your black and white mesh shirt and tight black pants. You then walked out and found Shaquell again. She was wearing a black tank top and a pair of ripped blue jeans with a black hoodie tied around her waist. You smiled and said, "Tonight is going to be a great night for the married couple,"  
Shaquell then said, "Pervert. You know what they'll be doing, don't you? I'd rather not picture my stepbrother having sex. Ewww."  
You snickered and said, "I wasn't meaning anything like that. I was just saying it was going to be a great first night for them because it's got a whole new tomorrow. They will be able to spend their first night as a married couple. I mean, that's something special. They make a great couple. You're the pervert for thinking of it!" She blushed. You stared at Shaquell lazily as you put your arm on her shoulder. "I'm tired. Do you mind if I lean on you?" She shook her head and sat down on the concrete causing you to lose your balance and land on top of her. "Oh my god, I am so sorry!" you both said at the same time. "Wow, that was cool," you said.  
"Yeah, hehe," she laughed nervously.


	14. Dirty Little Habits

So as the reception started to get prepared, you waited around waiting for Jade and Jesse. It seemed that they were really getting serious. You hope it'd last a good while. You turned and found Jess sitting away from the reception and sitting on a bench. You saw something in her hand but you didn't know what it was until you got closer.

"Jesse, you smoke? Does Jade know?" you asked as you sat down next to her.

"Yes, I smoke. No, I'd prefer it if Jade didn't know. He'd be really disappointed in me and I don't like seeing him like that. It makes me feel like he looks down on me,"

You frowned and said, "So, why don't you quit?"

She sighed and looked down at her feet. "It's not that easy, Davey. I don't know why but it just keeps luring me. It's worse than cutting,"

"You used to cut?"

"Yeah sadly, I got over it when I met Jade for the first time after the car accident. My life was really crazy back then. Everything's happening so fast. From me going to warped tour and getting my lips pierced, dealing with my ex, singing onstage, being in your video, starting up my band, etc…Things are changing. I'm scared to change."

You put your hand on her shoulder and said, "Don't be scared. Jade is a great guy and he really does care about what you do to yourself. If he ever found out about the cutting, oh man, he'd be freaking out. Honestly, he's going to be mad if you don't tell him now. Don't make him find out on his own or you'll be in for a very dramatic night,"

You patted her on the back and stood up and grabbed the cigarette from her hand and dropped it and stepped on it. She whined a little as you then patted her on the head and said, "See you around, kid. I'll be seeing you, I promise. We need to have these heart to heart talks more often. I learn more about you everyday,"

Jess' point of view…

So Davey found out about your smoking habit. You really hoped he wouldn't hint anything to Jade or anyone else in the band. You then stood up and walked towards the party. You put on a hoody because it was getting a little cooler now that the day was almost over and the sun was about to set.

You looked around for Jade but you couldn't find him anywhere. You were starting to get worried as you noticed the entertainment was getting set up and Geiger was about to perform. You were starting to get a bad feeling. Maybe he was avoiding you. You really hoped that wasn't the case.

By the time you found Jade, Geiger was halfway through his song.

"Jade, where've you been? I've been looking all over for you!"

He looked up at you lazily and said, "Oh I was wondering places. I don't know, I felt like being alone…"

You frowned and said, "Jade, after we leave here tonight, I really want to talk to you about it something, okay?"

He sighed and said, "Okay," before grabbing your hand and practically dragging you to the stage they set up by the pool. Davey had to have said something to him or else he wouldn't be so agitated.

"Jade, is something wrong? Why are you so mad?"

He turned around and smacked your hand away. He threw his hand at your pocket and snatched your pack of cigarettes and held them up. By now Geiger had finished up his song and everyone was staring at the scene you two were making.

"Every time I turn around, you find some new habit behind my back!" he screamed before throwing the pack onto the ground.

You felt your eyes start to water as you tried to hold back tears before yelling, "I never meant to do anything behind your back! I was too scared to tell you that I started after you left before the shoot! After you lectured me on the drinking, I sure as hell wasn't going to tell you I smoke too!"

He made a disgusted look before walking away from the stage. You weren't going to let him walk away from you so you quickly followed him screaming,

"Jade, I know you better than this! What are you hiding? Why is this such a big deal to you?"

He stopped before he reached the street. You walked up from behind him and tried to put your hand on his shoulder but he jerked away and tried to hide his face with his hair. "Jade?" you said lightly. You turned him around and you saw he was crying.

"Oh my god, Jade…I'm so sorry," you cried as you let a few tear drops fall down your cheek. You tried to get close to him but he then wrapped his arms around you and grabbed you tightly and whispered, "Please don't do this to me. It hurts when I find out you're doing this to yourself."

As he pulled away he asked, "Is there anything else you'd like to tell me about the past or present?"

You sighed and said, "Well, when I met you, I was into a habit that was very destructive. But when I met you, I didn't really have a reason to do it anymore."

He looked at you confused. You sighed before rolling up your sleeves revealing your scars that led all the way up your shoulder blades.

You looked up to see the look on his face. He looked so sad. He blinked and you saw a tear come out. You lifted your finger and caught it before it fell.

"Jade, I'm going to change everything. If you can't handle this all, I'll quit. It's going to be hella hard. But I will do it."

You reached into your back pocket and felt for you switch blade. When you felt its metallic base, you pulled it out and said, "What I'm about to do is very random but it's going to help us work this out. I promise."

You grabbed it and switched out the blade. Jade's eye got big as you grabbed his hand and cut at the tip of his pointer finger.

"Jess, what are you, ow!" he screamed as you cut his skin. You then took the blade and cut your own finger and intertwined it with his. He looked at you like you were crazy.

You then announced, "We are now the same person."

You then pulled you finger away and put it in your mouth to suck the blood. You then whisked the blade through your mouth to get the blood off.

"If you have AIDS, I'm going to kill you." You warned as Jade laughed.

You wrapped you arms around his neck because you were worn out from yelling and crying. He then picked you up unexpectedly and started walking around.

"You're so light. You need a sammich," he said as you laughed at his pronunciation.

"Aren't you supposed to perform tonight?" you asked him. He made a face and set you down really quickly and pulled you towards the stage. He then let go of your hand and jumped onto the tiny stage. He grabbed his guitar and put it around him as he started the intro for Halloween as Adam kicked in on the drums.

You watched and smiled as Jade started hopping around the stage and sang along in the microphone.

As they finished up as you noticed the older visitors looking confused as the band started playing The boy who destroyed the world.

You started jumping up and down when Shaquell came up from behind you and started jumping with you. That's when Davey nodded for you two to come up when the music toned down and it was only the guitar playing before Davey started singing again. Then up came the chorus again. You and Shaquell put your fists in the air and sang along every time they sang, "Remember when, remember when, Never again, never again!" and "Oh, oh, oh, oh!"

You put up metal hands and danced to the song and jumped off the stage at the pickup again.

Then they were going to play one last song, which was He who laughs last.

You and shaquell, plus a whole bunch of people started to mosh as the song started up. You laughed as you shoved before you fell into the pool. For a second you couldn't breathe before reaching the surface and putting your now soaked hair behind you ears. Everyone was laughing at you as AFI did the guitar solo. Instead of freaking out, you put your hands in the air and did a dance to the song as it ended. You then swam to the end and got out.

You were dripping wet and soaked so you figured you'd go hug Jade, who was wearing his casual clothes. "Baby, I'm coooold," you whined as you tried to wrap you arms around him as he struggled to try and keep you off him. You stuck your tongue out at him and smirked before wrestling with his arms as he backed up into the pool. As he fell into the water, you turned around and put your hands over your mouth. "Oops," you cooed as you turned and watched him get out of the water.

He had a playful glare as he walked up to you and said, "This shirt is dry-clean only," in a smirk kind of way. You smiled widely and said, "Then take it off!" before you tried to take it off for him. But after you tried and failed to do so, you then were going to head to the bathroom so you could dry off. But not before, Jade came from behind you running to catch up but he slipped and grabbed you and you both fell in the pool yet again.

"Damnit, Jade. We did it again. You're a klutz,"

He smiled and licked his lips, "Yeah but you so love me for it,"

You smirked and said, "You're right! I do!" You then proceeded to completely attack him and kiss him over a million times all over his face.

"Ahhh, I'm being loved to death!" he screamed.

You smiled and got out of the water and unzipped you fitted hoody revealing a black tank top.

You eyed Jade seductively, as he climbed out of the water and stood on the step below you. He then stepped up a stepped and stood behind you and rubbed your arm up and down. People started leaving as you just stood there in your own world.

Davey's point of view…

You sat on the stage with Shaquell on your side.

You both sat there sighing as you watched Jess and Jade together. "They had their first lover's quarrel and they're back to their old selves again. They are so lucky to have each other."

Shaquell then looked up at you and said, "You really like the concept of love don't you? You've been mentioning things like this all week. You know what? You need to find a girl who is sweet, smart, and definitely cute."

You raised an eyebrow to see what she was getting at. "Where could I find a girl like that who'd be interested in me?"

She looked down at the ground and blushed slightly before saying, "Well, I'd be interested in you. You're everything I thought you'd be and more. Plus, you're drop-dead gorgeous. Why wouldn't a chick be into you?"

You felt a smile starting to crack but before it did, you said, "Do you see that girl over there. Emily? That was my last girlfriend. It didn't work out but we're still good friends. I'm the 'just friend' guy."

Shaquell breathed in and muscled up the courage and said, "Well, you know what? I'm the 'just friends' girl," then sat up and kissed you lightly on the lips. You started to kiss back when she pulled away. She had a smile on and she blushed a little before you smiled and grabbed her hand.

"I think we might be able to work something out," you said as you both got up to leave.


	15. What a night

Jess' point of view…

You opened your eyes to see that you were lying on your bed. What happened last night, you thought as your memory of last night recollected.

Last night...

"Jess, there's something I've been wondering," Jade said as he kept his eyes on the road.

"Yeah, Jade?"

"It's kind of embarrassing that I'd even think this at all but, do you really think we might get married someday? I mean, honestly, the thought horrifies me. I just can't see it happening to me,"

You had looked down and sighed before saying, "Jade, do you think people see themselves being married? It's just something that happens. You may not be ready now but someday that will be the final step. And it'll be perfect."

He smiled and grabbed your hand with his free hand while keeping the other one on the steering wheel.

While driving through the intersection, you looked to make sure Jade was paying attention to the cars but he kept on driving. A car appeared out of nowhere and hit the front side of the car causing your car to spin out.

You breathed heavily taking in the shock of what happened.

"Jess, are you okay?" Jade asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine, what about you?"

"I'm okay; I'm just a little spooked is all,"

You looked at him and said, "Car crashes really seem to follow us, huh?"

He nodded, "Damn, this was a rental too."

"That sucks. Well, now I really want to go home because that was scary."

He nodded as he started the car up again and drove to your house. As you got out of the car, you surveyed it to see the amount of damage.

"Wow, that doesn't look too good," you said. You then continued with, "You completely zoned off there for a while. What happened?"

He shrugged and said, "I don't know. I just fell out of it all for a second. I'm just so glad it was minor and that we didn't get hurt. I don't know what I'd do if you got injured."

You felt a small smile creep across your face as you walked toward the door motioning him to come with you.

As you entered your house, you realized the others hadn't gotten back yet.

You decided to take advantage of it by running upstairs and turning on the radio in your room. You turned and smiled at Jade, who was standing in the doorway, as "Lips of a angel," by Hinder filled the room. You moved closer to him as you put your arms around his neck and kissed him passionately.

He moved his arms to your hips as you backed up and fell on to the bed. You stared at him as he lay on top of you staring back with the same intensity. You breathed heavily as repositioned yourself so you were a little more comfortable.

Jade then closed his eyes and kissed you very softly as he took off his jacket. You smiled as his blonde bit of hair brushed the side of your cheek. He then started to kiss your neck. You giggled as he readjusted himself so he wouldn't fall off your bed. As he started to kiss the side of your lip, you started feeling sheepish. But you decided you'd lighten up a little so you licked your lips, ending up licking him on the cheek. He then scooped you up and sat down so you were on top of him.

You were starting to take off your hoody, when your door slammed open causing you to jump and fall onto the hardwood floor.

"Ow," you whined as the light went on and you looked up to see Davey staring wide-eyed.

"Um, did I disrupt something? I'm not liking the glares I'm getting so I'm going ro leave you two alone... Come on, Shaquell," he said as he turned around and shut the door behind him.

You sighed and looked up at Jade who then said, "Is it just me or did that totally just kill the moment?"

You made a sympathetic look and said while getting up, "You can say that again. Oh well, we'll just have to try it another time," before kissing him on the forehead and straightening out your shirt.

You and Jade then walked downstairs to see more people than you'd thought there'd be. You saw the rest of AFI, Shaquell, and Caleb, Lauren, and Seth. You rubbed your eyes at your tiredness as you walked into the living room.

"What were you guys doing up there? God, you two keep getting further everyday, I swear you're going to get married or something," Davey said.

You shook your head and said, "Davey, where were you? We ARE married."

He turned and did a double take before saying, "W-What? When was this?"

You shook your head and kicked him for interrupting you and Jade. "You're a moment-killer David. Jade should dump your skinny ass. He's got better priorities now," you then kissed Jade on the lips as everyone in the room made noises of disgust. "Pfft, when will you children grow up?" you sighed as you sat down on Jade's lap as he sat down on the arm of the couch.

You then noticed Davey was holding Shaquell's hand. You pointed it out to Jade and he smiled like a little kid who saw mommy kiss Santa clause.

"So, speaking of growing up...I think our little Davey is becoming a man," Jade snickered as Davey looked up in shock.

"I hate you guys. You totally just got me back!" he screamed.  
You looked at Jade and smirked and said, "Oh, not even close. You haven't seen anything yet."  
He made a grim look as he looked at Shaquell. You then laughed at them because they made a cute couple. But you wouldn't tell them that.

"Sigh, I'm so not ready to go back to my normal schedule. I was starting to like preparing for this whole wedding and now it's over," you said, changing the subject from couples. You heard slight moans as everyone agreed with you.  
"So now what? Geiger and Emily are getting busy as we speak and we're sitting around doing nothing. Should I get a movie out?" you asked. They all answered in unison as you got up to get the movies. But as you started to walk away, you felt a small tug on your hand. You turned and looked to see that Jade was playing with you by not letting go. You smiled and pulled your hand back and ran upstairs to grab Man on Fire.

2 hours later...

"Wow, that was really sad." Jade said sniffing a little bit.  
"Yeah, I'm like depressed now," said Davey. Shaquell was lying on the floor crashed. And everybody else in the room was either sleeping or crying up a storm.

You sighed and stood up so everyone could see you as you said, "Alright, that movie was a letdown. Let's all keep our spirits high as we try and figure out something that will lighten us all up."

Adam, Hunter, Davey, Caleb, and Seth all looked at each other and smiled suspiciously. "How about truth or dare?" Seth spoke up. You looked at Jade who was distantly staring at the wall (?). You put your hand in front of his face to get his attention.  
"What?" he said as he looked up at you. You looked at him dully and said, "Jade, everyone wants to play Truth or dare; What do you think?"  
He looked at you and said, "I don't care but there's not enough girls here to make it worth it."

You then tried to think of a way to make it more even. "Well, Schilling is coming home soon so that'll make five girls. Davey is in both, since he's too girly to be a guy yet too manly to be a girl. That makes it even!" you laughed hard as you dissed Davey in front of everyone. He gave you a mean look before he broke out laughing. You then said, "I told you I'd get you back for disrupting me and Jade in the midst of our relationship upgrade!"  
Davey raised an eyebrow at you as you started to blush. Everyone then started to laugh at you for spilling your personal life to the whole room.

You then looked to Jade and you put you head into his shoulder to cover up your redness. "Jade, make them stop laughing at me!"  
Jade laughed then converted into his "manly" mode as he stood up and raise his fist in the air and yelled, "Silence!"  
But that only made everyone laugh harder as he sat down and said, "I'm sorry, I did all I could."

Then after everyone settled down a bit, you all started your game of truth or dare. You started it by daring Adam to go streaking outside. He did it all right but not very willingly. He then asked Lauren, "truth or dare?"  
She then kind of looked around as if trying to pick one or the other. She then called out, "Dare!"  
Adam put his hand to his chin as he tried to think of a good truth. " I dare you to pick anyone of your own gender and try to melt a piece of ice using only your mouths.

Lauren had a look of despair on her face as she looked around the room for someone to do it with. You, Schilling, and Shaquell were the only girls so it was going to be one of you. You closed your eyes hoping she wouldn't pick you because you just didn't want to be involved. You have had several chances with experimentation. It was something you really didn't want to reflect on.  
"I pick..." she started as you felt yourself wincing. "Jess."

Damnit, you thought as everyone in the circle ooh'd as you made you way unwillingly across the circle towards her. Jade got up and got a piece of ice out of the kitchen and threw it to you. It missed and hit you on the head.  
"Um ow? That kind of hurt," you said as you picked up the piece of ice and stuck it in your mouth. You winced as you neared Lauren's face.

Jade's point of view...

"Oh wow," you said as you saw the two's lips collide. You felt a sudden cringe inside of you as you got up and ran to the bathroom before anyone else could notice. You went and got some cold water. You then came back as they were getting finished. You sat down and laughed as they pulled away and could not even look at each other. Then as she scooted back towards you, she asked where you had gone. You bit your lip and bent down to whisper into her ear.

Her reaction was, "Oh. Oh man. Really? That would suck to be a guy."  
She then busted out laughing while everyone just stared at her wondering why she was laughing. She then yelled out, "Jade got a little excited down below!"  
Everyone busted out in tears laughing especially Davey. His makeup ran down his cheeks. Your face turned a little pink before you yelled out, "Shut up, you guys! Seriously, it's not that funny! You know what it's like, Peanut!"

Davey then stopped laughing. Then he shuddered as he remembered the horrid event that happened years ago and how he inherited the nickname. "Okay, let's move on," he said seriously. But Jess insisted that he tell the crucial story out loud. He shook his head and said, "Next dare!"  
Lauren smiled and said, "Davey, truth or dare?"  
He smirked and said, "Truth,"  
"Okay. Tell us all your most embarrassing story,"  
He gasped and glared her a look that said, "You cunning little..." as he pointed at her. He then sighed and gave in and started by stating, "Once this story is revealed, none of you have any right to judge me for it or change your opinions on me."

Then he started, "Okay. This was about 3 years ago after Sing the Sorrow became old news and we just starting to work on December Underground. We had gone back home in Berkeley to work on the album but we had a small break in between so we went to Great America amusement park. Well, we going on the big roller coaster and we were standing in line when this really, really cute girl came up to us and said, "I'm your biggest fan! Davey, can you sit with me on the ride?" I thought I'd be nice and accept but little did I know she was really afraid of heights. So like, the whole time we were on the ride, she was clinging on to me and when we went in the tunnel, she kind of grabbed my...yeah. But I was like in the middle of a hard-on because, I don't know why but dark places make me feel weird. So as soon as we got off the ride, she looked at me disappointed and held up her finger and her thumb together and said, "Peanut." I was so embarrassed and the guys haven't stopped giving me crap ever since." He ended as he made another sigh as Shaquell sat there wide-eyed. "Trying...not to...crack...hilarious comeback. Can't,contol...harsh comment..."  
She then held her head to keep her from saying anything. Davey then looked at the ground sadly.  
Shaquell then got up and put her arms around him and said, "Don't be so sensitive. Size doesn't really matter and besides, I'm sure you've changed a lot since then!"  
Davey looked up at her and smiled his famous panty-dropping grin. Shaquell smiled and started playing with his hair. They made a cute couple, you thought as you started to get tired.

"We're not all staying here tonight, are we? That's like 11 people!"  
Caleb and Lauren shook their heads. "No, Lauri is staying at my place tonight. Seth has got work tomorrow so he's going to head home too. And I do believe that Schilling said something about you letting Shaquell sleep in her room while she goes home with Seth. I think they secretly have something going on but they won't tell anyone about it. Hmm."  
You smiled at the thought of them as you turned to Jess and said, "Babe, where am I sleeping tonight?"

:"Where do you think? You're sleeping with me! I have a double bed! It might be a little cramped but if you get too uncomfortable, there's always the couch."

You smiled contentedly as you heard the words you've been waiting to hear. Sleep. With. Me. Romantic, are you? You shook your head and remembered that sleeping with someone usually meant sleeping in the same bed not actually going all the way. Of course, you knew which one she meant but it doesn't hurt to plan ahead for the future...Wait a second. Plan ahead for the future? Does that mean you're ready to take it to the final step?

Jess' point of view...

"What a night," you thought as you turned over to see Jade laying next to you peacefully sleeping.


	16. Good Morning to you too, Bitch

...This is sooooo short i know but this is all i could think of!...

You heard the sound of Jaded by Mest filling the room as you got up and sat on the couch. You started singing with the familiar tune while you waited for Jade to wake up,"

"I'm Jaded, stupid and reckless, not sorry, and I'll never forget these years..." you sang as your voice flowed with the song. You then heard a rustling as you heard Jade wake up.

"Morning, star shine, the earth says hello!" you greeted.

"What?" he moaned as he fell off the bed. You winced as he hit the floor, taking all the blankets with him.

Then he instantly stood up only wearing boxers. You smiled and said sarcastically, "Real sexy, hun. Need some help with that?"

He looked at you confused then looked down and said, "Oh jeez!" as he grabbed a blanket and covered up his "morning wood".  
"Shockingly, I'm getting used to the fact that you are only a man. And it happens but realistically, it could be happening less," you said a little arrogant.

The Jade got an attitude and said, "Well, it could be happening less if you'd stop being so stubborn," then he stopped and said, "Wait, I didn't mean that. Jess-"

You glared at him and said, "So I'm stubborn huh? You're damn straight I am. Say that again and we'll see how much of me you'll be getting," you said as you walked out the room.

Harsh, you know but, for some reason after last night, you were feeling cranky. You walked into the bathroom and looked in the mirror. You had blackheads everywhere. "Oh god, not again. I thought I got rid of them this time," you said as you washed your face.

You then noticed a little stain on your pants. "Oh, hell no. Not today!" you turned around and looked at the calendar. "That time of month again!" you screamed louder than you meant to.

"Jade, I think there might be-" you walked into the room to see Jade looking at the blood-soaked sheets. You looked down because you were embarrassed. As you looked at him, he gave you the one raised eyebrow look, which wasn't a good sign.

"I'm sorry, I didn't look at the date today," you said not looking him in the eye. He sighed and walked over to you and hugged you and said, "It's okay. You're only a girl, after all. This happens to girls. Embrace it," you smiled at him before he added, "Plus, it gives you a damn good reason for snapping at me this morning!"

You looked down ashamed for bitching at him. In a way, he had a right to what he said after you judged his male behavior. "I'm sorry, you're going to have to learn to handle my bitchiness. It's all part of a relationship right?"

"Of course," he said confidently.

You then went and changed out of your icky clothes and into some fresh ones. You then stepped into the hall and saw Davey and Shaquell peeking out into the hallway. You eyed them suspiciously as they peeped in and out. You then walked into their room and asked, "What are you guys doing?"

They looked at each other oddly as Shaquell says, "We were seeing if you and Jade were fighting, we hear everything, you know?"

You sighed and informed them, "Let's just say I woke up this morning with a little bit more than I expected and it caused a little after effect but everything is okay now."

Shaquell nodded like she understood but Davey sat there clueless. "What?" he mouthed to Shaquell after you turned around. She then whispered in his ear what happened.

"Oh, haha. I see. Women are such an interesting topic," he said, then yawned and said, "I think I'll pass on the lecture of womanhood, thanks," before going back to sleep.

You shook your head as you walked downstairs. You grabbed a bowel and poured yourself some cereal. As you poured the milk in, you dipped your spoon in and out several times to make sure the cereal was in the milk.  
"Why do you eat apple jacks when they don't taste like apple?" asked Jade as he sat down at the counter in front of you.

You glared at him and said, "Because, I just do. Okay?"

He made a cat sound and hissed as he clawed his hands around. You sighed and said, "Sorry. I'm just agitated this morning is all. I hate when I'm like this,"

He smiled and said, "It's okay. Really, its fine with me. I just love to see you mad. You're so damn cute when you're angry!"

You still glared. He then climbed over the counter and kissed you on the lips and said, "I love you. Don't you ever forget that."


	17. Broken Heart Birthday

Later in band practice…

You laughed as you put Jade's guitar around yourself and started playing a few strings. He laughed and stood up behind you and put his fingers on the strings and started busting a guitar solo.

"Look, I'm awesome at guitar!" you screamed as you took the guitar off and handed it to Jade and said, "I wish I was as good as you at guitar!"

He smiled and started playing AC/DC "Long way to the top,"

You laughed and grabbed the mic and sang the first part of the song. He smiled as you skipped around him enthusiastically.

After you got done screwing around, you and your band got together and were about to play a cover of Fall out boy's "Dance Dance"

You got ready as you got your microphone and took deep sighs to get your voice prepared. You then sang the first verse as Jade and the rest of AFI and Shaquell watched.

They laughed at your cool moves as you ran from side to side.

After practice, Jade said, "Hey, in a few weeks, it's going to be our anniversary of the first time we met! We're having a concert that day though in Sacramento. I know you've been to a bunch of these but this one is going to be really special. I promise,"

He smiled widely as he grabbed your hand and looked at you with pleading eyes.

You sighed and gave in and said, "Okay, I'll be there. But what can be so special? It's special every time we're together."

He laughed and kissed you on the cheek as he walked away with his band to go back to work. 'Boys," you sighed as you sat next to Shaquell.

"So, what's the deal with you and Davey?" you asked smiling. She blushed a little and said, "Oh, things are just blooming. I'm so glad that I made the first move. I don't think it would've turned out so good if I didn't. But thing's now are just like a dream."

Next 2 weeks and 1 week before concert…

You smiled as you finished the final touches on Jade's birthday cake. He was turning 33 tomorrow and you wanted to make it really special for him. You then put the cake in the freezer since it was an ice cream cake and then you grabbed Jade's present.

"Arf arf!" you heard from the bag. "Shhhh," you said to the little Chihuahua.

You then put it on your bed. "Now, are you a boy or a girl?"

You picked it up and hung it over your head to check. "I can't tell," you said to yourself.

"Well, either way, I think I'm going to call you Havok."

The next day, you drove to the hotel where Jade was staying with the cake and dog.

You ran up the stairs of the hotel and knocked on his room. The door opened and you saw Jade standing there with his hair all messy as if he just woke up. "Happy Birthday!" you said smiling as you held up the puppy to him.

"Wha-What? Are you serious? A dog? What's it's name?"

You smiled as you pet the little dog and said, "Havok."

Then just at that moment the dog jumped out of your hands and ran into the hotel room and onto the bed where it then started attacking the pillows. "What a little troublemaker," you said as you grabbed him.

"Ow, it bit me!" you yelled as you dropped it onto the floor. Jade laughed and kissed you on the lips and said, "Thank you for the little bastard dog."

You smirked and asked if he was going to have a party.

"Eh, I didn't set anything up but I think the guys might have something planned. Otherwise, I don't think I was doing anything."

"Where are the guys anyway?" you asked.

"Breakfast downstairs, I'm assuming. Those assholes didn't even try to wake me up."

You giggled and grabbed his hand and pulled him downstairs with you.

But as you walked into the breakfast hall, you saw a crowd of people who all turned around in cue as you walked near. They all shouted, "Surprise! Happy Birthday Jade!"

You looked at Jade and saw his face was completely surprised. "Oh, wow you guys. Did you set this all up?"

Davey nodded as he walked towards you. He smiled and said, "We brought a bunch of Despair Faction kids as well. They all want to meet you, Mr. Puget," before leading Jade to them, leaving you alone standing there.

You stood there, clueless as you went and walked towards Hunter and Adam.

"Hey, you guys! It's been forever since I got to talk to you alone. So what is new?"

They looked at each other and shrugged. Then Adam said, "Nothing really. Just watching underage fan girls get drunk."

You looked at him confused. He then pointed at the bar where you saw 14 year old girls sneaking shots. You laughed and said, "That might not be too good. Someone might get busted."

You continued talking to them for a few hours before you started to wonder where Jade was. You started to look around for him but you couldn't see anything because everyone around you was so tall.

But as the group of people cleared up, you saw something that made you want to throw up. You saw Jade pushed up against a wall kissing some girl from DF. He looked up shocked and said, "Jess, this isn't what it looks like, I swear!"

You dropped the dog you had still in your hand and screamed, "You want to know what I think? I think this is over!"

You ran out to your car, your eyes drenched with tears. As you got in, you saw Jade running after you. You locked you door as he banged on the window trying to get your attention. You just sat there sobbing and shaking your head in disbelief. You couldn't believe this happened.

You saw that Jade was on his knees as he yelled, "Jess, she came on to me! Please believe me! I would never ever do this to you!"

You shook your head and moved to the other side of the car and got out and ran towards the street. You ran, not knowing that a car was coming at you.

Hahahahahahaha, cliff hanger! Don't worry, though, new chapter soon


	18. A Concept of Question

Jade's point of view…

"No!" you screamed as you watched the car impact Jess. You ran into the street after you witnessed it and grabbed her limp body and cried, "I'm so sorry, Jess. There was nothing I could do," you repeated over and over as you cried over her unconsciousness until help came.

As you sat in the hospital waiting room, you constantly reminded yourself that this was your fault. You waited miserably as the nurse approached you and said, "She's doing stunningly well despite her injured ribcage. She has a lot of will after all. You're Jade, right?"

You nodded as you thrived to hear more good news.

"She has a severely injured ribcage but she's very lucky that she didn't break it. The doctors are currently running several drugs into her so that she'll be stable enough for the procedure."

You nodded. She sighed and said, "I can't guarantee you any visitation today but maybe if you arrive early tomorrow, I can work something out with the doctors…She mentioned you, Jade. She wanted me to tell you…that she loves you and that she believes you about what happened at the party. She was just scared."

You sniffed and said, "Thank you, maam."

You then stood up and hugged her, throwing her off guard. But you soon released her to go on to her duties. You then sat down on the chair and waited.

"Hey man, I came as soon as I could. How is she?" Davey asked as he sat down next to you. You sighed and shook your head and explained to him Jess's condition.

He sighed and said, "I'm sorry about everything, Jade. I thought having the fans there would be a good thing,"

You interrupted him with, "Do you want to know why I did that? I honestly have no proper explanation other than, I knew that was what she wanted and for a second, I gave in. As soon as I came back into reality, Jesse was standing there. I know I upset Jesse really bad and she has all reason to hate me, but damnit, she better not die!"

You sighed yet again as you waited for more results.

Jess's point of view…

You sighed deeply as you opened your eyes. You were lying in a bed.

"Where am I? What happened?" you tried to scream but it came out a discrete whisper as you tried to get up but there was a great pain holding you down. You lied there trying to remember what happened. You ran out of the car and into the street…Did you get hit?

Then all of a sudden, little memories of the surgeries and the pain came back to you. You remembered the effect of the gas causing you to ramble on and on about everything.

You then felt a small tear slide out the side of your eye as your mind led to Jade.

You then shook yourself from the gut-wrenching feeling of betrayal. Then a nurse came in and suggested that you get more rest. You then asked her, "Is there a man out there named Jade? I want to see him," before she turned to leave. She looked at you sympathetically and said, "Yes. He's been here all night. I might be able to allow him to see you for a short time."

You sighed and wondered what Jade was thinking. Was he scared or hurting for you? Did he feel guilty for doing this to you unintentionally?

You shivered as he walked into the room. You noticed that he looked like he'd been crying endlessly.

"Jade," you said in a slight whisper. He looked at you in the eyes. You saw that his were bloodshot. "You look like shit," you said with a little laugh. He smiled and said, "I'd say the same for you but you're probably looking better than I am. How are you feeling?"

You readjusted your position and said, "Honestly, I feel horrible but maybe because I'm used to being able to move freely."

Jade didn't say anything. You then said, "I'm sorry I ran from you. It was the immediate reaction,"

He interrupted you by saying, "It's not your fault so you shouldn't be apologizing. It's my fault for letting that chick have her way with me. I should've stopped her. But when I came into reality, you had already seen what happened. So I didn't have anytime to explain."

You mouthed, "Oh," as you felt a little guilty for over exaggerating everything.

He sighed but smiled and said, "You had every reason to freak out, Jess. Imagine it the other way around. It's pretty much the same situation,"

You shrugged but laid back down as fatigue overcame you. You fell asleep.

Jade's point of view…again

Jess got better over the course of time and there were only a few days until the concert. You really were trying to convince the doctor to let her out for a few days mainly so she could be there for your concert. You so were ready and especially since this happened, it only made you want her more. You had to protect her OFFICIALLY.

Jess's point of view…

Tired, you let out sigh. Emily was coming over today and you were thriving for details on her wedding night experience. Maybe it was girl instinct to insist on the manifest session.

As she walked in the room and sat down and you smiled and said, "Hey, Mrs. Geiger, what's up?"

She rolled her eyes and said "Not much, I'm just visiting your crippled corpse. Stupid, you can be so naïve sometimes. "

You shook your head an asked, "So, tell me details on your big night. What was it like?"

She smirked and looked around before bending down to whisper in your ear.

As she finished every detail, Jade had just walked in the room. You looked at Emily and busted out laughing. Jade just stood there confused. You shook your head and said, "Hey Jade, where've you been? You haven't been visiting near as much!"

He smirked and said, "I've been super busy with the concert coming. This is one of the biggest ones we're having in a year. Plus, I had to persuade your doctor to let you out for that day. I can't believe it, tomorrow night, huh?"

You nodded enthusiastically as he sat down next to Emily.

"So how's the whole marriage thing? Its it as good as it seems?" he asked obliviously.

Emily sighed and said, "It's fine, I've only had over a million people ask me about since I came back from my honeymoon."

Jade laughed and looked at you and gave the warmest smile.

"What?" you asked.

"Nothing…just thinking. Hey, we're going to have to start driving early tomorrow so we might want to get you a little earlier than we thought. Rest up; it's going to be a long drive."

Jade's point of view…

You sighed as you walked into the privacy of the studio for a last minute meeting with your band about the concert.

"What am I going to do? I'm so nervous!"

Adam suggested that you play a love song. You shook your head while Hunter and Davey suggested a small little speech of how much she means to you and stuff.

"Man, I'm really proud of you for doing this. I think you two really have a good thing going. I say as your friend and band mate, go for it!" Davey gushed.

You smiled confidently and said, "Tomorrow, I propose to Jesse!"


	19. Proposal

Jade's point of view….still

You're horribly nervous about tonight. And of course, that leaves Jess utterly clueless and unaware of everything you're doing. She was so stubborn and naïve but you found it amazingly cute. It gave you those little girly giggly moments inside every time she spaced out. She had very selective hearing.  
You sucked in a deep breath as you approached Shaquell and Davey. Davey had her pinned up against the tour bus as he brushed her hair behind her ear as she smiled at him. He was right about to kiss her when you felt an urge to interrupt with, "Um, hey you guys."  
Davey glared at you as Shaquell cluelessly greeted, "Hey Jade! I heard about your proposal! Aren't you nervous?"  
You abruptly said, "Shhh! Keep it down! I don't want it to spread, but yes, I'm unbearably nervous about it. What if she's not ready! I'd be a failure with the whole world watching!"  
Shaquell then quieted down and said, "I know how she is and I know she's going to be surprised and confused. But I promise you that whatever her answer will be is going to be the right choice for both of you. No matter how clueless she can be sometimes."  
Davey looked at her with wide eyes. "Damn, Shaquell, I'm very impressed with you. Despite how out of it you are, you surprisingly can give good advice."  
She punched him in the arm and started kissing him slowly as you turned and said, "Okay, that's my cue to leave," before walking away towards the backstage area. You had to prepare for sound check soon and you were hardly feeling up to performing when your gut felt like it would explode.  
You then grabbed your guitar and started playing a song that'd you'd started to write but could never finish. You lightly started to strum as you started to sing, "This is the start of something I never had beforeuntil I laid my eyes on you. You painted these pictures into my head of all the things I never knew. But you never ever had a clue  
Intense devotion doesn't know the truth  
Cured figures could never understand the few  
People that they never knew  
This heart it aches without showing up with you"  
You closed you eyes and tried to think of more to write. "Wow Jade, that was a beautiful song, is it for Jess?"  
You turned around and saw Lauren standing there smiling. You looked down shyly because she heard your song. You looked up and said, "Um, you weren't supposed to hear that…it's not done…"  
She smirked and sat down next to you and said, "I can read you like an open book. It's a nice song and I know it's for Jess. Don't be scared tonight, Jade. We all are pulling for you,"  
You smiled a little relieved that everyone believed it would work. You hoped to God it would.  
Eventually it was time to go on stage. You were going to perform a few songs before and right in the middle of everything. You had already planned what you were going to say and even though inside you were scared, you knew you had to do this.  
As you walked on that stage, you felt a slight jolt of confidence as you played the first song. The despair factor.  
You then continued through the rest of the few songs until you reached the halfway point. You sucked in and said, "Alright, you guys, I love you guys and appreciate you guys so much for coming out tonight. Now, I'm about to do something really weird, but you're going to have to follow along with me on this okay?"  
After getting several answers from the crowd, you then spoke firmly into the microphone, "Now, I want you all to chant my girlfriend Jess's name until she comes up! She doesn't know I'm doing this, so it might be a little difficult to get her up here for what I'm about to do. Can you help me out?"  
The audience cheered before starting to chant "Jess," over and over again. You then saw a red spark from the corner of your eye. You smiled as you saw her approach shyly onto the stage.  
"Jess, I love you so much and I know that this is possibly the most unprofessional way to approach this but," you paused and said,  
"Jesse Elizabeth Hansen, will you marry me?"

Jess's point of view…

Your stomach dropped as you heard those words echo over the suddenly quiet stadium. You couldn't say anything. You couldn't breathe. You actually could feel the tears run down and you couldn't tell if they were tears of joy or tear of confusion. You turned a looked at the crowd. You could feel their eyes lie on you alone as they pressured you for an answer. You stepped forward toward Jade and you literally fell into his arms, you were so in shock. He just stood there holding on to you for what seemed like hours before you finally whispered in his ear, "Yes," and he released you from his grip as you walked offstage completely dazed. You then heard him call over the microphone, "She said yes! Oh my god! Alright, we're AFI and this song is called, "The last kiss"!"  
You went and sat backstage. You rested your chin on your palm wondering what just happened. You sighed and thought about it excruciatingly as your head yelled at you all the reasons why'd it be better to wait. But you didn't care anymore. He actually had the guts to ask and that was all that mattered. You shook your head still in disbelief.  
"Did you say yes?" asked Shaquell as she walked up with Lauren. They both sat on either side of you. You nodded and said, "Yeah I said yes but now I'm horribly confused. This should've crossed my mind sooner. I should've known he'd propose. I so was not prepared for this. And you all knew?"  
They nodded. Lauren then said, "Man, you are so lucky to have someone as dedicated as him. You know how I've been with Caleb since I first met him and how he is great but I don't think anyone compares to the real connection you two have. I envy that,"  
You smiled and said, "If I'm so lucky, then why won't this confusion go away?"  
Shaquell then said, "It's because you're in definite denial. Is it really that hard to believe that he wants to spend his life with you and have his children with you?"  
"Maybe, it's harder than it looks. I love him so much but is this really what happens in the end? Or will something just end up screwing everything up and leaving me alone?"  
They both sighed as Lauren said, "That's life. You don't know what happens but if you believe in true love, it'll all fall into place."  
Shaquell then stood up and said, "When you see him tonight after the show, all that confusion will go away and you'll be so happy you won't even be able to speak. You two are going to push your limits tonight," then Lauren stood and smiled before saying, "and by that, we mean, you two better get the sex over with because if you wait any longer, you're both going to seriously talk yourselves out of it. We mean it this time. No interruptions but anyone. Just you two,"  
They both sighed. Then Shaquell said finally, "Love is such a wonderful subject…anyways I'm going to go find Davey now because all this great friend advice is giving me a headache."  
Lauren then added, "Tell me about it. Damn you smart people wearing off on me. I'm going to go find Caleb. Later Jess."  
Then they both left you alone, leaving you to your vacant thoughts.

You cringed as you heard AFI say their final thank you as they paraded backstage. You suddenly felt a presence as you looked to see Jade sitting next to you shyly.

"So..." he started, not sure what to say. You felt a tiny girlish instinct flow through you as you grabbed his hand and lay on his chest. You suddenly felt really confident.

"Jade, I think I'm ready. You know what I'm talking about," you said firmly. His eyes widened as images flew through his mind. He smiled and said, "Let's go home."

You nodded.


	20. Losing the thing I was born with

..Note.. Alright, this obviously has a sex scene in it so if you think that this is going to kill the mood of the story or that this is just not good, please just skip to the next chapter because honestly, you don't have to know what happens EXACTLY in this part to go on with the story nomally. Oh and for those of you reading this part, please understand that I have never ever had sex and probably have no clue what i'm talking about at this part but I made it as realistic as I could understand. it's short i know. but I wasn't going to make it all lusty and stuff so I made it barely considered "mature content" That's all i have to say. read or skip chapter. oh and one last thing. Um, this actually happens over the course of an hour not just 5 minutes like it takes to read. figured i'd point that out.

After the long intense drive home, you opened the door to your home and inhaled the still air in its emptiness. You smiled as you ran up the stairs and into your bedroom. You clicked on the radio and heard something corporate, "As you sleep."

You turned around and saw Jade looking at you with the most loving look on his face. You felt so lucky as you walked toward him and wrapped your arms around him as you passionately kissed him. Your hands swarmed up his back as you began to take off his shirt. You started to take your jacket off as you felt his hand sliding up you shirt. You then fell back onto the bed but you sat up and timidly took off your shirt but smiled at him. You then stood up in only your jeans and bra as you unzipped your pants halfway and whispered, "I'm all yours,"

He then put his arms on your shoulders and lightly lowered you down on to the bed. You felt your pants slip down as you breathed deeply as he positioned himself on top of you. You shivered as your sweat was exposed to the air. You felt exposed as you found yourself partly undressed. You heard him whisper a few words to keep you calm. You felt suddenly relaxed as he gently and slowly entered your body. You breathed heavily as he paced himself. You closed your eyes and winced as you felt something inside you rupture. He breathed a breath of relief as he whispered softly in your ear. You felt an amazing feeling come over you as he grabbed you waist and continued with this drive.

After he pulled out, you both laid on the bed side by side dazed. Jade shook his head and said, "Of every girl I've slept with, I think this was definitely the best one of all of them. That was...amazing,"

You felt a tear run down your cheek as you said, "Jade, I love you so much...don't ever leave me,"

He then turned his head and put his hands on your cheeks and whispered, "I won't. I won't," as he kissed you firmly on the lips. You then laid there in shock of everything that happened over the course of a few hours. This was real, you said to yourself. Every bit of it was real.


	21. The Morning After

The next day you awoke to a very perky Jade as you put your jeans on. You tried to make the bed but every time you did, Jade would jump on it and mess it all up. You then mumbled, "Why are you so upbeat?" You were feeling like crap shockingly. You felt dirty and used. You weren't used to this new feeling.

He then stopped hopping around and said bluntly, "I just got laid for the first time in a year! Hell yeah I'm happy!"

Then a question hit you, "Jade, you used protection, right?"

He stopped hopping and looked up at the ceiling trying to remember. Then he said, "Yeah, I did. Sorry, had to think about that for a second."

You sighed in relief and said, "Good, because if you didn't, I'd be pissed!"

Then he snickered and said, "You'd be pregnant...hehe. Don't worry, I promised not to knock you up on your first time!"

You glared at him for a second before smiling and putting your arm around his waist as he put his arm around your shoulder. You were wearing a black tank top with black fishnets underneath along with your tight light blue jeans. Jade was wearing dark blue jeans and his denim jacket over his pink f-minus shirt. You looked cute together as you walked downstairs. Jade sat on the couch as you lay down with your feet towards the end with your head on his lap. He then winded his fingers through your hair as you giggled from his touch. Then you heard the door open as you lifted your head to see whom it was.

"Someone obviously had an interesting night. Care to explain?"

It was Davey and Shaquell. They came in and sat down on your chair.

"How do you know? We might've not done anything," you said trying to see how they knew. Shaquell laughed and said, "It's obvious. You look like hell and he can't stop smiling,"

You punched Jade on the arm as you sat back against the couch. You sighed as you looked out the window to see it was storming outside. "Oh I love the rain!" you said as you grabbed Jade's hand and ran outside. You then noticed Shaquell and Davey running after you. You smiled as you became drenched with water. Then a loud crack of thunder came and was so loud, it made all of you jump and run inside.

"Oh my god. That scared me so bad. I hate it when it cracks out of nowhere," you said as you grabbed a towel and put it over you hair. You then all laughed as Davey shook his hair everywhere and looked like a shaved rodent.


	22. Some secrets are better kept unsaid

"Jade, should I be nervous?" you asked him as he continued to push you up to the front door.

"No, they're just my parents…" he mumbled. You felt a chill go up your spine and he pressed the doorbell. You heard footsteps as the door swiftly opened revealing a short dark haired woman. You smiled nervously as she screamed, "Oh my god, Jade you're home! Oh I've missed you so much!" and embraced him. "Oh and who's this?" she said pointing to you. He swallowed and said, "Mom, this is my fiancé, Jesse Hansen."

Her jaw dropped as more screaming came as she embraced you saying, "Oh my god, I cannot believe Jade's finally getting married! I'm so happy!"

"I…can't…breathe!" you cried. Jade then said, "Eh mom, you're kind of…"

"Oh! Sorry dear, I'm just so excited! Wait until I tell your father!"

You noticed Jade twitched on the word father. You wondered if he had some bad history with his dad. You shook the idea and walked inside the house. It smelled really nice and was well furnished. Jade grabbed your shoulder and whispered, "If my dads tells you anything about me, don't believe him,"

You looked at him in disbelief but continued walking as you found yourself in the kitchen. You noticed Jade's father was a lot taller than you'd expected after you saw his mom. "Dear, look who's finally visited home. Jade's come with a fiancé."

He coughed and said, "I'm surprised the boy can get a girlfriend after that last time…"

Jade glared at him. You looked at him confused. The man then laughed and said, "I'm just screwing with you. You take things so damn seriously sometimes. Lighten up," and slapped him aside the back. Jade looked as if he just got the air knocked out of him. You gave him a look of, "please try to stay calm," as he sighed and walked into the living room.

"So, how are your parents, Jesse?" his mom asked. Jade made a face smacked himself on the forehead. You looked up and said, "They died…"

"Oh, I'm sorry! I was just kind of thinking,"

"Oh, I understand. Its fine, they died when I was too young to understand so it doesn't really get to me," you interrupted.

She nodded and sat down across from you and said, "So, tell me about yourself. I want to know everything about the girl who stole Jade's heart,"

You smiled shyly and said, "Well, I'm 21 years old and I am a part-time photographer,"

Jade looked at you in disbelief and said, "You're a photographer? When was this?"

You looked at him slyly and said bluntly, "Jade, I don't really get paid for playing small gigs. How do you think I'd be paying for my house?"

He bit his lip as you shook your head and continued, "Anyways, I also play in a band but that's not really permanent. I'm looking into animating since I haven't really taken my drawing skills anywhere yet. I don't know. There's not much about me…"

"What are you talking about? You're amazing. You manage the ability to have a social life on top of working for money and providing yourself with anything you need. You're not afraid to tell people if they're slacking or behind in rent because you're focused on supporting yourself. That's called proper management. If there's anything you should be looking into, it'd be producing."

You kind of just sat there looking at him confused. "What?"  
He sighed and said, "That's the thing about you, you don't think that you're good at thing so you easily avoid getting an ego. Face it, you're invincible."

You stared at the ground sadly. It felt weird that he'd be saying all this stuff after you failed to find the reason for everything before.

Then his mom spoke up, "Well, now I fully understand why he's so into you. Jade's always had a soft spot for naïve girls because he found it better when they were less experienced and less aware of what goes on. It makes for better conversation."

Jade nodded and said, "Jess, I'll admit, you're pretty naïve but you're not stupid. You know exactly what you're doing; you just don't care if other people don't."

You smiled and said, "Now I see where Jade gets all his mannerisms from,"

Jade laughed and said, "Cha did I not tell you that my mom taught me everything I know?"

You all laughed until his mom said, "Jade, I know how you don't get along your father but can you please just try to get along with him for this weekend? The last thing we want is some huge fight. I know a lot of the time he starts it but you can't let him get to you so easily. It only makes him more satisfied."

Jade sighed and said, "I'll try to be better about it but if he says one thing to Jess about me, I swear he's going down,"

You grabbed Jade's hand and smiled sympathetically but really you were wondering what it is that Jade's dad would be able to say to you that would mean so much to jade if you didn't hear.

You went upstairs into Jade's old bedroom. It was covered in posters of old bands and chicks. "Nice walls," you said lightly. He chuckled and said, "The good old days?"

He then lied down on his bed. You then went and lay on top of him and rested your head on his chest. You then mumbled, "Jade, what are you afraid that your dad will tell me?"

He then got up really fast causing you to fall off of him and onto the floor.

"He won't tell you anything!" he screamed. You frowned and stood up dusting off your black pants. "What's so bad that he can say that I already don't know about you?" you yelled in reply. He looked down and mumbled, "Nothing," and instantly lied back down on the bed. You sighed as you watched him close his eyes and fall asleep. You felt really sad and you knew he was hiding something from you. You got up and stood over him and kissed him lightly as you walked out of the room.

You went into the bathroom, which took you ages to find, and washed your face. You looked up in the mirror and saw your lip quiver. "What the hell? Why am I so sad?"

You shook off the feeling and walked downstairs and into the living room where you saw Jade's mom and dad. You sat down in the armchair quietly trying to avoid eye contact.

"Why what's wrong dear?" she asked softly. You shook your head and answered, "Nothing, I'm just tired is all."

She smiled but still had a concerned expression in her eyes.

Then his father said, "So, what is it you see in that boy?"

You looked down and said, "He's sweet and he has a lot of heart in him. He's funny and he's not afraid to do anything. He's everything I'm not. I'm nervous and self-conscience and I try to think for myself more than for others. He completes me."

He kind of stared for a second, "I wish that he didn't hate me so much. I don't know him at all. He won't let me get to know him. He's too damn stubborn,"

You nodded and then said, "I don't know what he's hiding. I wish he'd tell me…"

His parents sighed at the same time. You then heard footsteps as you turned around and saw Jade walking down.

"What are you guys all talking about?" he asked as he walked into the living room and sat on the arm of your chair. "Nothing, just about wedding stuff," you lied.

He smiled and kissed you on the cheek. You then sighed and said, "I think I'm going to go to sleep here soon. It was a long drive down here, you know?" He nodded and let go of you so you could go upstairs. You felt something eating away at you as you walked into his room. You still were worried about what he was hiding but you let it slide and fell asleep.

A few days later…

You found yourself digging around in Jade's room. Lately he has been really suspicious and you were aching to know why. But suddenly when you stumbled upon a dirty old pamphlet, you suddenly wished you weren't so nosey. Inside the pamphlet read, "You are invited to the wedding of Jade Puget and Marissa Festa"

You twitched and read on. By the time you got done reading it, you were pretty much drenched with tears. He never told you about getting married before…did he even get married at all?

You just sat there sobbing into your sweatshirt.

"Jess?"

You looked up. Jade stood there looking really hurt as he looked down at the tear-stained pamphlet.

"Jess…I can explain…" he said and tried to reach out to you but you pushed him away and angrily mumbled, "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I couldn't…it was one of my worst mistakes…"

He tried to get close to you but you smacked his hand away and ran out of the room and out the door.

Jade's point of view…

You punched the wall before walking downstairs and running outside to see if you could find her and explain to her what happened years ago.

You see, you were supposed to get married to the love of your life Marissa Festa. You had been with her for so long you figured marriage would be the 'final step'. But after awhile, your feelings toward her had fallen away. But you didn't want to just leave her alone in this world. You figured she deserved so much more so you tried to believe that you loved her. It ended up that last minute that you two were about to be wed, you just couldn't do it. You felt like something was missing…and you left all of that life behind. You couldn't even remember the last time you spoke to her.

But how could you explain that to Jesse?


	23. Sudden Occurences

Still Jade's view...

"Son, you knew this was going to happen," you heard your dad say. You sighed and stared at the ground and whispered, "I know,"

"Well, what are you going to do about it? You're not just going to sit here, are you?"

You looked up sadly, "I've done this to her way too many times, I can't just run after her again. She's probably sick of my crap by now…"

Your dad shook his head and said, "Son, don't be so stupid. You love that girl. I can see right through you and you're not going to leave another one at the alter. I think I need to tell you a story about something that happened to me years ago. You've never heard this because you're so stubborn, but it'll definitely mean more to you now then it would've back then,"

Jess's point of view…

You lay upside down on a slide in the middle of a park you ran to. You felt warm tears run down your face mixed with cold rain from the sky. You thought about everything. Was there an explanation or is this really just over? This could never be over. You couldn't even imagine yourself being alone. And a love like this would never be over because of something like this.

You waited for the right moment. You knew Jade would come and find you and everything would be okay again. You waited and waited. He was coming right?

You felt your heart drop as the sky grew darker and there was no sign of Jade coming for you. You tried to get out of your awkward position as blood rushed to your head and you fell of the metal slide and cut your cheek on the way down. You watched a crimson red drop of blood fall onto your black and white striped shirt. You lifted yourself out of the mud and leaned against the ladder of the slide. Then out of the banks of your mind, you thought up few words of exactly how you felt at that moment. Before you were aware of what you were saying, they slipped out unconsciously.

"Lover, I am lonely," you said as if it were a reflex. You then spit as if it were an insult to say something like that after what had happened and the fact that he refused to show up.

But something inside you made you want to sing. As you found yourself barred in the empty wasteland that came to you familiarly as December Underground, you felt a lapse of song come out of you in the form of Love like winter.

"It's in the blood. It's in the blood. I met my love before I was born. He wanted love, I taste of blood. He bit my lip and drank my war from years before,"

You shook your head in disgust. "What is wrong with me?" you screamed out into the nothingness. You felt more morphine tears slide down your chin as you slid down onto a bench. You slightly fell into an unconscious state due to the heavy rain and your lack of warm clothing.

You were completely out and in a state of motionlessness as his boldly stood above you. He had taken hold of your limp body and had taken you to the warmth. The thought came through your mind, am I dead? But of course, it wasn't true. Eventually you had opened you eyes and you were in Jade's bed. As you tried to get out, you heard his voice say, "You shouldn't do that. You have a really bad fever and you don't want to use up all your energy.'

You smirked and tried to stand up anyway but as soon as you stood, you suddenly felt dizzy and fell back onto the bed. You saw him smile to himself as he came and sat next to the bed. He sighed and said, "So I might as well explain what happened a few years ago, huh?" You nodded as he started to explain. By the time he was done, you started to feel stupid for freaking out so much. You sighed and said, "I'm sorry for having one of my moments over it. I honestly thought you and her had gotten married and that you had gotten divorced or something and that you had simply jumped from her to me and that this was…" he interrupted you by kissing you softly on the forehead. You then lay back against the pillow and felt all the blood rush to your head.

"Get me some Tylenol, I feel like crap," you demanded. He obeyed and walked out of the room. You sighed and made yourself comfortable as he walked back in with a glass of water and an extra strength Tylenol in his hand.

You smiled and took it willingly as he left the room leaving you alone to your thoughts.

You rested for awhile before waking up and going downstairs. You noticed Jade and his dad sitting together at the kitchen table. You found this odd so you sat down and overheard their conversation.

"So what happened next? Did you and mom ever get to see each other again?"

He sighed and said, "Well, it turns out she was getting married to a man named Jack Boone. It truly made my heart sink imagining her life in 20 years living with another man. It hurt so much and I had completely thrown my life away, drowning my sorrows and becoming an alcoholic."

Jade frowned and said, "That's obviously not how it ended up. G on and tell me what happened."

His dad raised an eyebrow and asked, "You're really interested in this story? I didn't think you'd find it so amusing,"

Jade laughed and turned around and saw me sitting there.

"Jess? Come over here and listen to this story."

You looked around before getting up and taking your place at the table. Then his dad continued with, "Well eventually, she figured she needed to get away for a while and she needed to check on my condition. It turns out we ended up only falling for each other all over again. It really ended up really choosy on whether she should stay with me or go off with her fiancé. And that is how you were born."

"What?" he yelled.

His dad started laughing as Jade sat there confused. Then he piped up and asked, "Then where did Gibson come into the picture?"

His dad sighed and said, "That's a story for when you're older…"

"But I'm 33 years old!"

You smiled. You were happy that Jade was finally interacting with his dad. You wondered if your fight had something to do with it. Maybe.

Well, eventually you guys had to part as you geared closer to your wedding day. You still felt a little nervous and confused but you were almost dead on that this was what you wanted. But then came another problem.

A few months later…

"What?" asked Jade in the car.

"I don't know for sure yet, Jade. I have to go to the doctor and see,"

He sighed and started to panic. "What are we going to do if you are pregnant? I'm not ready to be a father!"

"Don't overreact. I might not be pregnant, you know."

He sighed and sat back in his seat. He tried to take that in as you drove vigilantly.

As you reached the clinic, you approached the building with caution. You had scheduled an appointment ahead of time and you were praying for decent result. But the results you ended up with were as shocking as anything.

"Twins? How can I have twins? It hasn't even been that long to develop!" you screamed as the doctor shook his head and said, "It only takes 5 weeks for a baby to fully develop all it's organs and functions. But it's only this big,"

He held up his thumb and pointer finger together closely.

"We cannot figure any genders out but we're for sure that you have twins."

You sighed and stared at the ground as you tried to define exactly what this meant in your mind. You couldn't abort them. That would be brutal. But you weren't even married to Jade yet and already you were having issues. He wasn't ready to be a father…does this mean he's going to leave you?

After you found out your results you walked into the waiting room and sat next to Jade. "Jade…I'm definitely pregnant…" you started as you heard him sigh heavily.

You then started again, "Jade, I'm pregnant…with twins,"

"What?" he asked with his jaw wide open as you saw the eyes roll to the back of his head as he passed out.

"Jade? Oh come on! Wake up! God damnit, you think this is hard for you to take? Imagine having to HAVE the baby!" you screamed at him as you slapped him several times before he woke up.

"I'm so confused. How long ago did this all happen?" he asked.

You then explained, "Jade, remember that little pre-honeymoon thing you had set up for us?"

He stared blankly and said, "Are you serious?"

You nodded.

"There were plenty of signs after that but knowing how damn clueless we can be, we didn't even notice," you stated.

He shrugged and said, "Well, I guess I'm going to be a father then…wait, are you sure it was mine?"

You stared dully and said, "Well, you're the only person I've slept with in the past few weeks so I'm assuming it's yours."

He chuckled.


	24. Chemicals React

You felt sheepish as you walked through the front door of your house. You noticed your friends all piled on the couch and looking at you awaiting your result.

"So, what were the results?" you heard Lauren ask.

You couldn't even look up at them. You screamed, "I don't want to talk about it!" and you let go of Jade's hand and stomped into the kitchen.

"Alright, I think that speaks for itself," Lauren said. Shaquell then asked, "Can I be its aunt?"

Davey smacked his forehead as Jade sat down on the couch and said, "There's two of them,"

Everyone turned and stared wide-eyed as they all took in the news. Davey swallowed and started to ask, "What happened, man? Did you use proper protection?"

"Yes, I did. I don't know what happened but something didn't work like it should've," Jade interrupted obviously agitated. He sighed and put his head on his palm. He bit his lip as he stood up and walked into the kitchen to see how you were doing. He came in and noticed you leaning against the refrigerator quietly sobbing. You turned around and cried, "Jade, I'm scared. I wasn't prepared for this at all. I don't know what to do!"

He swallowed and grabbed a hold of you as you slightly broke down. You then looked up to see Davey had gotten up and walked into the kitchen. Jade then let you go as Davey hugged you comfortingly and whispered in your ear, "It's all going to end up just fine, I promise."

You then reached up and whispered back, "You're a horrible liar, David."

He rolled his eye and said, "I'm serious! I tell you this because you're a good friend of mine. I mean, you trust me, right?"

You smirked a little bit as you gave him an untrusting look. He gave you a shocked look before saying, "Excuse me? If it weren't for me, you guys probably wouldn't have even gotten together! I'm the one who gave you two couple therapy before you ever even started officially dating! So nyah, you can't say shit!"

You smiled and said, "Thanks Davey, you know I love you!"

Then you licked his cheek. He shuddered and asked, "Why must you always do that?"

You let your eyes roll to the ceiling dumbly as you then answered, "I don't know maybe because I like licking people,"

He shook his head and said, "I'm surprised you're joking at a time like this,"

You frowned and punched him on the arm and yelled, "You ruined my sudden jolt of bliss, you pessimist bitch!"

"Who are you calling a bitch you bitch! Jade, you better keep your dog on a leash!" he yelled before getting a slap on the head from Jade. He flashed one of his famous smiles as he smirked and walked back into the family room.

As you walked alongside Jade into the room, you saw all eyes turn on you.

"Wow, so you're pregnant with twins? You're going to have some sexy children," said Schilling. You gave her an eerie look. She smiled and said, "Well, you are. You're like a freaking model and Jade's like…damn."

You smiled and said, "I couldn't have said it better myself!" You then grabbed Jade by his collar and pulled him until he fell over the arm of the couch and landed directly on your lap. You felt his lips collide onto yours as you felt his weight on top of you.

"Wow, that was like a scene from a movie," you heard Shaquell say.

"That was random," Davey said in reply.

You all started laughing.

You head then shifted onto the memory of your last sexual encounter with Jade.

.:Flashback:.

You had been so happy. You felt a little nervous as Jade led you to his room. He watched your eyes the entire time as he unbuttoned your shirt. You didn't know why this made you feel so nervous after this had happened so many times but this was different kind of nervous. You felt so contented with his relaxation.

As his lips fell onto yours, you watched intently on his movements. He was so synchronized with his actions as it flowed naturally through him. You closed your eyes as his warmth soothed your knotted stomach. "Jade…" you whispered under his pressure. You felt his weight on top of you as you erased your mind of all thoughts. You embraced the silence. He shifted his weight as he moved and caressed your caressed you outer thigh. He then changed his speed a little bit in way that left both of you panting.

He the nuzzled your chest innocently as you smiled and nestled your face into his soft hair.

.:End Flashback:.

You make me feel out of my element  
Like I'm walkin' on broken glass  
Like my worlds spinnin' in slow motion  
And you're movin' too fast

Chorus  
Were you right, was I wrong  
Were you weak, was I strong, yeah  
Both of us broken  
Caught in the moment  
We lived and we loved  
And we hurt and we joked, yeah  
But the planets all aligned  
When you looked into my eyes  
And just like that  
The chemicals react  
The chemicals react

You make me feel out of my element  
Like I'm drifting out to the sea  
Like the tides pullin' me in deeper  
Makin' it harder to breathe

We cannot deny,  
How we feel inside  
We cannot deny

Were you right, was I wrong  
Were you weak, was I strong, yeah  
Both of us broken  
Caught in the moment  
We lived and we loved  
And we hurt and we joked, yeah  
But the planets all aligned  
When you looked into my eyes  
And just like that  
The chemicals react  
The chemicals react

Kaleidoscope of colors  
Turning hopes on fire, sun is burning  
Shining down on both of us  
Don't let us lose it (don't let us lose it...)

Were you right, was I wrong  
Were you weak, was I strong, yeah  
Both of us broken  
Caught in the moment  
We lived and we loved  
And we hurt and we joked, yeah

We lived  
We loved  
We hurt  
We joked  
We're right  
We're wrong  
We're weak  
We're strong  
We lived to love

But the planets all aligned  
When you looked into my eyes  
And just like that  
Watch the chemicals react  
And just like that  
The chemicals react  
(The chemicals react)

.:NOTE:. The reason I posted the lyrics to "Chemicals React" by Aly and AJ is because I feel like this song summarizes everything that has happened since the beginning of my story. It's a great song and it gave me a little inspiration on this chapter so yeah.


	25. Tonight I wanna Cry REVAMPED

You sighed as you hopped into the shower stall. As you felt the hot water pour for a few minutes onto your skin, you heard your phone ringing. You moaned and grabbed a towel and wrapped it around you and answered, "Hello?"

"Hey, this is Marissa Festa. Um, I was wondering if Jade was with you?"

You paused and took a deep breath as you said, "No he isn't. He's on tour right now."

"Oh, okay. Well can you maybe tell him I called? I know it's been a while since we last spoke but I'd really appreciate it,"

"Okay, I'll tell him," you said sadly and hung up. You exhaled and walked downstairs.

Why did Marissa call you of all people? How does she even know about you and Jade?

You then started to wonder if she wanted to get back together with him. It wouldn't be a surprise because Jade did promise to marry her and he should keep his word. You started to worry as more thoughts ran into your head. You tried to shake them off but they kept reoccurring into your thoughts.

You then decided you weren't going to tell Jade she called at all. You know it would hurt her feelings but you didn't want anything to come between you and Jade.

But still something remained on your mind. What would happen if Jade got in contact with her?

About 4 weeks later, Jade had called you from his cell phone. He had called and told you that Marissa had called his cell phone and they had a great conversation about how their lives are now.

"Jade…do you still love Marissa?"

"What? Why would you think that? I mean, I used to but it's different now,"

"I don't know. It just seems like everything is different between us now and that she was really important and maybe you should follow through with your promise,"

"What are you talking about, Jess? You're not going to break up with me. Not after all that's happened,"

"Well if following a promise means leaving me, maybe you should go. I mean, you obviously don't want to deal with the twins any more than I do! So maybe, you should leave!"

"But I don't want to Jess but if you're telling me to go, maybe I should! Jess, I cannot believe you're doing this! What happened to everything we've gone through? Why would you think that after all that, I'm just going to go back to my old girlfriend?" He yelled angrily.

You didn't know what was going through your mind. You were pushing him away and you knew exactly what you were doing. You hung up. You didn't have an answer to his question.

He then called back several times but you didn't pick up. You didn't know what you were doing. You were giving him an opportunity to go back to her. It was like you wanted him to leave. But inside you were dying and in pain.

You had walked up to your room and lay on your bed and stared at the ceiling. You felt your lip quiver. You had grabbed your phone to listen to your messages. There was one from Jade that made you cry. He sounded like he'd been crying as it said,

"So, it's really over...I don't know what's going through your head right now but this is possibly the hardest thing I've ever gone through. I tried to talk to Davey, but he demanded that I hand him my cell phone so he can yell at you at how crazy you are for doing this. What are you going to do about the pregnancy? You're not going to be able to take care of them by yourself and I want to be involved as much as possible! You're not being very reasonable with this whole thing. You don't understand how much I love you. But if this is what you want, I guess it would be worth dying over…"

You felt the tears roll down your cheeks and onto your pillow. You rolled over and off the bed as you stood up and started pacing your room.

"What am I supposed to do?" you screamed while smearing your makeup. As you paced, you tripped over a box. You recognized this box. You then opened it slowly as you saw that beautiful razorblade. Your eyes widened as you saw your hand reaching for it as you tried to stop yourself. The next thing you knew was that the little razorblade was sliding across your skin leaving crimson lines on your pale skin. You raised your now sliced arms and let the blood touch your lips. You felt yourself feel satisfied as you gleamed at the fulfilling taste. You then heard a knock on your door which made you jump causing you to accidentally cut your palm. You pulled your white long-sleeved shirt down over your arms. But you had cut deeper than you had expected to and it bled through and dripped onto the floor.

You stood up and grabbed a hoody and threw it over as you opened to the door to see Schilling standing there looking confused.

"Hey, is everything okay up here? I heard you crying. What happened?"

"I broke up with Jade," you sobbed.

She looked at you angrily and demanded the reason why.

"Marissa deserves him more than I do. She got hurt in the process of him leaving and she deserves all of him now," you tried to explain. She just shook her head and yelled, "He would freaking die for you, Jess! Can you imagine how much pain you probably just caused him? How could you do this to him?"

She then stomped downstairs. You felt another tear go down your face. You let your friends down too. They're all going to be so mad when they hear the news. This only made you even more depressed as you went and locked your door to your room.

You had a bottle of extra strength Tylenols sitting on your end table. You stumbled over to them and decided to take a few to numb the pain in your arms. The next thing you knew you were completely numb. You fell asleep as the night shifted its way towards you.

The next few days passed by horribly. Your friends wouldn't even speak to you so you were completely alone between your four walls. You had barely eaten and you were starting to get dazed. But you didn't have any motivation to get up.

But when you did, it was only to stare out the window and testing your mind range. You got up and stood by the window and opened it and sat out on the rooftop for a little while. You placed your hands on your stomach as you stared into the distant sunset.

"A few more weeks…" you whispered into the air.

You then started to feel dizzy. You felt yourself ready to puke as you bent over let it all out of your system. You looked down and noticed it was all stomach acid. You wiped the sweat off your face as you blinked a few time to get the vision back in your eyes.

But this sickness was like morning sickness at all.

You got up, despite your weakness as you crawled back in though your window.

You snatched the bottle of Tylenol and yelled, "Why isn't it working? Maybe, I'm not taking enough," before popping a few down your throat. Within a few minutes, instead of relief, you felt everything start to feel blurry. You tried to stand up and walk out the door but you collapsed and fell down the stairs. You screamed in pain as you held your stomach from the impact. You felt tears stream down as everything started to black out.

:.Jade's point of view.:

"What happened?" you screamed into the phone. You hear them swallow and say, "Well, apparently she wasn't eating enough and on top of that was trying to kill the pain by taking more Tylenol. But it ended up that she overdosed easily because her weak state and then fell down the stairs. She in ICU and they're not giving us any good news… We also found out that she started another habit. Jade, she was cutting herself. Because of this, we think she might've been purposely not eating in order to kill herself and the twins. I'm really sorry, Jade. "

You sighed as you felt your eyes watering. Then you asked, "Did they give you any news on how the twins are? Are they okay?"

You heard them sigh as they said, "We haven't been told anything about the twins."

You growled and punched the wall and screamed, "Damnit, I need to know!"

You heard them breath an agitated sigh as they snipped, "Jade, is there any way you can get here? They're only allowing relatives in!"

"I'll be there," you said and slammed the phone.

"Jade, is everything okay?" you heard Marissa ask. You turned and stared her in the eyes as you said, "No. Jess is in intensive care because of me. No one is telling me any good news. I have to be there. I mean, she is pregnant because of me and I have to be there. I'm sorry, Marissa,"

She shook her head and said, "Go. Go and be with her. She needs to have a reason to live!"

She then shoved you away and set you off to a jumpstart as you hopped into a car with your band. This was like Silver and cold all over again but instead with you driving and Davey not being the victim. You drove for your life as you slid through the rainy streets.

You were in San Francisco so it would be an hour drive but you wanted to cut that in half for fear that you wouldn't make it in time…


	26. Better than me

"I need to get in here!" you screamed in rage as you tried to break through the chain of nurses to see, Jess. You felt your band mates hold you back as you released all your anger and fell back into their arms in frustration. You heard them sigh as you stood back up and sat down in the waiting room.

"They cannot make me wait like this," you said arrogantly. You felt your insides heat as the anger built up in you.

"Jade, please calm down. I know you're really angry about all this but trust me, man, punching a bunch of nurses won't solve anything," you heard Davey say. It brought a small smile to your face as you waited impatiently.

Finally a nurse came out and said, "I can allow two in for visitation. It'd be better if she is entertained before she undergoes some extra tests to ensure you that the twins will make it through okay."

You and Davey stood up and followed the nurse as she paced down the hall. She led you into a large room filled with equipment and wires everywhere. You then looked forward to see the bed where everything connected to. You felt your stomach clench as you walked and saw Jess' limp body laying there, pale and lifeless. You cringed as you saw her twitch as she opened her eyes. It looked like it was hurting her.

"Jess," you whispered slightly. She looked up at you as a sad look grew across her face. You bent down to her level and sighed deeply as you reached out and out your hand on her stomach. You watched her eyes widen.

"But Jade…" she managed to get out before you interrupted her with, "There's no time for explanations. I'm here for you now and that's all that matters."

She lay back uncomfortably as you looked up at you, her eyes full of questions. You shook your head as Davey sat down behind you. You exhaled as you felt her arms blindly across the scars and asked, "Why weren't you eating?"

She swallowed and said, "I didn't feel like it…when I did eat; it made me feel worse about everything,"

You then said, "Maybe you should rest. You have a lot of stuff coming up," and stood.

"Sit down," she said dully as you sat back down obeying.

She inhaled and started into a fit of coughing.

"I don't know what's wrong…but I overheard the nurses say that I'm not strong enough to deliver…and I might not make it…"

"You might die?" you shouted as you stood up out of your chair. She winced at your volume and said quietly, "I'm not positive, but there is a chance…and if I do…"  
You shook your head and shouted, "You're NOT going to die! Don't think like that,"

She sighed and said, "I don't know what I'd do if I had to go into a world where you're not in it,"

You stood up and kissed her on the forehead as you turned to leave her alone with Davey. He had said he'd wanted to give her a little pep talk. You had walked out of the room and sat down in the waiting room as you sighed and picked up a car magazine.

:.Davey's point of view.:

You smiled awkwardly and walked near the bed.

"Davey, why is Jade so stressed?" she asked quietly. You sighed and said, "It's because he cares about you and when you say you're going to die, it scares him. It scares all of us thinking about the thought of you not being here. You are the only interesting person in every conversation we've had. I mean, everyone we've met are awesome but there's something about you that just relieves us all of the problems our lives have cast off on us."

You saw her shudder from the coldness of the room as she said, "What am I going to do, Davey? I'm so confused about everything. I don't want Jade to hurt because of someone like me,"

You angrily grabbed her scarred arm and spat out, "Don't even say that about yourself! Someone like you? Someone like you is the only reason Jade drove all the way down here so he could see you! He was driving himself crazy over you! You didn't think when you broke up with him; you only grasped tour first instinct!"

You set her arm down as you watched small tears form in her eyes. "Davey, you don't understand! Why are you so angry?" she cried out using all her strength.

You felt yourself calm down as you said contently, "Jade loves you with a passion…I care about you and all but of course I'm going to give you shit when you do something wrong."

You watched as several tears came down her face, "I didn't mean to hurt him so much but it hurt me so bad to do it. It led me to my abandoned tendency…"

She raised her arms revealing many scabbed scars. You slid your fingers over them and winced as you realized how deep they were.

"I hope you know what you're doing to everyone,"

"You can't look down at me about it, Davey. You surely must know what it's like to find an obsession that relieves you if everything the world throws at you," she spilled out in defense.

"You're acting different. Why are you so angry? What happened to the calm and collected Davey I know?" she questioned.

You shook your head and said, "He's hurting because you're being unreasonable and unconfident. Think about it."

You then got up and walked out of the room.


	27. Memories of you

.:Jade's point of view:.

You lay down between two chairs pushed together. You fell asleep for what seemed like only a second before you heard something over the intercom.

"Attention, attention. Code blue room 502. I repeat, code blue room 502."

You felt yourself jump up from the loudness. Code blue…

It then occurred to you that that room was Jess's room number. You stood up and swallowed as you felt yourself storm down the white hallways. You felt your insides starting to sink towards the floor as you continued to go down the never-ending hallways.

You then noticed a door far more singled out than the others. You pushed it open and saw a group of doctors standing around an operating table as they tried to revive her. You looked at her pale sweating face as they did chest compressions. You felt your weight shift as your anticipation rose and you suddenly felt lost. You ran up to the group of doctors and pushed them aside as you watched her gasp a final breath as you saw her chest collapse. You backed away and pressed up against the wall in shock as you slid to the floor as hot tears poured down your face. You saw a nurse moving towards you. You looked at the floor and made a dash for it as you ran down the hall and refused to believe the news.

As you pushed through the doubled doors into the waiting room you screamed loudly and slammed yourself into the wall in agony. You felt presence standing over you as you sobbed into your jeans.

You then felt warmth wrap around you as you shifted and cried into Davey's chest. He whispered relaxing words into your ears as you felt your stomach clench. You felt sick to your stomach and you were completely overwhelmed with loss. You let go of Davey and you shook your head as you bit your lip.

You then cried out, "I can't let myself forget her! I won't ever forget her…she was the world…I don't have a reason to live anymore…"

:.Years later.:

You jotted ideas for songs into your notebook as you turned up the song on the radio. You then dropped the notebook when you reached over the table. When you reached down to grab it you noticed it flipped to the song you wrote after Jesse died.

It said: We could've done better

when it came to who we were

We were living in just a fairytale

but the ending just never came true

you left me all alone to live this empty life that no longer was worth living

Some days I'm just lost in

:Faster guitar:

The memories of you

they conceive through and through

one day I'll see the reasons why God forced me away from you

The memories of you

They judge me for what I do

To keep myself from wondering into even more thoughts of you!

We could've gone longer

Without losing what we had

We were stuck in something out of hand

And our secrets shared were few

But I know there's something there we had and I never will let it go away

Some days I'm just lost in

The memories of you

they conceive through and through

one day I'll see the reasons why God forced me away from you

The memories of you

They judge me for what I do

To keep myself from wondering into even more thoughts of you!

**THIS IS NOT THE END**

**"""please review""""**


	28. DIP HAHAHA

NOTE, To Bell Falcon, I need you to message me again telling me what your friend looks like and what her name is because I lost all my messages!

:..Jade's point of view..:

Your eyes flew open as you awoke from your slumber. You laid there for a second and stared at the ceiling before screaming out in agony. You lifted your self up from your chair and walked into that bathroom and soaked your face. Then you realized, "Shit, I'm still in the hospital!"

You ran out of the bathroom and dashed up to the desk where you screamed, "Is Jesse Hansen still alive?"

The woman looked at you like you were crazy before saying, "Yes, they got done with her surgery a few hours ago."

You shook your head in disbelief. Was it only a dream? This could be some weird overshadowing on real life. You couldn't let that happen.

You darted down the hall way and located Jess's room and pushed the door open. Jess was lying serenely on the bed. You walked in quietly and bent over by the bed. You grabbed her hand and stroked it gently. You got up and got onto the bed and lay beside her as you whispered into her ear, "I never ever want to lose these memories of you,"

Jess's point of view…FINALLY

You opened your eyes to see Jade lying next to you. You smiled as you scooted over to give him more room. You beamed as he snuggled closer after you scooted. You then felt something inside you kick. You then leaned down and whispered lightly, "Jade,"

He moaned and looked up at you with his big brown eyes. You then said, "Here, feel this," and grabbed his hand abruptly and put it on your stomach.  
You smiled at Jade's cute reaction as he leaned more into you.

"Jess," he said softly. "Yes?"

He sighed and continued, "I'm going to marry you. I don't care about anything. I don't ever want you to leave me alone,"

"Why would you ever think I'd really leave you? I mean, when my confidence laps likes that, it's your job to prove me wrong because honestly I love you to death, Jade," you said confidently. You then felt a sudden contraction in your lower section. "Uh…uh, Jade, I think I'm going in to labor,"

You watched his eye widened as he hopped out of the bed and screamed, "Deep breathing! Deep breathing! Hee hoo! Hee hoo!"

You glared at him and said, "You're overreacting,"

He then screamed as he tried to run out the door to get a doctor but he slipped on a cord and slammed into the wall.

"You klutz! Get up and get a doctor!"

You then heard echoes of girly squeals as he ran out.

You exhaled as doctor came in with Jade shadowing behind him like a lost little puppy. You smiled but sighed as you felt more pressure being laid upon you.

You started to feel a lot of pain as you felt Jade standing beside you wincing.

4 hours later

"I can see a head!" a nursed called. "One down, one more to go!" she called as the second was coming out.

"Oh God, I think I'm going to p…" Jade said before passing out. TT was your expression as you stared at your dork boyfriend lying on the floor passed out.

"Is he going to be alright?" one of the nurses asked. You shook your head and said, "Hell, just leave him there for all I care. I mean. He's ONLY my fiancé!"

:Skipping Birth details cuz it's too icky:

"So what do you want to name the girl?"  
You inhaled and said, "We're not sure yet. We need a little more time to think."

She sighed agitated and asked, "What about the boy?"

You swallowed and said, "Devon Isaac Puget"

Jade coughed out, "DIP," before he cracked up laughing. You punched him in the arm to shut him up before whispering harshly, "Jade, we're trying to make a good impression or they won't let us leave with them at all!"

"Oh…" he said looking up as the nurse sketched down the name.

"The health of your babies is pretty weak since it's only been a few days but they should develop all regular posture soon enough. It's pretty rare to have twins survive, you know? But you might be one of the lucky ones."

"Thank you, we'll be back tomorrow morning," you said as you walked out to the car. You moaned as you got in and said, "Jade, I've gained 5 pounds since the pregnancy! I'm getting fat!"

He made a shocked face before he said, "Oh my gosh! I'm going to have an ugly wife? Oh no!" before rolling his eyes and turning the ignition. You giggled and turned on the radio.

"Oh I love this song!" you said as you started singing the words to Wondering by Good Charlotte (Don't kill me! I like this song!)

Jade laughed as you sung along to it and pointed to him at every chorus while dancing.

"If you want me to wait, I will wait for you! If you tell me to stay, I would stay right through! If you don't want to say anything at all, I'm happy wondering!"

He just smiled and shook his head shyly. You then grabbed your camera from the back of the car and snapped a photo of him driving.

"Jade, why must you look so good I EVERY single picture?" you cooed.

"Because I'm a camera whore," he said blankly.

"Aw, but I love your camera whore-ness!" you said enthusiastically. Then Jade turned, and it was as if he was in slow motion as he gave you those conspicuous brown eyes with a flash of a smile. You felt yourself slightly breathless for a second before you regained normal breathing rate.

"I don't know if I've ever told you this but you have astonishing eyes," you said with a slight shy tone. He turned again only this time he said, "Mine are dull and dark. Yours are beautifully light and edged with emerald tones and a hint of brown. I don't think there is anything unique about my eyes when I'm next to you,"

You blinked, slightly taken aback by his comment.

"But Jade, there's still something good about your eyes. They almost black but they have this lively aura around them of light brown and a little hazel. Trust me; if you had eyes like mine, I doubt I'd like you so much. Your eyes pierce," you said pouting your lower lip a little. Jade smiled relentlessly as he continued driving.


	29. Adolescent Memories

You woke up the next morning at your house. You got out of bed and walked downstairs and saw Jade putting his coat on.

"Where are you going?" you asked. He looked at you and said bluntly, "I'm bringing our children home."

You smiled and squealed, "Yay! Let me get my shoes on!" before stumbling on the floor to snatch them. You tied them and got up and out the door. As you got into the car, Jade said, "So, this all makes you wonder what they're going to be as teenagers, huh?"

You nodded and said, "It's going to be so weird now. I mean, we're not even married and we have 2 kids."

"You make it sound worse than the situation. I mean, who knew you'd have twins?"

You nodded and sighed frustratingly and said, "Yeah but I mean, we're supposed to be having 'the life' but here we are already stating the next generation. It's weird because I'm still a kid inside,"

He nodded and said, "Yeah, I know how you feel,"

The rest of the ride was silent as you drove to the hospital.

As you walked in with Jade, hand in hand, you felt a little nervous for the health of your children. You hoped they were okay.

You walk in, not really sure why you were anxious but when that nurse handed you little girl to you in a blanket, you gasped in awe at how beautiful she was.

"Jade, look at all her hair! She has my natural color and my curls! But your eyes! She's beautiful!"

"You had curls?" Jade asked.

"Naturally. I have to straighten my hair!"

"Oh I see…"

Jade then took the baby from your hands and nuzzled her face.

"Name?" the nurse asked. You looked at Jade and he looked up and said, "Quinn Rosette Puget." You smiled at the cuteness factor of a 32 year old musician naming his baby girl. Then the nurse handed you Devon. You stared in admiration at his dark curls and dark eyes. He had Jade's nose and lips. You gleamed as you looked up at jade and said, "Jade, I think we're on our way to something great. All we need to do is get married already!" and showed him your bare finger. He giggled his childish laugh and said, "It's okay. I promise that we will! Maybe in a few weeks we can get married without all that fuss of inviting people because honestly, people already assume we're married. Typical, I guess."

You sighed and smiled at him as you walked out with your children, in hope of starting something new.

You and Jade had then soon gotten married in a small church outside of Berkeley. You had put your children in school and had watched them grow into toddlers. Then into children. Then they all turn into adolescents. In other words the hardest stage. When you as adults try your hardest to understand anything your child brings to you. And it's the stage when teens feel insecure about their impact on society in general. Karma sure is a bitch.

You can try to do everything for them. But who knew life ever came to this?

.:15 years later:. Yes shaquell, we're all old hags:

"I'm not going to school. You can't make me." You heard your son recall boldly, his voice echoing down the stairs.

"What is keeping you from school that makes you want to skip it so bad? You've missed 3 days this week! I can't keep you home forever, you know?" you yelled in reply.

"Try me," he shouted, trying your patience. You bit your lip in frustration and yelled, "You're really fucking stubborn!"

"Who does that remind you of?" you heard Jade remark from the kitchen.

"Jade, I'm serious! He's missing school for some reason and I can't keep giving into his every issue. If there is something going on at school, we need to call someone about it."

Jade sighed and stood up. He made a saddened face and said, "I know. I can't get through to him like you can. I don't know what I'm supposed to do to help,"

You smiled sympathetically and said, "Go talk to him. He's really worrying me. Well, I'm going to take Quinn to school. Please be gentle on him. He's sensitive," as you put your coat on.

Jade nodded and sighed as you shut the door and left. He then grabbed a glass of soy milk and walked upstairs. He walked down the hall to Geiger's old room and knocked lightly on the door.

"What?" yelled Devon harshly. Jade winced at the sudden hostility and opened the door slowly.

"Hey, it's me," said Jade humbly as he walked in and set the glass on the coffee table as he sat down on the couch by his bed.

"Devon, why don't you want to go to school? You know your mom hates it when you stay home because she knows there a strong reason you refuse. Is it your teachers," He started before Devon interrupted with, "It doesn't have to do with anyone. I just don't feel like going, okay?"

Jade sighed and said, "Come on, if I promised not to tell your mom, would you tell me?"

Devon then jumped down from his bed, which was on top of a bunk bed.

"It's not really that big of a deal…It's just there are…some guys…and they're kind of…" He paused not going on. Jade continued to get out an answer and said, "Yeah, what about 'these guys'?"

Devon groaned and punched the wall and yelled, "They're…I can't tell you! You don't even know!"

Tears were running down his face and blood ran down his fist. Jade sat slightly shocked by his son's reaction.

"Devon…what's going on?"

He shook his head and wiped his tears with his hand. "I'm not ready…to tell you yet…I wish…it was easier to say…" he whispered in between sniffles. Jade stood up and gave his son a half hug and walked out the room but stopped in the doorway before and said, "Tell me whenever you're ready, Devon,"

As Jade walked out, Devon turned and leaned on the wall. He raised his hand to his chin as more tears came down to the horrid memory of what happened that week.

Devon's point of view:.This is a first!

You moaned as you awoke from some kind of slumber. You got up and looked around and saw you were lying on top of your coffee table. "What happened?" you thought as the memories of earlier shifted back into you. You must have passed out from your breakdown. You shook your head and brushed a curl out of your eyes as you got up and walked downstairs. You noticed your sister sitting alone on the couch.

"Quinn, what's wrong?" you asked. She stared at the floor and said, "They mentioned you today…"

"What the fuck did they say to you? Did they…"

"No," she finished, "They didn't do anything to me. They just said…that they're really ashamed of what they did…and they want to make it up to us…"

You grabbed your hair and yelled, "We're not fucking going to have anything to do with them! It's way too late for them to make it up to us…to you…"

You saw hurt in her eyes as she said, "You know…I know it was really bad for that to happen…but you don't have to be so overprotective of me. I can take care of myself,"

You felt the urge to say something more but you turned around and walked into the kitchen. You couldn't wait for Spring break in a few weeks. You were going to spend it your own way.

Spring break rolls around:

"What do you mean you're leaving?" you screamed.

"But mom, we had plans!" shouted Quinn afterwards. Your mom and dad looked at each other and mom said, "Well, we decided we were going to head and go visit my parents in-law up in the south so we figured we'd take you along and drop you off at your aunt Shaquell's place."

You looked at Quinn questionably and asked, "Who is aunt Shaquell?"

Your mom turned around and said, "She's my best friend who's married to Davey. She used to baby-sit you 5 years ago but you most likely don't remember. You'll really like their place though; they have a bunch of neat stuff,"

You frowned and stubbornly leaned on the wall and said with your arms crossed, "But I don't want to leave. I was just starting to get back into my sleeping schedule,"

Then you felt someone slap you on the back of your head. You turned and saw Quinn smiling and saying "Don't be such a putz! Maybe it'll be better than we think!"

You sighed and before you knew it, you were being dragged across the state in the back of a Honda civic, staring out the window.

You leaned your head and thought about how sad you felt inside. You hated being like this all the time. You should be happy but you feel so dragged down.

You shifted your headphones as you sat up to make the song repeat. It was By the Way by Hinder. Your dad gave you thee CD a few years ago and said it was older but it was really awesome. You've loved it ever since.

As the song started up again, you snuggled against the rest on the door and closed your eyes.

Hours later  
You opened your eyes and looked out your window and saw a large house covered with large vines. You noticed neatly cut grass as your dad drove around the horse-shoe shaped driveway. As the car stopped, you got out and stretched a little before trailing behind your parents as they walked up to the entry way.  
They pressed the doorbell but no one answered. You all exchanged confused glances before decinding to just walk in. You saw a large staircase and heard Smooth Criminal by Alien Ant farm blaring loudly and echoing over the room. Your mom yelled loudly to see if shaquell would respond but got nothing. But then someone with big hair and huge headphones on appeared in the room. But she didn't noticed your presence in the room as she continued rocking out to the song. Then she looked up and screamed loudly, "Oh my god, I had no clue you were here already! Davey, get down here! Jesserz and Jadeykins are here and they brought the kids!"  
You saw Davey stumble out and pulling his pants up while screaming, "What? They brought DIP and Quinn?"  
You twitched at his usage of your childish nickname. You raised an eyebrow at the question of what they were doing before you arrived but shook off the eerie thought. He still had his cut hair but it was a lot more styled now from when you saw him a few years ago.  
You looked over at your sister and noticed she was laughing to herself as she rubbed the sleeves of her fitted hoody.  
"Oh, you two look so cute standing next to each other with your dark hair and matching curls!" Shaquell recalled as she walked up and embraced your mom who said, "You're looking great for a 35 years old hag! It's great to see you again! It's been awhile,"  
"Yeah, I know. I wish you guys could visit more but I understand that you're very busy having kids and all. I wish I could've seen them earlier but you kept them all sealed away with private school and all. Plus, you never dragged them to any of the concerts. tsk tsk."  
Your mom smiled as she bluntly shrugged and said, "Well, me and Jade would love to stay but we better get going. Take care of the kids...don't corrupt them in an way, shape or form. Don't take them with you to any bar/clubs or etc...oh and also, I don't want them to getting into any cars with Davey. Um, I think you figure the rules so I guess I'll leave. Jade, let's go!"  
"Coming! I talk to you later, David." he said and embraced Davey before walking back over and hugging each of us before leaving.  
"This should be interesting," you thought aloud before turning and seeing Davey practicing ninja moves and accidentally knocking a glass vase onto the marble floors. You sighed and put your bags on the ground.

As you looked up, Shaquell stood directly above you smiling widely. You frowned and made a suspicious look as she answered with, "I know you're the most sensitive in the whole family but I promise that I'll try not to get on your last nerve. Just tell me what you want to do first,"

You smirked as an idea popped into your mind. "Take me out driving," you demanded. She backed away at your tone and then said, "That's a great idea! Come on, Davey! Let's go get the hummer!"

You raised an eyebrow, thinking to yourself, "What a bunch of suckers,"  
The next thing you knew was you were in the driver's seat and ready to take the wheel. You inhaled deeply as you gently pressed the accelerator. But right as you pressed it, Shaquell came up and screamed in your ear, "You're doing it wrong!"

It made you jump and hit your head on the ceiling. "Ow," you whined, "what the hell are you doing?"

"Giving you proper direction seeing as you're completely out of range."

You glared at her and shifted it into gear and pushed down the gas pedal. You drove down the road for a little while and everything was generally going pretty well. Or it was until you turned your head around to look at Shaquell and ended up rearending another car.

"Shit, your mother didn't warn me of this. She's going to kill me!"

Note:I'm super stuck from this point on because I have come up with a new story and I really hope you'll enjoy that one but this is all I have. I'm running out of ideas for the ending but I already know about what happened to Quinn and Devon. It's kind of sad but I'm working on my other one. Please read it!


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